love question

pain_is_weakness

Is it possible to fall out of love with somebody. i know many people say if you fall out of love then it must have only been lust but I know many people, my parents and my husbands parents included that were together for 25+ years and then slowly drifted "out of love" as they put it. Tell me what you guys think?

TrishJimenez

I think if you spend a long enough time not liking someone eventually you won't love someone anymore

Unwrapping_Candy

Scientifically speaking it's likely to occur in any relationship because "love" is nothing but a complex set of chemical variables acting in a specific way in the brain when with or thinking of another person, but these chemical variables often change over time and though the new chemical arrangement may allow for intense attraction or lust the "love" often diminishes or disappears.

deathstarclock

I believe in a thing called love, just listen tto the rhythm of the heart.

paxetamore

completely possible... and not necessarily a bad thing... sometimes love morphs into a more mature companionship mode. the lust-fulness may subside but a more stable and mutually appreciative relationship could result. or not.

branflake5

I think people continue to grow even as adults and sometimes u grow apart u may still love the person but just not be "in love" anymore. I think staying in love takes a love that stays exciting and passionate... it takes some work really, can't get stuck in the routine of a relationship.

_David_

Scientifically speaking it's likely to occur in any relationship because "love" is nothing but a complex set of chemical variables acting in a specific way in the brain when with or thinking of another person, but these chemical variables often change over time and though the new chemical arrangement may allow for intense attraction or lust the "love" often diminishes or disappears.

Damn, well said. Falling out of love can and dies happen all the time.

WifeNMama

The feeling of love may change or fade, but the verb love is a choice to show someone you care for their wellbeing, and acknowledhe their needs as valid.

Fnarkk

Absolutely. My wife and I have been married 11+ years and we have fallen in and out of love with each other many times. Throughout history, (I am so sorry.. I am going to get long-winded...) love was considered a madness that , thankfully, happened to few people and passed quickly. This was why it was important to establish either a friendship or at least a working relationship with your partner (role relations?). The question in modern times falls along the lines of communication and compromise without total capitulation. ----The whole 'I am in love with you but not IN LOVE with you.' is basically a cop-out due to lack of communication and effort on either (or both) of the partners. Best way that I we have found is to try to bring back romance (no, not just sex); extremely hard with 4 kids. Oh, and sometimes just trying to be romantic to HER has made it easier for ME. [Though let me tell you, it ain't easy. Hardest damn thing I have done in my life.] Good luck.

_Ben

Its totally possible. Thats why its important to spice things up, find things that make you truely cherish one another.

i_love_vinegar

i fell out of love with my ex~we were together ~3 years so...

i think it is possible!!

Iamfit4life

Totally possible. Life throws a lot of crap your way. I think a couple can either grow together of grow apart.

Once you start growing apart if action isn't taken to get on the same page...
You're out of love.

Atleast I've seen this in my life.

PBJunkie

Is it possible to fall out of love with somebody. i know many people say if you fall out of love then it must have only been lust but I know many people, my parents and my husbands parents included that were together for 25+ years and then slowly drifted "out of love" as they put it. Tell me what you guys think?

It takes one fart and then you will never look at her the same again :sick:

Legalchica

yes its possible...... I married young... like 18 and people change... especially from that age...

writtenINthestars

Bump. I have nothing to add but am struggling with this myself so curious to see everyones opinions.

rml_16

Of course it's possible. We grow and change over the years and what and who we loved at one time might not be what we want later.

I also think that over a long-term relationship, people fall in and out of love all the time. You may go years being gaga over someone, then not so much for a while and then gaga again. If you're committed, you get through the non-gaga times.

myofibril

Of course it's possible. We grow and change over the years and what and who we loved at one time might not be what we want later.

I think that's exactly the point. I think love can stay alive and strong if people grow and change together but will falter if people grow and change apart.

You can't force a person to change (they can only do that willingly themselves) but when they do (and they will do) if you are not on the same wavelength or can adapt to it your relationship will suffer.

Iamfit4life

Of course it's possible. We grow and change over the years and what and who we loved at one time might not be what we want later.

I think that's exactly the point. I think love can stay alive and strong if people grow and change together but will falter if people grow and change apart.

You can't force a person to change (they can only do that willingly themselves) but when they do (and they will do) if you are not on the same wavelength or can adapt to it your relationship will suffer.

Yup yup

TheRoadDog

My favorite garbage blurb = "I love him/her, but I'm not "in love".

I guess if you think you love someone, then you love them. Afterall, it's not a physical manifestation. It's a thought. An idea.

Unfortunately, in a lot of cases, people don't fall out of love with a person, they fall in love with another person. That's why, with rare exceptions, people shouldn't get married so young. They should wait until they are mature enough, established, developed mentally and emotionally to make a life long commitment.

Love is not for the weak. It takes commitment.

rml_16

My favorite garbage blurb = "I love him/her, but I'm not "in love".

I guess if you think you love someone, then you love them. Afterall, it's not a physical manifestation. It's a thought. An idea.

Unfortunately, in a lot of cases, people don't fall out of love with a person, they fall in love with another person. That's why, with rare exceptions, people shouldn't get married so young. They should wait until they are mature enough, established, developed mentally and emotionally to make a life long commitment.

Love is not for the weak. It takes commitment.

So, basically, if you want to end a relationship, there must be someone else?

Sorry, but I'm going through some stuff right now and that TOTALLY rubs me the wrong way and is such a man thing to say. I'm having MAJOR relationship problems right now and because of years of living with someone who drinks too much and treats me as an afterthought, I've pretty much fallen out of love. And, no, I haven't fallen in love with someone else.

It's entirely possible to grow apart from the person you're with and not have another person on the side.

Captain_Mal

I think it's human nature to fall in and out of love with people in the duration of a life.

ohdearlaura

I believe in a thing called love, just listen tto the rhythm of the heart.

lolololol yayyy!