WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS?

abazooday727

Why do I continue to do this?

Last night after shopping with my husband for new pants, I was already feeling a bit fractious...( Shopping for clothes? You know that feeling.) I was walking toward the door with my two year old daughter. I saw this couple walk through the door. They point in my direction and look at me giggling. I feel this feeling of anger sweep over me. I turn around to see they are still looking and giggling...

I loudly say, "IS THERE A PROBLEM?!" Open ,mouth insert foot...

The couple in complete shock replied, "No ma'am! We are looking at your kid."

I felt so terribly bad...so bad I cried. Who was this person who snapped at these completely innocent people looking at my beautiful daughter(who has Flaming red Shirley Temple curls)? I don't know but I DO NOT like her...



Why did I just explode? To my BIT**y defense, there have been episode where people have pointed, laughed, and giggled at me...saying rude things loudly enough for me to hear...loudly enough for me to die a little inside...

moushtie

This is why, when I feel like someone may be being rude, I smile directly at them and say hello.

If they were being nice, then they smile and say hello back.

If they were being rude, then I either find out exactly how rude, or they suddenly realise they're talking to a real person and not some stereotype put there for their amusement, and look terribly embarrassed.

Either way, I don't let it spoil my day. They just have problems that aren't as visible as mine.

mkandrew

As a whole we are such a self-conscious society with low self esteem. It is far easier to believe something negative about yourself than to accept yourself or, God forbid, accept a compliment. I am guilty of this as well, and am trying hard to work on it. It is very difficult, especially if we have been hurt in the past, we expect the worst. My advice? If you want it...

1. I went through hypnosis to stop smoking (and it worked, been 18 months now) and my hypnotist had a mantra she made me repeat to myself everyday at least ten times: "Every day in every way, I get better and better". I still try to say this everyday, even if it's right before bed. I find myself smiling toward the tenth repetition and wanting to keep going. It's hard sometimes, but it's working.

2. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say Thank You!!!! No more self-deprecating remarks. If someone says "your hair looks nice today" smile and say thank you! No more "really? cuz I was just thinking it was time fore a cut." SMILE and say THANK YOU!

Keep your goals in your head and know that you will make it and that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Hope this helped a little!

(I too have red curls - your daughter is lucky

aliciagetshealthy

Please don't let this get you down. I decided a long time ago that the only people that can hurt me are people whos opinion matter to me. Good or bad, don't let a total stranger have the power to get you down.

achtracy

It's kinda crazy, but I think many of us probably feel very much the same way but hate to admit it. Good for you for admitting and recognizing it. My theory is that we never really know what's going on in a persons head when they look or stare. While you had one thing in mind, they said they had something different. You'll never really know but one thing is for certain. If their looking was directed at you and not at your daughter then I'm sure they will think before doing it next time. And you've learned too that you may not always be accurate at determining what's on peoples mind. Considering a life lesson and keep going with your chin up! God Loves YOU, no matter what others may say or think! :-)

slimkitty

This is why, when I feel like someone may be being rude, I smile directly at them and say hello.

If they were being nice, then they smile and say hello back.

If they were being rude, then I either find out exactly how rude, or they suddenly realise they're talking to a real person and not some stereotype put there for their amusement, and look terribly embarrassed.

Either way, I don't let it spoil my day. They just have problems that aren't as visible as mine.

I like this.

cominupmilhouse

It's just how warped our minds get about all this stuff sometimes, especially during stressful or uncomfortable situations, like shopping for clothes. It's hard for people to comprehend how preoccupied we are with our own self image. It's in our heads all day long nagging and reminding us that we're not good enough for things like clothes and beauty. This is a perfect example of being our own worst enemy. It wasn't the people in the store that were judging you, it was you judging yourself. I do this to myself constantly and I know it's much much worse than negativity coming from other people, you can't escape yourself!

There are of course people out there who do point and laugh, but they've got their own issues with themselves, they are even worse off than you because if they're insecure enough to be that superficial then just imagine how hard it is for them to be happy with their own image. At the end of the day you get to walk away from them forever, but theyre stuck battling whatever that wickedness is inside their head until they find the source, which sometimes never happens.

It takes a long time to learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally, but that's the true root of the problem here, not other people. I used to strongly resent anyone who said anything negative about me, but I realized that was only because deep down, I let a part of me believe what they said was true. It's not true. You are entitled to love and happiness and peace of mind and I hope you find them all.