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what lies do you tell your children?

2

Replies

  • wildcard29
    wildcard29 Posts: 322 Member
    Everything is chicken in my house...fish, steak, turkey, etc...it's always chicken and they always eat it lol
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    "mommy loves you"


    this is why i should never have kids.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    the ice cream truck plays the music so you won't be too made they're out of ice cream. if you see it with NOT playing music, they might have some, otherwise, you really shouldn't bother.

    so far, so good!
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    I personally have a problem with Santa and the Easter Bunny, so I have not encouraged those lies. Tell your children to beware of weird old men you don't know with lollies, and then push them towards a very weird old man to sit on his lap, just strangely hypocritical.

    GG
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    The only obvious one is Father Christmas. Even there, I try not to lie, but more evade the questions.

    I struggle a bit when they ask about God as we are very much agnostic, but their school is C of E. They seem to think of God as an invisible giant ninja, and I really don't have any answers for them on the subject.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    The only obvious one is Father Christmas. Even there, I try not to lie, but more evade the questions.

    I struggle a bit when they ask about God as we are very much agnostic, but their school is C of E. They seem to think of God as an invisible giant ninja, and I really don't have any answers for them on the subject.

    "K, mom! It's 7am on a Sunday! We're off to Invisible Giant Ninja School! We'll talk to the ceiling in hopes that you don't get stealthily assassinated while we're reciting our hymns! Don't burn the cookies or you'll have to commit seppuku. Love youuuu!"
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Mommy will die without nightly foot rubs.

    What??? :huh:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I tell them when I give them Dt. sprite that I am giving them Mt. Dew. No way are they getting that much sugar and caffeine!
  • Unwrapping_Candy
    Unwrapping_Candy Posts: 487 Member
    The most devastating lie my parents ever told me was pretty much the same one Mark Bellison tells the world in the film "The Invention of Lying". I will never make my future children believe in anything as silly as that.

    Anyone who tells the Bellison lie looks like this to me: pinokio.jpg
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    The most devastating lie my parents ever told me was pretty much the same one Mark Bellison tells the world in the film "The Invention of Lying". I will never make my future children believe in anything as silly as that.

    Anyone who tells the Bellison lie looks like this to me: img

    Seriously dude.

    :drinker:
  • voluptuous_veggie
    voluptuous_veggie Posts: 476 Member
    lying.jpg
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
    the true identity of the father...

    no jk :)

    i am guilty of the santa, tooth fairy, easter bunny lie. she just believed it and i didnt deny it! shame on me!
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
    If I ate the crust on my bread that I would sing better. I believed it for a long time too.
  • thirtyandthriving
    thirtyandthriving Posts: 613 Member
    My daughters first lie: My husband told my daughter that if she knocked on the garage door 3 times it would open (She was like 20 months). She would knock and he would press the garage door opener that he had in his hands. Doesn't seem like much but it broke my heart when we were next to some other garages that were next to the play ground and her little hand is pounding the air, and her little voice saying "knock, knock, knock" and she was giving me the saddest face ever when nothing happened.
  • thirtyandthriving
    thirtyandthriving Posts: 613 Member
    "I'm not your father."

    tee hee
  • irisheyez718
    irisheyez718 Posts: 677 Member
    Hey, my Mom had me believing I could lay an egg until I was 5 or 6. I always wondered why, when we visited my grandmother's farm, I lay brown eggs, instead of white. :ohwell:
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    the true identity of the father...

    no jk :)

    i am guilty of the santa, tooth fairy, easter bunny lie. she just believed it and i didnt deny it! shame on me!

    Don't be ashamed. My "I still believe in Santa" years were great :)
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    Just Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Outside of that, I tell them the truth. I also never promise them anything and not follow up. If it's something I might not be able to do, I don't promise. If kids can't trust their own parents, who can they trust?
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    OK, What's the Bellison lie?
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    Every year on my birthday, I told both my children that I was 29. My son (the older one) never questioned it. Finally, last year when my son was 14 and my daughter was 8, she took it upon herself to do some quick calculations. She proclaimed, "Mommy, you had Evan when you were 15 years old?!?!?!?" OMG, I could imagine that little tidbit being spread through her school like wildfire. "Pssst, did you hear that Alex's mother got pregnant at 15?" :ohwell: I told the kids the truth on the spot.

    When I took my then 4 year old son to Disney World, he was soooooooo into Buzz Lightyear. We rode the Buzz Lightyear ride probably 20 times. It's a little slow ride and you have a laser gun on your car to shoot at targets. You are given a score readout on the ride. Of course, as you exit the ride, there is an area where they sell Toy Story paraphenalia. So while my son was oogling various stuff, I bought an "official" Buzz Lightyear High Score Identification card and had a little conversation with the store clerk. A few moments later, he "found" my son in the store, asked him if his name was "Evan LastName," and presented him with the High Score ID card, as instructed by Buzz Lightyear himself! You should have seen Evan's face!
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
    I can't think of many other than santa/tooth fairy/etc. But for some reason whenever my dad farted he blamed it on bull moose. I'm not sure where that even came from???
  • surfrgrl1
    surfrgrl1 Posts: 1,464 Member
    Told my son early on that there was no Santa. We had a pact that the fact we knew this was just a secret between he and I, that the other kids didn't need to know about it.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    OK, What's the Bellison lie?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7TKxV5wwLA

    :D

    EDITED TO ADD: The premise of the movie is that Mark Bellison (played by Ricky Gervais) is the first person in human history to lie.
  • doinit4tayzie
    doinit4tayzie Posts: 107
    I tell my three yr old that veggies are gonna make her super strong nd as she eats em I go omg look at ur muscle its getting bigger!!! She also thinks pork and turkey are chicken. Horrible I know but shes a picky eater. Also not a lie but too get her too eat her peas nd green beans we call em frog eyes nd legs. Shes knows they r not legs and eyes, she gets a kick outta it tho.
  • Unwrapping_Candy
    Unwrapping_Candy Posts: 487 Member
    OK, What's the Bellison lie?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7TKxV5wwLA

    :D

    EDITED TO ADD: The premise of the movie is that Mark Bellison (played by Ricky Gervais) is the first person in human history to lie.

    This is the clip I was referencing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0c_-I2cLbo&feature=related Cheers! :D LOL
  • sonic_the_cat
    sonic_the_cat Posts: 58 Member
    About four years ago, my son came down with the flu the day after we'd eaten at our favorite pizza place. Of course, he was convinced the pizza made him sick. So now we tell him we order pizza from "that new place downtown". Lucky for us they have plain pizza boxes. He still hasn't figured out it's the same pizza we've been eating for like the last ten years! We even changed the name of the pizza place in our cell phones :laugh:
  • sonic_the_cat
    sonic_the_cat Posts: 58 Member
    About four years ago, my son came down with the flu the day after we'd eaten at our favorite pizza place. Of course, he was convinced the pizza made him sick. So now we tell him we order pizza from "that new place downtown". Lucky for us they have plain pizza boxes. He still hasn't figured out it's the same pizza we've been eating for like the last ten years! We even changed the name of the pizza place in our cell phones :laugh:

    Oh, yeah I almost forgot that my husband used to tell the kids that chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows. And chocolate ice cream comes from chocolate cows from Alaska :happy:
  • Jennyisbusy
    Jennyisbusy Posts: 1,294 Member
    My mom told us she was 29 (like all women). . . when she obviously wasn't, and I defended her to all the neighborhood kids. I also was told I was 51% Irish, and only 49 percent German. Otherwise, just the normal stuff. Oh, except my grandma . . .she had a big pair of Santa Pants. When we would return to her house after church she would go in the house first, and come out holding the pants . . .she would tell us she saw Santa and tried to grab him, but he got away and she was still holding his pants. We were mortified!

    I am so running out to get a pair of Santa pants this season!!!!

    I do the holidays and we pull a gag a day on my kids but not outright lies - nah.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    I told two little kids that I know that if they don't clean their room, the "Scaries" will hide under their things and come out at night. They have clean rooms a lot now.

    i believe i will use this one! thanks
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
    The greatest lie my parents ever told me, if you play with it to much it will brake...HA showed them my spiderman collection is still in awesome condention. what you think I was talking about something else! get your mind out of the gutters! :drinker:
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