My kids Stress me out

rockabillymama

Hi, I have two daughters, one is 7 almost 8 the other is almost 2. My 7 year old is not my husband's and has to go to her real dad's every other weekend. He and I differ very much on punishment and lifestyle. I think that it's confusing her, but she doesn;t really talk about it. She's a bully and very controlling, has trouble in school. At home she gets very mad easily and lashes out, doesn;t like doing chores and that's to be expected because she's 7. When I get stressed out about her, or about anything really I eat. I will shovel food in my mouth while my brain is busy trying to figure out situations. If i have no food on hand, I'll even bite my fingernails. does anyone have any advice for stress eating...or destressing?

It's not all my older daughter either, I suppose I make excuses for my younger daughter because she really can't logically think about her actions. So i want to apologize for making it all sound like it's my older daughter. My younger daughter is very clingy (which she never was before) and destructive.

lnorwood81

When my kids stress me out, I put in a workout DVD and sweat out my frustration! Instead of eating or biting your nails, try writing down your feelings, putting your youngest in stroller and going for a walk, take a timeout for yourself...just stay busy!

dlaplume2

sometime walking away is the best thing to do. Maybe you could go for a walk to clear your head. Put your younger one in a stroller and if you can leave your seven year old home. (obviously not alone) if that is not possible you could go into another room and do some other execises. It will relieve tension as well as distract you from eating.

One other thing you should look into is seeing if there is a counselor at school she can talk to. She might be having trouble adjusting to all the changes in her life and just needs an outlet herself. It's hard being 7 in a new class at school, with a new group of kids. Not living with and seeing her dad everyday, having a sister that needs all of moms attention and her sister gets to see her dad everyday. Not everything is new, her little sister is almost 2, but the novelty of a little sister has probably worn off by now. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

I wish you the best of luck. It is hard peicing families together in a way that works for everyone.
:flowerforyou:

RockAShelley

WE ARE TOTALLY IN THE SAME BOAT!!! the only difference is that i have 2 sons(5 and 6yrs) and they both belong to my Ex husband. When I know his weekend is coming i start stressing by wens, i get edgy, irritable, anxious and of course i eat whatever i can get my hands on to try to distract myself from thinking about it. Ive spent the last 2 years doing this, i wish i had some advice for you but im going to follow your post in hopes that maybe there will be something i can use too!

sandislim

I have quite a few family problems that stress me out. I would do exactly the same thing as you - no matter what the problem was I ate everything to think things through. I realised later that I actually ate to both cover my feelings and as frustration of not being able to voice my opinions. I have tried to tackle this problem by controlling my diet on one hand, but on the other I've been trying to become a bit more selfish and give myself permission to get upset about things and voice my opinions and perspective. It's been hard to accept that I have a right to be happy also and people can't walk all over me all of the time. Its been hard to do and sometimes I feel terrible about what I've said, even though I know I was right at the time.

I'm not sure if this helps but it helped me.

Summerleahd

I know how you feel. I have a two year old and a 9 month old. I also stay home with them so I don't ever get a break and im still breastfeeding the baby so I don't get to go out long even when I get the chance. I find that when I start to get stressed I go right for the bad stuff or I'll start taking it out on my boyfriend (which isn't fair to him) I honestly have no idea how to deal with. I think if you recognize the problem, then that's a start and when you catch yourself starting to do those things ask yourself "is this really going ti make me feel better? How will I feel tomorrow about this?)" I've been trying that recently and it helps sometimes. I've also started chewing gum, so when I get stressed and head for the food I'll try a peice of gum first and that usually helps.