flipside of boys acting masculine, girls acting feminine?

jamiesgotagun

I don't care that much what other people do as long as it doesn't hurt me.

^^^^my thoughts exactly!!

LorinaLynn

Cooking and sewing should not be taught to girls. It should be taught to everyone.

Same as how to change the oil in your car or fix a flat tire, how to unclog a blocked drain, and other so-called "boy" things.

My father was a mechanic at a dress factory. He knew how to repair sewing machines AND use them, and I'm not quite as handy as he was, but I'm a Jenny of All Trades. Drywall, plumbing, electrical, as well as sewing, cooking, and dancing in high heels.

I can't fold a fitted sheet, though. :embarassed: I've come to accept my shortcomings. :laugh:

Rae6503

Feminism is about women having all the same choices and options as a man. And yes, one of those options is staying home with children. I would cringe a little about a girl planning on doing this because what happens if she never gets married? She needs a back up obviously.

nessajk

No, it doesn't bother me at all, but I don't feel like in today's world that schools should prioritize teaching cooking and sewing, however. For a daughter of my own, I would be fine with her wanting to do that but I would still expect her to have the technical skills to be able to have a career and take care of herself. Most women don't get married until 30yo these days. What will she do in the meantime? And if there is a divorce, she would need to be able to support herself. I've learned to cook and sew on my own, I wouldn't want my kids to be learning that in school if it was in place of other classes.

Elizabeth_C34

ladies, does it bother you when you hear a woman aspire to be a stay-at-home mom instead of working a career? several of my friends feel offended by it because 'it's not the 50s; women can do more than that now'. how do you feel about schools teaching girls how to cook and sew (a lost art)?

I think it's a wonderful thing if a woman wishes to be home with her kids. It's not the right choice for every woman, and that is completely fine.

I work in academia, and there is a lot of stigma about women who quit to stay home with their kids more, but as a child of a single hardworking mother, I can say it would've been so nice to have her home more and more engaged in my life growing up.

My grandmothers taught me how to sew and cook, and even as a woman who is on her way to Ph.D. and a career, I consider them essential life skills not just skills for a homemaker. Everyone should know how to prepare a healthy meal for themselves and repair small holes in their garmets.

Pocket_Pixi

I think schools should teach both boys and girls how to cook and sew, I do not know how many times I have had to sew a button on something for one of my brothers because he has NO clue what the heck he is doing.

My youngest brother just dropped a life transition course because he was too bored with it and in all honesty he is the one that did my budget for me, but they teach the students how to grocery shop, meal plan, budget, sew, cook etc. I really wish they had something like this when I was in school.

As for when people choose to stay home with their kids and be homemakers. I see nothing wrong with it, I don't know if I can say I would do it or not but if it is what is going to make someone happy, and if they can afford to do it I say go for it.

Rae6503

Do schools no longer offer Home Ec? I took it in junior high. My mother had taught me to "sew" but that class taught me how to read patterns, how to thread and handle the machine, etc. There were boys in the class as well, but it was an elective so only a few boys took it.

cdstadt

As long as it is a CHOICE, I see nothing wrong with it.

Yeah. Expecting a woman to have a successful career is just as stereotypical as expecting a woman to be a stay at home mom. We need to drop all the expectations.

kb455

I work in academia, and there is a lot of stigma about women who quit to stay home with their kids more

I agree. When I left my job to be a stay at home mom, I got a lot of varied reactions. More often than not, the most negative, judgmental reactions were from my FEMALE coworkers.

Elizabeth_C34

I work in academia, and there is a lot of stigma about women who quit to stay home with their kids more

I agree. When I left my job to be a stay at home mom, I got a lot of varied reactions. More often than not, the most negative, judgmental reactions were from my FEMALE coworkers.

My best friend just finished a Ph.D. in Chemistry from one of the best schools in the world with an incredible resume of publications, and when she decided to stay home with her family, her adviser, many of her colleagues, and others really made her fer awful for it. They said she had "wasted" herself. It was very sad to see her so upset over it. She's a wonderful incredible woman.

Shanna_Inc86

I would love to be a stay at home mom! However I have to work to pay the bills. I don't think there is a more respectable job than taking care of your children. Also I do think that schools should teach cooking and sewing, but I think it should be taught to both boys and girls. My husband is a wonderful cook as is my father. Look at how many celebrity cooks there are... Bobby Flay, Emeril, Elton Brown, the list goes on and on. I think it is important for everyone to learn how to cook for themselvs and to not be reliant on someone else to feed them.

Totally agree. I'm a single mom and even before I became a single mom, I was still a "single" mom lol
I hate that other people get to spend more time with my daughter than I do...I hate that at times, they've known she could do something before I did. I wish I could have stayed home with her as a baby, toddler and even now. I feel like I've missed out on so much.

If I had done things the "right way" and gotten married to someone who had a good job and it didn't require me to work full time, I wouldn't have. I would have stayed home, raised our child, taken care of our home and been very happy doing that.

Scott613

I wanna be a trophy husband!!! Does that count?

Ocarina

Me and my husband are of the nature that both people should work as you never know what could happen. Kids totally throw that into a different situation though. Currently I'm going to school to become an engineer and once I get my Bachelors I'll be working full time hopefully making enough so my husband can quit his job or go part time and start at school. If we have kids I'm more up for my husband being the stay at home dad then me staying home. I'm more career oriented and he would be more fitting for caring for children. It's not that I hate kids but it's not my thing that I would want to do 100% so if it was more economical to have a parent at home then he'd be it. Who knows though, you can't predict the future!

As far as Home-ec goes I think that it is very important they teach that stuff to both genders and make it mandatory or spice up the class so that people want to enroll. I had that in junior high and had a lot of fun with it. I will say I don't remember anything I learned but luckily have an amazing grandmother that taught me everything I know. It's only going to make your life easier to know how to do things. I personally will not do the car stuff though as my husband signed up for that and feels more then happy to do it. I do the cooking M-F since I'm a damn good cook and do laundry as I prefer to do it a certain way where he would screw it up! LOL!

In summary, I think it totally depends on the situation and stay at home parents are respectable if they aren't hurting economically because of it!

chubbychristianchick

I would LOVE to be a stay at home house wife.... It would be amazing!

adjones5

I went to BYU and I am very happy that I was taught to cook, sew, clean and take care of husband/children. I think being a stay at home mom is a very honorable thing to do. If you want to go and have a career thats good for you but people looking down on women who want to be stay at home moms is horse ****. Keeping a home is not an easy thing to do and I'm proud to say that I've been prepared to do so.

WifeNMama

Do schools no longer offer Home Ec? I took it in junior high. My mother had taught me to "sew" but that class taught me how to read patterns, how to thread and handle the machine, etc. There were boys in the class as well, but it was an elective so only a few boys took it.

^^Me too.^^

I was working full time outside of the home until my husband and I were ready for children. I loved having my mom at home when I was a kid, walking home from school in the winter and coming in to fresh baked bread or cinnamon rolls, etc. is one of my favorite memories. So we decided that if we were going to have kids, we were going to raise them, not some paid workers in a day home. I want to know what my children are learning, want to see them meet their milestones, etc.
Because our finances are a bit tight, as usual haha, I am going to have to find a part time job for a while, hopefully a year or so. But in the mean time, my husband works from home most days so he will look after the kids while I am out. We are so blessed to have a lot of time together and the kids see their Daddy a lot. One of the perks of him being a pastor. I'm glad we won't have to pay for a babysitter or find a daycare, it will be a stretch with scheduling stuff, and finding a job that I find rewarding.

Being a stay at home mom or dad is not for the faint of heart, because even though people say "we ought to have the choice to do it all" they think women are somehow slacking off if they choose to stay at home. It's a big daunting, often thankless job, but seeing your children grow into strong, independent, productive members of society is the biggest reward.

Missylydia

I think it would be great for schools to teach girls to cook and sew ... but only if they teach the boys, too.
Those are skills that EVERYBODY needs ... plus laundry, budgeting, credit cards, basic car maintenance, basic carpentry, etc.

Our high schools should make a basic life skills class mandatory for graduation.
We are pushing all students to learn calculus (which is great, but rarely real-life useful), whereas they'd be way better off if we taught them to understand credit and credit ratings or how to evaluate buying a car vs. leasing, etc.

This!
Spot on!
When I went to school we did learn some basic cooking, sewing and carpentry skills and it has helped me no end. I am super handy around the house, but it took me 8 years to learn how to budget, and of course I am suffering for that now!

ItsCasey

Doesn't bother me at all when a woman aspires to be a stay-at-home mom. It's a critical function in our society, and there is nothing wrong with WANTING to fill that role as long as you are married to someone who can financially provide for you and your kid(s).

I am also not bothered by men wanting to be stay-at-home dads. An ex-boyfriend and I had this discussion once when he suggested that was something he was interested in. He said he thinks that mothers have an immediate, natural bond with a child, but for fathers, it takes more effort to build that, so he views being a stay-at-home dad as a way to fill that gap. Of course, he also felt that it would have to make financial sense, i.e. a man who earns a much higher salary than his wife or has much more more upward mobility needs to consider all of that before quitting his job and putting the family's security on her shoulders.

jernigan51

I have no problem with SAHM's or learning to cook/sew in school! I did, and I'm a "working" mom (outside of the home). I think the grass is always greener, and the important thing is that the option is there for THEM to choose what they want! I don't care what my daughter chooses to either way, as long as SHE is happy.

fteale

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mother. I think if anything it's more damaging to families having both parents out working all hours.
I think sewing and cooking should be taught to all children in schools, not just girls. At my school us girls had to do our own washing, whereas the boys had theirs done for them. The rationale was that the boys wouldn't bother and so would smell, but it was intolerably sexist as far as I was concerned. I think children should be brought up equally, with equal opportunities in all things. It isn't the role of schools to be gender divisive, with the exception of sport where it could be dangerous for boys and girls to play together once they are 13/14 plus as boys tend to be bigger. I do think all children should be given the same range of sports, though. I don't believe in rugby and football for boys, netball and hockey for girls. They should all have the chance to do what they choose.