I'm a product of my mom's childhood

memaw66

I think part of the reason that I became so addicted to food is due to my mom's childhood. Let me clarify this. My mom grew up in the1940-50's before food stamps and welfare. She was the oldest of 7 children and her father died when she was 14. So she had to quit school to help care for the little ones and her mother wasn't around much. They didn't have much and any thing beyond beans and rice was such a luxury to them. Then when she and my dad got together they were a young struggling couple. My dad used to say that for dinner one night they would have beans/rice and the next night it was rice/beans! So as they started doing better and were better off money wise, it was very important to both of them to keep the cuppoards and fridge stocked with food. I have never had to go hungry. Going out to eat was always my mom's way to reward for something done well. She always made big dinners of meat, starch, and veggie , butter bread and all the fixins. I think this was because she was hungry so much of her younger years that she didn't want us to grow up that way. I am in no way blaming my mother for my current situation but I can see how food became such a habit and comfort for me, (along with some other issues I experienced as a kid). This cycled continued with my children. I am trying so hard to break the cycle, but I have 42 year of reversal to do!!!!

Does any of this make sense?

Memaw

memaw66

I think part of the reason that I became so addicted to food is due to my mom's childhood. Let me clarify this. My mom grew up in the1940-50's before food stamps and welfare. She was the oldest of 7 children and her father died when she was 14. So she had to quit school to help care for the little ones and her mother wasn't around much. They didn't have much and any thing beyond beans and rice was such a luxury to them. Then when she and my dad got together they were a young struggling couple. My dad used to say that for dinner one night they would have beans/rice and the next night it was rice/beans! So as they started doing better and were better off money wise, it was very important to both of them to keep the cuppoards and fridge stocked with food. I have never had to go hungry. Going out to eat was always my mom's way to reward for something done well. She always made big dinners of meat, starch, and veggie , butter bread and all the fixins. I think this was because she was hungry so much of her younger years that she didn't want us to grow up that way. I am in no way blaming my mother for my current situation but I can see how food became such a habit and comfort for me, (along with some other issues I experienced as a kid). This cycled continued with my children. I am trying so hard to break the cycle, but I have 42 year of reversal to do!!!!

Does any of this make sense?

Memaw

LuckyLeprechaun

Makes perfect sense to me. My mom had a hungry childhood too, there were five kids, and her father would take both breasts from the chicken, he would give both thighs to the one boy, and the mom, and four girls had to split up the rest of the chicken amongst themselves. My mom will still cry when she tells about her mother claiming that the back was her favorite piece(so her kids would get more meaty pieces). In response to this, my mother has a pantry that rivals a supermarket. Two fridge/freezers, one deep freeze, one conventional cupboard pantry, a walk-in closet pantries, and one pantry in the garage that runs the entire length of the garage, covered in shelving from floor to ceiling. She didn't overfeed us, I was a really healthy kid and so were my brother and sister, but we always had a huge abundance of food. (I should say in her defense that she also runs a licensed daycare in our home, so we do need a lot more food than most families)

mommachag

I think part of the reason that I became so addicted to food is due to my mom's childhood. Let me clarify this. My mom grew up in the1940-50's before food stamps and welfare. She was the oldest of 7 children and her father died when she was 14. So she had to quit school to help care for the little ones and her mother wasn't around much. They didn't have much and any thing beyond beans and rice was such a luxury to them. Then when she and my dad got together they were a young struggling couple. My dad used to say that for dinner one night they would have beans/rice and the next night it was rice/beans! So as they started doing better and were better off money wise, it was very important to both of them to keep the cuppoards and fridge stocked with food. I have never had to go hungry. Going out to eat was always my mom's way to reward for something done well. She always made big dinners of meat, starch, and veggie , butter bread and all the fixins. I think this was because she was hungry so much of her younger years that she didn't want us to grow up that way. I am in no way blaming my mother for my current situation but I can see how food became such a habit and comfort for me, (along with some other issues I experienced as a kid). This cycled continued with my children. I am trying so hard to break the cycle, but I have 42 year of reversal to do!!!!

Does any of this make sense?

Memaw

'

it does make a lot of sense. I know some of my food issues come from my mother and how she was raised and as a result how she raised us. I am my own person and I don't blame anyone but myself but I know food became something other than nurishment for my body somewhere along the line

WISHFULTHINKING

WOW
THAT MAKES SINCE TO ME. I CAN SEE
AND UNDERSTAND WHAT UR TRYING TO SAY.

amycakes812

This makes perfect sense. I think it is wonderful that you realize where your food issues lie and can work forward to correct them. :flowerforyou:

TRLTAMPA

Thanks for sharing. I fall into this same trap. Mom grew up dirt poor. They lived on a farm but had to sell pretty much everything they produced so they still went hungry. When I was growing up we were still poor. We ate plenty of government cheese before my mom met my step dad. Even then we didn't have the luxury of going out to eat, unless it was a quick drive up at McDonalds.
So now that I have kids, I make sure the house is full of food and I'm always treating them to ice cream and other naughty wonderful treats. I also use restaurants as a reward. I figure if I'm gonna pay to eat out, we're gonna go eat....I don't really do much drive-thrus. I've had to change the way I look at food so I can break the cycle and not have my kids writing similar posts in 20 years.

heather0mc

makes sense.
i had the opposite in a way. my dad didnt want 'fat kids' so we had to eat pretty healthy and boring. when i got older, i started to try new things and more things and didnt really have an issue with weight. but as i got older and my lifestyle changed (ex: career changed from 10 hours on my feet per day to 8 hours on my butt!) i didnt change my bad eating habits. wha-la! now i need to loose a good 25-30 pounds. :grumble:
this site is AWESOME though and i can wait to fit into my old jeans again.

tashjs21

My Dad was a member of the clean plate club...I had to eat every morsel even if I wasn't hungry and that mentatlity carried over into my adult life. Now, all these years later I can finally stop eating when I am full and leave food on my plate. :drinker:

TRLTAMPA

ahhh the clean plate club.....my dad was a card carrying member as well.... i remember many nights sitting at the table with cold peas staring at me

memaw66

My Dad was a member of the clean plate club...I had to eat every morsel even if I wasn't hungry and that mentatlity carried over into my adult life. Now, all these years later I can finally stop eating when I am full and leave food on my plate. :drinker:

Oh I forgot about that. My dad was the same way! And if there was something that I never tried before, he would make me try one bite at least. If I didn't like it, I didn't have to eat any more. He also had a rule that if you take it you have to eat it, so don't take more than you think you will eat. Well a little kid doesn't know how much they might eat, it just all looks so good, so I spent many evenings at the table for hours until all the food was gone!. I remember one time my dad kicked my butt literally because he thought I was throwing meat away, it was fat not meat!!!

LuckyLeprechaun

ditto to clean plate club- cold green beans- the worst food on earth- still won't eat them. And if you didn't finish in a reasonable amount of time, you were sent to bed, with the nasty green beans awaiting you for breakfast tomorrow- :grumble: :sick:

TRLTAMPA

I don't force my kids to eat stuff they don't like, but I do have a rule that they can't get 2nds of anything until they try everything else on the plate. But my kids trade food around the table so much that it all gets eaten anyway.

paulamma1

Good luck with your continued journey day by day. Rather than trying to reverse 42 years (which, I guess, you can't, as it's already happened), maybe look to the changes you make for your benefit and your family's.

I think it's HUGE for you to see and understand how and why. Good for you, that's a pretty brave thing to do. The examined life and all that.

:flowerforyou: