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Dog Food Diet - it's all the rage

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dandur
dandur Posts: 267 Member
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the foods nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *kitten* and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.


Yeah, I know it's an oldie...but it's a goodie.

Replies

  • chrikoko12202007
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    bahahaha
  • kristennwinter
    kristennwinter Posts: 100 Member
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    I've never heard that one before!!! That's hilarious!!
  • Troy67
    Troy67 Posts: 556 Member
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    That's freakin' hilarious.
  • lookitscaitlin
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    XD hahhahahhaa i would love to answer stupid questions with that kind of answer!
  • Chastityx
    Chastityx Posts: 192 Member
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    thanks-Ineeded a laugh
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sdrabor
    sdrabor Posts: 34 Member
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    :)
  • ZumbaLin
    ZumbaLin Posts: 87 Member
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    What a hoot!!!
  • martiii_cat
    martiii_cat Posts: 15 Member
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    too funny!
  • future_hottie
    future_hottie Posts: 14 Member
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    LOL LOL I almost peed my pants laughing at this one. I Love it =]
  • pink59eldo
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    lol that is awesome! I've never heard of that before :)
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
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    LMAO!! i can only imagine the looks on their faces hahaha
  • Unwrapping_Candy
    Unwrapping_Candy Posts: 487 Member
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    128858556926946351.jpg

    hahahahahaahhaahahhaaaaaaaahahhaa~!!!~!~!~~!
  • LisaKyle11
    LisaKyle11 Posts: 662 Member
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    LOL! wow
  • amfeierabend74
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    Omg! I love giving off the wall answers to obvious questions!
  • NicoWoodruff
    NicoWoodruff Posts: 369 Member
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    I heard this joke a couple of years ago and thought it was so funny.. only I heard the punchline a little different of

    "I was just trying to walk across the parking lot, stopped for a minute to lick my butt and some lady ran me over!" :laugh:

    (Also, I have cats so I've told it as the "cat food diet" so that people are more convinced at the beginning that I'm telling a true story.)

    What cracks me up about this joke is the number of people who would probably believe there was such a diet and would start carrying around a hand full of cat or dog chow if you didn't make it clear that it's JUST A JOKE!!! :noway: :laugh:

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