People that have moved for relationships....
Iamfit4life
Posts: 3,095 Member
How long did it take to find work?
Were you scared to leave friends and family behind?
Did you drag your feet or delay in any way?
Were you scared to leave friends and family behind?
Did you drag your feet or delay in any way?
0
Replies
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1 month
Yes, of course.
Nope.0 -
It took me about a month to find work. I was lucky enough to only work 3 days a week on the weekend and I only lived 3 hours away so I would drive down stay with my bro and work until I found work where I moved to. I was scared and excited. Remember you can always move back. How long have you been in the relationship?0
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Had the job before I moved
Of course it was hard, but sooooooo worth it
Not at all0 -
My husband moved in with me about an hour away from his childhood home when we first got married- he didn't have to switch jobs right away, but he did eventually- he is making new friedns at work, and has become much closer to the guys in my group of friends-
I was a military brat growing up- moving is hard, but you have to look at it as a new adveture- you will make friends if you just try- having a routine helps- for example, have coffee at the same bagel shop every Sunday- you will realize you are not the only one there every week, and strike up a conversation with the table next to you-
Good luck!!!0 -
I moved to the UK from Australia to be with my partner (I don't think you can actually move further away than that!!)
1. I was working through agencies at the time (I'm a registered dietitian) so I personally didn't have any trouble finding work, that said, see number 3 :P
2. Absolutely. But I knew it was at least worth the chance and now we are married. I still have days where I think about the sacrifice I made - I don't regret it at all but I do feel like I lost some relationships at home, but then maybe I never really had them to begin with?
3. I wouldn't say we dragged our feet (when we were deciding, we didn't know who should move) but we thought about the situation a lot and while we both really wanted to be together, we also knew that as new graduates we had little chance of achieving what we wanted from our careers if we moved before we got some experience in our fields. So we waited 2 years which is a long time to do the long distance thing. People often told me we weren't going to make it - especially since a lot of the time we didn't even have a plan of when we would next see each other in person. I don't regret it in the slightest though because now we are together, I think our time doing long distance made our relationship stronger (since we talked as opposed to going out, watching tv etc for literally 8 hours or more each day) and both of us are still able to benefit from our qualifications.0 -
It took me about a month to find work. I was lucky enough to only work 3 days a week on the weekend and I only lived 3 hours away so I would drive down stay with my bro and work until I found work where I moved to. I was scared and excited. Remember you can always move back. How long have you been in the relationship?
A year and half
It's him, he keeps insisting he isn't dragging his feet and that he's trying.0 -
I moved from England to California... I didn't work immediately I stayed home to take care of what would become my Step-Children.
Yes it was scary leaving behind family and friends but it was a great experience for me and even though the marriage ended in divorce 10 years later I wouldn't have traded that experience for anything.
However I am now back home in England and happy to be close to my family again.0 -
I have lived overseas for 16 years (the majority of my adult life). This coming summer, I am moving back to the states to be close to the most amazing guy I have ever met. I don't have a job yet...but will be working on that. I will also be closer to my family...which will be great as well.
Am I nervous about it? Hell yes! I love being an expat and feel quite comfortable being in different places. It's who I am. But this guy is something special...so I am going to give it a go and see if it works out. If not, I can always go back overseas.0 -
My ex husband and I both moved for the relationship. We went to the same high school and we both wanted to go back to school after we had already finished college (we are both fickle I guess lol). So he moved 2 hours from childhood home and I moved 8 hours from childhood home, after that year we met in the "middle" and have lived here ever since (almost 8 years). We are 3 hours from family but we like it here a lot. Even though we aren't together now, we'll probably always live here - just separately.0
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Hi Im Amber and I just moved for my relationship about 3 months ago. I found a job, that wasnt ideal, before moving. Even though it wasnt the type of job I wanted or the pay I wanted, it still make me feel more comfortable just having SOMETHING. After being here about 3 weeks I got another job offer that was what I was looking for. I accepted it and quit the other job.
Leaving my friends and family was the hardest part. It really tests your relationship. Being here has started a set of issues that didnt exhist when we were in our home town. Moving really makes you rely on the person your in the relationship with in a way that you may not be used to. Meaning, no friends or family around, no real job security yet, all you have is them. I really think it will make or break the relationship because if you both dont step up and give each other what you need during the difficult transition then the relationship prob isnt going to go much further.
I didnt drag *kitten* about comming here. I actually because really devoted to figuring out my plan for leaving. I was applying to school and jobs around the clock!0 -
It took me about a month to find work. I was lucky enough to only work 3 days a week on the weekend and I only lived 3 hours away so I would drive down stay with my bro and work until I found work where I moved to. I was scared and excited. Remember you can always move back. How long have you been in the relationship?
A year and half
It's him, he keeps insisting he isn't dragging his feet and that he's trying.
Uh-oh. How far did he move for you? Do you live in a metropolitan area? How long has he been "dragging his feet"? How old his he?
I know that's a lot of questions, but they all play a role.0 -
How long did it take to find work?
Were you scared to leave friends and family behind?
Did you drag your feet or delay in any way?
I found the job before I moved.
Yes, I was terrified. It was also very difficult on my relationship because, while we didn't live together, I was very dependent on him for entertainment. When I lived up north I was out in one city or another with friends every weekend. I'd leave DC and visit friends in Baltimore or Harrisburg almost every single weekend, and if I didn't it was because I had plans in DC. I never sat, then I moved and the first weekend rolled around and I got a lot of use out of my DVD player and I thought "WTF, I moved here to be alone?" So then I started demanding his time, which he wasn't used to (we'd been together living in DC and Detroit for 18 months), and it got harder and harder. I've been here for 8 years, I love it, and once I started to have a life of my own our relationship improved a good deal because I started meeting people and making friends. The trick is to join a gym, a club, get involved in organizations, put yourself out there to meet people with the same interests.0 -
It will be about 700 miles. Metropolitan area to another metropolitan area. Part of the problem is he loves his job and has an impressive title which he doesn't want downgraded for another position here. He's 27.It took me about a month to find work. I was lucky enough to only work 3 days a week on the weekend and I only lived 3 hours away so I would drive down stay with my bro and work until I found work where I moved to. I was scared and excited. Remember you can always move back. How long have you been in the relationship?
A year and half
It's him, he keeps insisting he isn't dragging his feet and that he's trying.
Uh-oh. How far did he move for you? Do you live in a metropolitan area? How long has he been "dragging his feet"? How old his he?
I know that's a lot of questions, but they all play a role.0 -
Leaving my friends and family was the hardest part. It really tests your relationship. Being here has started a set of issues that didnt exhist when we were in our home town. Moving really makes you rely on the person your in the relationship with in a way that you may not be used to. Meaning, no friends or family around, no real job security yet, all you have is them. I really think it will make or break the relationship because if you both dont step up and give each other what you need during the difficult transition then the relationship prob isnt going to go much further.
Absolutely agree. In general, we don't really argue very often at all but the first months were really, really hard. I definitely expected him to make some sacrifice in his life to keep me company and make me feel more comfortable given the huge sacrifice I had just made for him. If that hadn't happened, then I don't think it would have worked out.0 -
It will be about 700 miles. Metropolitan area to another metropolitan area. Part of the problem is he loves his job and has an impressive title which he doesn't want downgraded for another position here. He's 27.
I can sort of relate to him. I've been with my employer for about 12 and a half years. I make good money, have good hours, have good working relationships, good benefits, etc. I've been looking for a job but it's not easy to find one in this economy, plus, it's hard to think that I'd be working for another company after I've been here for so long. I love my employer and can't really imagine working somewhere else. I don't drag my feet, but at the same time, I refuse to apply for just any job simply to be in that city.
It's tough. :indifferent:0 -
How long did it take to find work?
Were you scared to leave friends and family behind?
Did you drag your feet or delay in any way?
it took me about 5 months to find a decent job. but that's because i moved to a small town with a huge military base where you have military spousal preference, retirees, etc, so a lot of places weren't hiring.
i wasn't scared exactly, moreso sad to leave my mom behind, we had a big cry over it, but she comes to see me and i go see her as often as we can and we talk pretty much everyday via phone, text, etc.
i didn't drag my feet, i was working two pretty good jobs where i was living and just wanted to become a bit more financially stable before i up and moved because i didn't have a job already lined up in columbus..but then my roomates cat got fleas...which i caught...and i took that as an omen to just leave. plus it was around tax season so i ended up being okay.0 -
That's pretty much it exactly.It will be about 700 miles. Metropolitan area to another metropolitan area. Part of the problem is he loves his job and has an impressive title which he doesn't want downgraded for another position here. He's 27.
I can sort of relate to him. I've been with my employer for about 12 and a half years. I make good money, have good hours, have good working relationships, good benefits, etc. I've been looking for a job but it's not easy to find one in this economy, plus, it's hard to think that I'd be working for another company after I've been here for so long. I love my employer and can't really imagine working somewhere else. I don't drag my feet, but at the same time, I refuse to apply for just any job simply to be in that city.
It's tough. :indifferent:
We've talked about it so many times, he assures me he isn't delaying this. And usually I believe him. Sometimes it's hard.
Glad to read what you had to say though.0 -
Yeah, since the move would be only about 1.5 hrs away from me, I've even considered commuting. Which, it would completely suck going from about a 25 minute drive to work to about a 2-3 hours drive to work, it's still an option I have.
And I'm not sure about your relationship and why he's trying to move to where I'm assuming you are, but is there any particular reason you can't move to where he is? The reason my g/f and I are moving to Austin is because that's where her family is and she's not too fond of San Antonio - it's quite different from Austin. Although, she has mentioned coming to San Antonio if I absolutely can't find a job in Austin.
Good luck to the both of you.
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I moved from Mississippi to Phoenix at 19 to be with the guy I was dating. He moved 3 months before I did and the original plan was for me to finish my sopomore year of college and then transfer schools. By Christmas we couldn't stand being apart any longer. He took the train home to come get me and help me move to Phoenix. We left from Memphis (where his parents live at the time) on December 28. I started work a little under a month later but would have started sooner had I not gotten sick with the flu and then Valley Fever.
Oddly, I wasn't scared or worried when I moved. I was leaving all of my family and friends behind and moving 2300 miles away but it didn't bother me at all. I've been in Phoenix for almost 12 years now and I don't regret the move at all. Thankfully, the guy I moved for is still as awesome as I thought he was at 19. We've been together for 13 years and married for 1 year this past August.
I didn't drag my feet at all. I decided to move at the beginning of December and actually left town on 12/28. I packed all my stuff, quit school, transitioned all of my school resposibilities to someone else, and said all my goodbyes in a matter of about 3 weeks.0 -
When my husband and I were dating, he got stationed in San Diego, CA. He asked me to move on a Tuesday, I told my friends and family on Wed. and I moved Friday night (he drove down to help me move). It was the ebst decision I ever made! I had/have no regrets and we always so those were the best times ever, it was our "home" and we plan on moving back when we are kid free someday, lol.
I had plenty of work opportunities, it only took me 2 days to fine 2 different places where I could work, and they were doing to hire me, but fortunately he made enough to support our two households on his income alone. (we lived in separate homes until we got marred, then we moved into his appartment.)
It is not for everyone, i didn't have kids at the time so for me it wasn't so hard, but if your heart tells you to go, then listen0 -
oh, i didn't see it was him moving, still I feel the same. Having a plan for income is nice, but sometimes you just have to take a leap. Maybe he could take a week or two vacation from his work and stay with you while he looks for work in your area? It might make him feel better.0
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How long did it take to find work?
Were you scared to leave friends and family behind?
Did you drag your feet or delay in any way?
Moved from Mass to Florida.
Five weeks to find work that would pay the bills.
Dragged my feet bigtime. Supposed to leave at 3am and as of 11pm, I hadn't loaded the trailer or packed any of my clothes.
Relocating was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Moved back home 16 months later...single.0 -
oh, i didn't see it was him moving, still I feel the same. Having a plan for income is nice, but sometimes you just have to take a leap. Maybe he could take a week or two vacation from his work and stay with you while he looks for work in your area? It might make him feel better.
He usually stays about a week at a time. We both take a TON of time off.
I've just got to continue to be patient. We've had a ton of conversations about this, and he is holding out for something that is going to make him happy.
it is nice to hear others are as selective.
if it ws up to just me moving, I'd be there no question. But I make much less, have a much less impressive job.0 -
about a month
yes, but the key to easing that pain is to find creative and fun ways to stay in contact. . . we like to have Skype dates and things like that!
Took me about a month or so to get things in order, but when I was ready, I loaded up and moved!
Best decision I ever made in my life! He was a friend from high school, we had a long distance relationship after my divorce, and although I was leary of relationships, I just went with my gut and dove in. He is now my husband and we are ridiculously happy!!! Like, i-thought-this-kind-of-happiness-only-occured-in-the-movies kind of happy. Makes me wish I didn't waste those 11 years after high school not being with him, but i have a beautiful son out of my last relationship, whom my husband takes on as his own.
Good luck with everything!!0 -
I moved from PA to NV back in 1998...I went to school for a year before I got a job; but it didn't take me very long once I started looking...maybe a month. I was scared; I was leaving my entire family and all of my friends to move almost 2,700 miles away. My now ex-husband had flown out and we had a big going-away weekend with my family and then drove out here. I should've known things would turn out well when he totalled my car 30 miles from our final destination of Reno.0
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about a month
yes, but the key to easing that pain is to find creative and fun ways to stay in contact. . . we like to have Skype dates and things like that!
Took me about a month or so to get things in order, but when I was ready, I loaded up and moved!
Best decision I ever made in my life! He was a friend from high school, we had a long distance relationship after my divorce, and although I was leary of relationships, I just went with my gut and dove in. He is now my husband and we are ridiculously happy!!! Like, i-thought-this-kind-of-happiness-only-occured-in-the-movies kind of happy. Makes me wish I didn't waste those 11 years after high school not being with him, but i have a beautiful son out of my last relationship, whom my husband takes on as his own.
Good luck with everything!!
That is exactly how happy we are together. And he also takes my childen as his own, which makes the wait harder.
I've got the "family" that I've always wanted. I just have to wait for the peices.0 -
It will be about 700 miles. Metropolitan area to another metropolitan area. Part of the problem is he loves his job and has an impressive title which he doesn't want downgraded for another position here. He's 27.oh, i didn't see it was him moving, still I feel the same. Having a plan for income is nice, but sometimes you just have to take a leap. Maybe he could take a week or two vacation from his work and stay with you while he looks for work in your area? It might make him feel better.
He usually stays about a week at a time. We both take a TON of time off.
I've just got to continue to be patient. We've had a ton of conversations about this, and he is holding out for something that is going to make him happy.
it is nice to hear others are as selective.
if it was up to just me moving, I'd be there no question. But I make much less, have a much less impressive job.
It sounds like if he can find a comparable job he will be much happier about the move and it won't feel so much like a "sacrifice". That career status seems to be very important to guys. And if he's happier with all of that, it will be better for your relationship. Are there job options like that in your area?0 -
^^ Hi to another Kyla
To answer the OP's question...
I moved from Massachusetts to Puerto Rico to be with my love. But, he had moved first for me 4 months into our relationship. Staying in Massachusetts was always a temporary thing, though, so I made the "bigger" move.
I had work immediately. I'm a bartender, so it's no biggie for me to up and move.
Neither of us dragged our feet, but I kept pushing back my ETD date because we were both broke.
We've been together nearly 3 years now
Don't forget, anything worth having, is worth waiting for.0 -
I get 2 move every 3-4 yrs because my hubby is in the military. the first time I did it it was hard. but exciting. i'd lived in the same county for 28 years of my life. I waited till I started going stir crazy before I went looking for a job and it didn't take me very long to find a new job. this time around when we moved it took me less then a month to find a job. friends are a little bit harder to find but I am, slowly.0
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How long did it take to find work?
Were you scared to leave friends and family behind?
Did you drag your feet or delay in any way?
It took me about a month to find work, but I didn't start looking immediately.
YES. I still miss them. I made a 1200 mile move and left everything behind. It was really hard to get used to, I even catch myself almost a year later saying at my house, or in my town, referring to the place I left behind.
No. I was quite excited. I just knew it was going to be hard to adjust.0
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