MFP Friendships

claire_xox
claire_xox Posts: 282 Member
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
So I adore some of the friends/support I have on this site.
Most are complete strangers to me and they are so lovely!

But I also have people added as friends I don't talk to.

Once a month or so I look through the list and if they haven't logged in for a few weeks I'll delete them.
I also tend to delete people that seem to just be completely out of sync with me.

I think due to my lowish weight compared to others I get a lot of people that are pro ana mia which I'm not, and don't really like those updates either...

In saying that I feel guilty, but I'm here for support and if I feel you're unsupportive then that's it (never mean! just not the support I'm looking for)

If everyone was the same I wouldn't have any friends because sometimes I do things that I would delete myself for, so I'm thankful not everyone does! So tell me do you have criteria? What is it? What makes you press decline or remove?

I will add everyone that sends a request though.

Replies

  • vking713
    vking713 Posts: 15 Member
    I have to agree with you. What good is it to have a friend that doesn't communicate or support you? I don't add people just for the sake of adding them. I add someone to give them support And hopefully receive support and advice in return. Good luck in your journey and I hope there aren't too many obstacles that stand in your way of reaching your goal.
  • holmesd450
    holmesd450 Posts: 20 Member
    Update statuses, some people just post some really weird stuff that just seems really lame. Also, if I haven't talked to them in a while I just delete them.
  • I agree! It's also difficult with people who have a lot more weight to lose than you who can afford to eat many more calories and will still lose heaps more weight! On and they seem to burn off more calories doing the same amount of exercise as me... so disheartening!
  • SetecAstronomy
    SetecAstronomy Posts: 470 Member
    So I adore some of the friends/support I have on this site.
    Most are complete strangers to me and they are so lovely!

    But I also have people added as friends I don't talk to.

    Once a month or so I look through the list and if they haven't logged in for a few weeks I'll delete them.
    I also tend to delete people that seem to just be completely out of sync with me.

    I think due to my lowish weight compared to others I get a lot of people that are pro ana mia which I'm not, and don't really like those updates either...

    In saying that I feel guilty, but I'm here for support and if I feel you're unsupportive then that's it (never mean! just not the support I'm looking for)

    If everyone was the same I wouldn't have any friends because sometimes I do things that I would delete myself for, so I'm thankful not everyone does! So tell me do you have criteria? What is it? What makes you press decline or remove?

    I will add everyone that sends a request though.
    I don't delete anyone that I can recall. People either delete me or remove themselves from the site. I obviously have no control over that and there's no love lost if that happens (although I am a bit sad about one person that I cannot find anymore).

    I try to be supportive but I'm not on here 24/7 and I've got friends from all over the world. I try to add comments and respond to forum postings in the morning and at night. But I know not everyone has the same goals I do; we're all unique in our own ways.
  • PBJunkie
    PBJunkie Posts: 652
    Interesting thread...looking forward to all the responses.

    I'm not really using the site for what it is intended for, but I'm here to share my knowledge and experience with others in reaching their goals. I'm always there to help people and even willing to give my email and hold their hand if it need be, health and the knowledge thereof should be free and be shared amongst others. I still have a lot to learn so I tend to friend people that I find interesting and have some info to share =P

    Some of my friends are close and others not so much, but I will take the effort in getting to know them and connect on a more personal level.
  • i like to support people and be supported,
    people who open their diaries,( how can you support people if you don't know what their doing),
    if i want to friend people i will look to see how many friends they have already got, if there is a lot then i don't friend them, i personally don't think you can support lots of friends or get to know them , you would never be off of the computer.

    i do delete people
  • jbdowns35
    jbdowns35 Posts: 352
    I keep my friends limited, hard to be supportive of 500 people!! Occassionally I check my friend list & if someone hasn't logged on for a long time, I send them a message, encourage them to come back. If after a month or so, they don't show up, I delete them. Sorry, I tried.
  • claire_xox
    claire_xox Posts: 282 Member
    Interesting thread...looking forward to all the responses.

    I'm not really using the site for what it is intended for, but I'm here to share my knowledge and experience with others in reaching their goals. I'm always there to help people and even willing to give my email and hold their hand if it need be, health and the knowledge thereof should be free and be shared amongst others. I still have a lot to learn so I tend to friend people that I find interesting and have some info to share =P

    Some of my friends are close and others not so much, but I will take the effort in getting to know them and connect on a more personal level.

    The famous PB Junkie! Never noticed you around the forums but there was quite an uproar about you yesterday.

    I love that every response so far has been different. It's a good that people are here to offer different things and looking to recieve different things
  • PBJunkie
    PBJunkie Posts: 652
    Interesting thread...looking forward to all the responses.

    I'm not really using the site for what it is intended for, but I'm here to share my knowledge and experience with others in reaching their goals. I'm always there to help people and even willing to give my email and hold their hand if it need be, health and the knowledge thereof should be free and be shared amongst others. I still have a lot to learn so I tend to friend people that I find interesting and have some info to share =P

    Some of my friends are close and others not so much, but I will take the effort in getting to know them and connect on a more personal level.

    The famous PB Junkie! Never noticed you around the forums but there was quite an uproar about you yesterday.

    I love that every response so far has been different. It's a good that people are here to offer different things and looking to recieve different things

    I avoid crazies at all costs...
  • cofakid
    cofakid Posts: 213 Member
    i've only just started adding any friends today, ive added 4 ppl and i want to keep to a fairly small number. that way i can give and get support, reallly see people reach their goals and hopefully get motivation from that. i declined one person who had a lot of friends, because i dont think u can really support other ppl with 50+ friends. i added some ppl who seem to be similar to me, whether it be in the goal weight, how much they want to loose, age group etc. i add some very new ppl, because i thought since im pretty new to it too being at the same level u'll be able to help each other alot as u progress. someone with more experience would be great help to me, but i think someone who is also in the early stages is someone i can help and who can help me. i find when i talk to others eg partner, family, and encourage them, i feel more motivated so thats sorta wat im looking for. and starting together ur likely to deal with the same problems so you can find solutions together/share....
  • Chrissieneave
    Chrissieneave Posts: 99 Member
    So I adore some of the friends/support I have on this site.
    Most are complete strangers to me and they are so lovely!

    But I also have people added as friends I don't talk to.

    Once a month or so I look through the list and if they haven't logged in for a few weeks I'll delete them.
    I also tend to delete people that seem to just be completely out of sync with me.

    I think due to my lowish weight compared to others I get a lot of people that are pro ana mia which I'm not, and don't really like those updates either...

    In saying that I feel guilty, but I'm here for support and if I feel you're unsupportive then that's it (never mean! just not the support I'm looking for)

    If everyone was the same I wouldn't have any friends because sometimes I do things that I would delete myself for, so I'm thankful not everyone does! So tell me do you have criteria? What is it? What makes you press decline or remove?

    I will add everyone that sends a request though.

    I must admit, i have deleted people just recently who have not logged in for a while.

    There are only a selective few also on my friends that actually interact with me on my diary, exercise that i log etc.

    I only interact with the few that support me, and i always give support back to them. I can honestly say, that without MFP i would have failed, there are so many people here who are an inspiration to others that it keeps you motivated :)
  • jbdowns35
    jbdowns35 Posts: 352
    I keep my friends limited, hard to be supportive of 500 people!! Occassionally I check my friend list & if someone hasn't logged on for a long time, I send them a message, encourage them to come back. If after a month or so, they don't show up, I delete them. Sorry, I tried.

    So - guess what! I sent 3 of my friends "Hello? Where are you" messages today after I noticed they hadn't been logged on for a few weeks. I figured if I don't hear from them in a week or so, I'd delete them. Well, I heard back from one & was delighted to know that she is doing well, is stiill eating good & exercising, just hasn't been on due to being involved in life's stuff. But, I then noticed she logged her exercise for the day & it looks like she might get back into the MFP circle.

    I keep a small circle of friends & I'm proud to say that almost all of them log on every day. My friends are awesome.
  • jbdowns35
    jbdowns35 Posts: 352
    I keep my friends limited, hard to be supportive of 500 people!! Occassionally I check my friend list & if someone hasn't logged on for a long time, I send them a message, encourage them to come back. If after a month or so, they don't show up, I delete them. Sorry, I tried.

    So - guess what! I sent 3 of my friends "Hello? Where are you" messages today after I noticed they hadn't been logged on for a few weeks. I figured if I don't hear from them in a week or so, I'd delete them. Well, I heard back from one & was delighted to know that she is doing well, is stiill eating good & exercising, just hasn't been on due to being involved in life's stuff. But, I then noticed she logged her exercise for the day & it looks like she might get back into the MFP circle.

    I keep a small circle of friends & I'm proud to say that almost all of them log on every day. My friends are awesome.

    I just got another one to log back on today!!! That's 2 outta 3!!! Don't know if she'll stick with us, having some motivation problems. We all know what that's like!!
This discussion has been closed.