UGH.......my mother in law

boomboom011

if thats the worst you have to deal with your mother in law then consider yourself lucky.
i would agree with the other poster that said "just throw it in the trash"

We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

I would never jeopardize the health of my child to keep my MIL happy. Never. Along with his health, you're teaching your children to not stand up for themselves and their needs if you allow this behavior to continue.

i totally agree but here is my issue. My own father continues to take my daughter to buffets and feeds her junk and crap evertime she is at his house. Now, i have asked him time and time again that he needs to offer her healthier options and if that was a problem i would send things to his house with her. Slowly but surely he is listening. It helps that my daughter is being educated about healthier eating. It wasnt always like this. But thanks to people here on these forums i was ready to rip my dad a new *kitten* for feeding my kid junk. They pointed out the fact that she goes over there maybe 2-3 times a month. I had to realize its not that big of a deal. it would be if it was constantly.

So, i just have a hard time with cutting her out of the kiddos life. Educate her until you are blue in the face. OP didnt say anything about this being a bad MIL.

Good luck OP. I think she loves your kids and will eventually get the picture.

techymum

I'm just here to say I'm sorry that you have this battle. I had/have my own battles with my mil regarding my children when they were small (no, they can't sleep in the crib you have saved that my husband slept in; please put away the chemicals under your sink; no, I would prefer you didn't pack them in your car and take them to your friends as I have ridden with you and we almost got clobbered by a firetruck because you don't drive very well).

Unfortunately today she is a very weak, little old lady, and I have issues with what she did to me over the years.

Hold your ground, and also hold your head high - these are your children and you know best.

Good luck.

neveradullmoment

As someone with ADHD who was on that restricted diet, I cannot stress enough how important it is to let a child have occassional lapses! Seriously! You may think your doing the best thing by enforcing a total rtetriction, and medically speaking, you are, but psychologically? You have no idea how this is going to affect your son. And I for one agree with your MIL. If I had been allowed controlled slips then I would not have the phobia that I do now.

I do allow him sweets, BUT in moderation. I know that it is not fair to restrict him ALL of the time and I DONT do that.

BUT my MIL fills him up on sweets the entire time he is with her.

karenjoy

what is with this whole 'well that's what Grandma's do' crap? I am going to be a glam ma in April, I will NOT be feeding my Grandbaby rubbish, I didn't feed my own children this sort of thing, I don't have sweets (candy) or cakes and biscuits (cookies) in my house, my Daugher had two step children and when they come here, they get tomatoes and cucumber as a treat and we do colouring and play board games, they LOVE coming here, they LOVE that they get stories and do hands on things, their other 'grandparents' have a bowl of sweets on the table, this WILL NEVER HAPPEN in this house.,

My son has ADHD and whilst diet had an impact on his behaviour, management was the main method I used and he is now 19 and doing very well indeed, so don't obsess too much, just be firm with him. My daughter is Dyslexic and dyslexic and is not in her third year of University training to be a nurse, life has not been easy for her, or my Son, but I have never looked on it as a disability, just a reason to try harder. x

Good luck with your MIL, this is something I think your Husband needs to deal with, it's his Mother after all .

maidentl

I'm a grandma and I am speaking from experience....if your grandchildren have a problem you DON'T do things that will make their condition worse. It sounds to me like she needs to be told again and again, and by your husband, not you, unless she still refuses to listen. It is not fair to the boys to be put in that position. Shame on her.

A grandma with some sense! And I totally agree. My MIL tended to not pay me much mind. Get your husband to talk to her. I do feel your pain. My kids don't have issues with sugar but my MIL would send home HUGE quantities of candy with them. I'd just put it away or toss it when they weren't paying attention (she would buy things on sale and hold on to it for them so it was often out of date)

rockerbabyy

my mother in law lives with us and we had a similar problem 2 years ago when i cut hfcs and artificial colors out of my kids diet. the artificial colors just make them crazy and i was done with that. they were allowed to go into gramma n grampas room and get treats once a day or so..and i had told her that they cant have those things. every so often theyd come out with m&ms, candy corn etc. my husband and i both reminded her many times over several months ..even suggested different things they COULD have (which was stuff she bought for herself anyway). it ended in a huge blow-out fight and shes not allowed to give my kids treats any more *shrug* at one point she told my husband it was too hard to read labels...well, she saw the difference in the kids when they had artificial colors vs when they didnt. but her and FiL still insist its not the artificial colors. its just kids being kids and good/bad days. *sigh*

livnlite

I have 2 boys both with different learning disabilities. My youngest has dyslexia and my oldest has ADHD, which is pretty bad. I limit the sugar and caffeine that my oldest son has because he just cant handle it. It has taken him a while to get used to NOT being able to have all of the sweets that others have but he is ok with it, most of the time, because he knows that his body just does not do well with it.
Anyway so yesterday my boys were at my mother in laws, which she lives 2 houses away from me. When my boys came home yesterday evening she sent my oldest son home with 2 BIG pieces of German Chocolate cake!!!!! I was like WTH!!!!!
It is so frustrating because both my husband and myself have told her NUMEROUS times DO NOT give him that stuff, he can NOT have it and she still continues to give him that crap! I just wish that she would listen to us!

I wonder if you might be able to offer some information about these two disabilities, so she can fully understand the scientific aspect of their needs. She may not believe what you have told her. She may very well have the impression that you are being an over protective parent, or something to that affect. Perhaps she has no idea how serious these disabilities are, and is trying to do what any grandma would do, lavish them with yummies. Her heart may be in the right place, it's her comprehension of their conditions that she is lacking.

Offer her a book, or some literature about the topic .. so to keep her in the loop.

deeharley

My oldest is 10. He does really good for the most part understanding that he shouldnt have the sweets, but lets face it sometimes it is hard to tell him no. Like at birthday parties. When he has too much sugar he will have a complete melt down when he is coming off of the sugar high. He will lay on the floor and kick and scream and then begin to cry! It breaks my heart to see him like that. His poor body just cant handle the sugar. I have tried to explain to my mother in law it is like giving sugar to a diabetic. She still doesnt seem to get it. I do throw away the sweets when the boys bring them home but I feel bad.

Has she ever SEEN his reaction? If not, the next time he goes through one, record it and show it to her. Tell her, this is what you put him through every time you give him that much sugar. Then, delete the evidence - for your son's sake.