flipside of boys acting masculine, girls acting feminine?

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Replies

  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    I would love to be a stay at home mom! However I have to work to pay the bills. I don't think there is a more respectable job than taking care of your children. Also I do think that schools should teach cooking and sewing, but I think it should be taught to both boys and girls. My husband is a wonderful cook as is my father. Look at how many celebrity cooks there are... Bobby Flay, Emeril, Elton Brown, the list goes on and on. I think it is important for everyone to learn how to cook for themselvs and to not be reliant on someone else to feed them.

    Totally agree. I'm a single mom and even before I became a single mom, I was still a "single" mom lol
    I hate that other people get to spend more time with my daughter than I do...I hate that at times, they've known she could do something before I did. I wish I could have stayed home with her as a baby, toddler and even now. I feel like I've missed out on so much.

    If I had done things the "right way" and gotten married to someone who had a good job and it didn't require me to work full time, I wouldn't have. I would have stayed home, raised our child, taken care of our home and been very happy doing that.
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    I wanna be a trophy husband!!! Does that count?
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Me and my husband are of the nature that both people should work as you never know what could happen. Kids totally throw that into a different situation though. Currently I'm going to school to become an engineer and once I get my Bachelors I'll be working full time hopefully making enough so my husband can quit his job or go part time and start at school. If we have kids I'm more up for my husband being the stay at home dad then me staying home. I'm more career oriented and he would be more fitting for caring for children. It's not that I hate kids but it's not my thing that I would want to do 100% so if it was more economical to have a parent at home then he'd be it. Who knows though, you can't predict the future!

    As far as Home-ec goes I think that it is very important they teach that stuff to both genders and make it mandatory or spice up the class so that people want to enroll. I had that in junior high and had a lot of fun with it. I will say I don't remember anything I learned but luckily have an amazing grandmother that taught me everything I know. It's only going to make your life easier to know how to do things. I personally will not do the car stuff though as my husband signed up for that and feels more then happy to do it. I do the cooking M-F since I'm a damn good cook and do laundry as I prefer to do it a certain way where he would screw it up! LOL!

    In summary, I think it totally depends on the situation and stay at home parents are respectable if they aren't hurting economically because of it!
  • I would LOVE to be a stay at home house wife.... It would be amazing!
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    I went to BYU and I am very happy that I was taught to cook, sew, clean and take care of husband/children. I think being a stay at home mom is a very honorable thing to do. If you want to go and have a career thats good for you but people looking down on women who want to be stay at home moms is horse ****. Keeping a home is not an easy thing to do and I'm proud to say that I've been prepared to do so.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Do schools no longer offer Home Ec? I took it in junior high. My mother had taught me to "sew" but that class taught me how to read patterns, how to thread and handle the machine, etc. There were boys in the class as well, but it was an elective so only a few boys took it.

    ^^Me too.^^

    I was working full time outside of the home until my husband and I were ready for children. I loved having my mom at home when I was a kid, walking home from school in the winter and coming in to fresh baked bread or cinnamon rolls, etc. is one of my favorite memories. So we decided that if we were going to have kids, we were going to raise them, not some paid workers in a day home. I want to know what my children are learning, want to see them meet their milestones, etc.
    Because our finances are a bit tight, as usual haha, I am going to have to find a part time job for a while, hopefully a year or so. But in the mean time, my husband works from home most days so he will look after the kids while I am out. We are so blessed to have a lot of time together and the kids see their Daddy a lot. One of the perks of him being a pastor. I'm glad we won't have to pay for a babysitter or find a daycare, it will be a stretch with scheduling stuff, and finding a job that I find rewarding.

    Being a stay at home mom or dad is not for the faint of heart, because even though people say "we ought to have the choice to do it all" they think women are somehow slacking off if they choose to stay at home. It's a big daunting, often thankless job, but seeing your children grow into strong, independent, productive members of society is the biggest reward.
  • Missylydia
    Missylydia Posts: 304 Member
    I think it would be great for schools to teach girls to cook and sew ... but only if they teach the boys, too.
    Those are skills that EVERYBODY needs ... plus laundry, budgeting, credit cards, basic car maintenance, basic carpentry, etc.

    Our high schools should make a basic life skills class mandatory for graduation.
    We are pushing all students to learn calculus (which is great, but rarely real-life useful), whereas they'd be way better off if we taught them to understand credit and credit ratings or how to evaluate buying a car vs. leasing, etc.

    This!
    Spot on!
    When I went to school we did learn some basic cooking, sewing and carpentry skills and it has helped me no end. I am super handy around the house, but it took me 8 years to learn how to budget, and of course I am suffering for that now!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Doesn't bother me at all when a woman aspires to be a stay-at-home mom. It's a critical function in our society, and there is nothing wrong with WANTING to fill that role as long as you are married to someone who can financially provide for you and your kid(s).

    I am also not bothered by men wanting to be stay-at-home dads. An ex-boyfriend and I had this discussion once when he suggested that was something he was interested in. He said he thinks that mothers have an immediate, natural bond with a child, but for fathers, it takes more effort to build that, so he views being a stay-at-home dad as a way to fill that gap. Of course, he also felt that it would have to make financial sense, i.e. a man who earns a much higher salary than his wife or has much more more upward mobility needs to consider all of that before quitting his job and putting the family's security on her shoulders.
  • I have no problem with SAHM's or learning to cook/sew in school! I did, and I'm a "working" mom (outside of the home). I think the grass is always greener, and the important thing is that the option is there for THEM to choose what they want! I don't care what my daughter chooses to either way, as long as SHE is happy.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I don't think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mother. I think if anything it's more damaging to families having both parents out working all hours.
    I think sewing and cooking should be taught to all children in schools, not just girls. At my school us girls had to do our own washing, whereas the boys had theirs done for them. The rationale was that the boys wouldn't bother and so would smell, but it was intolerably sexist as far as I was concerned. I think children should be brought up equally, with equal opportunities in all things. It isn't the role of schools to be gender divisive, with the exception of sport where it could be dangerous for boys and girls to play together once they are 13/14 plus as boys tend to be bigger. I do think all children should be given the same range of sports, though. I don't believe in rugby and football for boys, netball and hockey for girls. They should all have the chance to do what they choose.
  • Kristina0202
    Kristina0202 Posts: 188 Member
    I see nothing wrong with it as long as it's what the girl wants and not what they feel like they are supposed to do because they are women.
  • I dont fault people either way ... My wife worked before the kids came along and made the choice to be at stay at home mom.. Both paths have different rewards and challenges. In addition to staying home weve chosen to home school our 2 girls ( 8 and 11) so shes as busy as she would be working a 9 to 5 .. it all comes down to what you want to work towards..
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    ladies, does it bother you when you hear a woman aspire to be a stay-at-home mom instead of working a career? several of my friends feel offended by it because 'it's not the 50s; women can do more than that now'. how do you feel about schools teaching girls how to cook and sew (a lost art)?

    The beauty of modern day is that I think women can choose to do what they wish to do and it seems to me that many different lifestyles are being accepted now. A woman can choose to stay home with kids or work and it seems to be okay (by the general masses).

    I think what's important is that a woman never gets so comfortable as to ever completely depend on a man monetarily. Nothing is guaranteed in life, I say that having been married to my husband for 10 years. A woman should never be in a position to feel like if her husband/man left or if she wanted out, that it would ruin her life's stability.

    What she said.

    As far as schools teaching sewing and cooking, as far as I know they still do. My son took home ec classes in high school even though he already knew how to cook (he's 25 now). He enjoyed sewing. I wish my daughter could be a stay at home mom and home school her kids but unfortunately both her and her husband have to work.
  • LuluGirl140
    LuluGirl140 Posts: 364 Member
    Before I had my 2nd child, I always thought that I could NEVER stay home. I was literally going crazy after 4 weeks of maternity leave. Checking my emails constantly, calling coworkers several times a week. I needed the adult interaction. Now, however, I feel like my kids need me. I don't think I'd be able to stay at home full time, I'd need to stay busy maybe volunteering at my kids school, but I'd love to be able to pick them up from school and spend some quality time together. Now it's hurry up and do homework, hurry up and eat dinner, hurry up and take a shower and go to bed. I'm not enjoying my kids and I really wish I could.

    I think if someone has the option to stay home and they want to, then that's great, regardless of which parent it is. As far as the whole home-ec topic, I think everyone should learn everything. All kids should learn to cook, clean, do laundry, balance a checkbook, change the oil, change a flat, etc. I fully believe in having the ability to be independent.

    Now all I need is to win the lottery so I can work part time and be able to pick up my kids right after school. :smile:
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    I wanna be a trophy husband!!! Does that count?

    With biceps and abs like that, it shouldn't be a problem....:smile:
  • hanna1210
    hanna1210 Posts: 286 Member
    ladies, does it bother you when you hear a woman aspire to be a stay-at-home mom instead of working a career? several of my friends feel offended by it because 'it's not the 50s; women can do more than that now'. how do you feel about schools teaching girls how to cook and sew (a lost art)?

    I figure that we now have a choice, and that's what is important. Do what you want, not going to bother me.

    And honestly, I think it would have been great to have had those classes when I was in school. I'm a horrible cook and I can barely sew a button. Just makes me feel useless. (However, I can bake like a pro :wink: )
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    To those of you who have mentioned that a woman shouldn't be totally financially dependent on a man for finances, the key to that is to keep him totally dependent on you for sandwiches.

    (And yes, I'm joking)
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    I think it would be great for schools to teach girls to cook and sew ... but only if they teach the boys, too.
    Those are skills that EVERYBODY needs ... plus laundry, budgeting, credit cards, basic car maintenance, basic carpentry, etc.

    Our high schools should make a basic life skills class mandatory for graduation.
    We are pushing all students to learn calculus (which is great, but rarely real-life useful), whereas they'd be way better off if we taught them to understand credit and credit ratings or how to evaluate buying a car vs. leasing, etc.

    This!
    Spot on!
    When I went to school we did learn some basic cooking, sewing and carpentry skills and it has helped me no end. I am super handy around the house, but it took me 8 years to learn how to budget, and of course I am suffering for that now!

    The class should be called "how to not need your mommy to take care of you in your 30s - 101"
  • Beckym1205
    Beckym1205 Posts: 217 Member
    I would loooooove to be a stay at home mom, but that's just not realistic at this point in my life. I was a single mom for 8 years so I had no choice but to work. I just got married this year, but my husband does not make enough to support us all at this time so I still must work. I'm ok with that for the time being, but I want to have another child and I don't want to figure out child care for me to return to work. So that being said, when a woman talks about being a stay at home mom it does kind of bother me... because I'm jealous of her. But I'm still happy for her that she's able to do that.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    I wish that they taught everyone to cook, sew (just the basics), balance a checkbook and basically do those day to day chores that ALL grow-ups have to do. They could call it Real Life 101
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    ladies, does it bother you when you hear a woman aspire to be a stay-at-home mom instead of working a career? several of my friends feel offended by it because 'it's not the 50s; women can do more than that now'. how do you feel about schools teaching girls how to cook and sew (a lost art)?

    I think people should be allowed to aspire tobe whatever they want to be. As for teaching girls how to cook and sew,well I think that dependes on if thats what they want to learn to do,girl or boy
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
    Anyone and everyone who lives on their own or with a family unit should know how to cook AND clean. Unless you can afford servants to cook and clean .. you better find a way to learn these skills or you will be a complete mess in the adult world. THAT goes for both men and women. What ever happend to co-ed home education?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Men that are stay at home dads (the term actually makes me want to vomit) have absolutely no testicles.

    Isn't there something inside you as a man that needs to provide for your family?

    It depends on the man. Most men simply couldn't live with an arrangement where he stayed home with the kids while his wife earned a living to support the family. I understand that, and I don't think it's sexist. I think it's natural.

    However, there are some marriages where the wife makes considerably more money than the husband and is more likely to increase her earning potential. If they have young children and decide that one parent needs to stay home with the kids, it would be financially stupid for the wife to give up a lucrative career that would provide a comfortable life for her family. Obviously, if the husband isn't okay with being the stay-at-home parent, then it's not going to work, but if he's willing to swallow his pride and make the best decision for the family, I don't think that makes him less of a man. There's more than one way to take care of your family.
  • Kristina0202
    Kristina0202 Posts: 188 Member
    Just something about it does not sit right with me. A man letting a woman provide for him? How does that guy even achieve and maintain an erection?

    This pisses me off.

    In case you haven't noticed, it's no longer 1950. A woman can provide for her family just as well, or even better, than any man could.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    What my parents did was that my dad worked days and my mom worked nights. Both got to get out and work, but still felt like stay-at-home parents too...best of both worlds! I loved having my mom and dad equally involved in my lives.
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