Food for comfort or as a reward...

Adzriel

I suffer badly from depression, going out in public makes me very uncomfortable and self-concious, I'm 2 weeks into this health kick thing and so far I've achieved nothing. This last week has been a total disaster.

I find that when I'm particularly miserable, or afraid, I can either dwell on it, make myself worse, and maybe end up doing something really stupid, or I can try to do something to cheer myself up. My options on that are limited however, I've got used to using food for this purpose.

In week 1 I managed to avoid using food for comfort, stuck to my allowance, logged everything, managed to do some exercise every day at least. Then I fell and injured myself, and the next day weighed in with a mighty quarter pound loss for my efforts. I was devastated. In pain, unable to exercise at all for several days, and feeling like it wasn't working anyway, this last week has been awful, and now I'm afraid to step on the scales at all.

What I'd like to know is how do you cheer yourself up when you can't use food? Where do you get the comfort to help you feel better? How do you keep your motivation when it doesn't seem to be working?

PennyNickel14

Depression stinks and I am sorry that you are struggling with that right now.

Exercise really helped my best friend. Here is an article about that.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043

suse56

You may need to see your doctor for help with your depression. good luck!

McKayMachina

I've been down that road. Big huggz, first of all.

Now, you say you're afraid of what the scale will say, so I'm gonna suggest staying off of it for a couple of weeks.

Do your best and weigh in on Nov. 1st. How does that sound?

sunkisses

Have you tried to deal with the depression thing? Like maybe talking to someone about things? The things that cheer me up are already things you don't like to do. I go out and get around people. I have hobbies and outside interests. But I'm not battling depression either. I really think this is the issue that should be receiving the most of your attention. Your health and well-being starts on the inside.

Adzriel

I was forced to 'deal' with the depression thing when my partner dragged me to the doctors 2 and a half years ago after I nearly drank a solution of potassium Cyanide at work (I was an analytical chemist).

Since then I've been through counselling that has told me to change behaviours which make no difference because as far as I can tell that's just putting a mask on every day and not letting the world see that inside you're still feeling like crap.

I was put onto an anti-depressant and sleeping pill that basically left me drugged and stoned for a year, between that and not being allowed to work, so not getting my daily 3 mile walk to and from work, I gained a *lot* of weight.

They've changed me to a different anti-depressant now, which at least allows me to function, and that appears to be as far as medical help on the subject goes.

I know that if I can lose the weight I gained in that 1st year it will help, but I just don't know how to make myself do it.

Gallinagordita

I really feel for you. It seems like you're in a lot of pain emotionally, and I hope things get better for you.

The same exact thing happened to me when I first started MFP. I got a knee injury right away, couldn't work out and lost all motivation. But three or so weeks later the injury started to feel better....plus I went to the dr. for depression, anxiety and panic attacks. She put me on Celexa and told me what kinds of exercises were best for weak knees. I also started seeing a counselor. Things have changed immensely since then. I've now lost 20 pounds and am actually enjoying exercising. The mutual support on here has really helped, but to tell you the truth, I think the medication has helped too. I'm not nearly as anxious which means my bored-nervous snacking has decreased. Combining that with the exercise and talking out my issues has really worked wonders.

I am not advocating for medication, as I think it's a very personal choice - it took me years to accept that I needed to try it. I hope that you'll consider seeing a doctor and finding someone you can talk to.

Depression is awful, and taking that first step to deal with it is so hard, but you can do it! Best wishes.

P.S. I must have been typing at the same time as you and didn't see the above post!

McKayMachina

Have you tried to deal with the depression thing? Like maybe talking to someone about things? The things that cheer me up are already things you don't like to do. I go out and get around people. I have hobbies and outside interests. But I'm not battling depression either. I really think this is the issue that should be receiving the most of your attention. Your health and well-being starts on the inside.

This is great advice.

Also, I love your signature quote, sunkisses!

McKayMachina

I was forced to 'deal' with the depression thing when my partner dragged me to the doctors 2 and a half years ago after I nearly drank a solution of potassium Cyanide at work (I was an analytical chemist).

Since then I've been through counselling that has told me to change behaviours which make no difference because as far as I can tell that's just putting a mask on every day and not letting the world see that inside you're still feeling like crap.

I was put onto an anti-depressant and sleeping pill that basically left me drugged and stoned for a year, between that and not being allowed to work, so not getting my daily 3 mile walk to and from work, I gained a *lot* of weight.

They've changed me to a different anti-depressant now, which at least allows me to function, and that appears to be as far as medical help on the subject goes.

I know that if I can lose the weight I gained in that 1st year it will help, but I just don't know how to make myself do it.

Your partner "dragged" you because he/she probably cared about you.

Sounds like you need to realize something: If you want to get better, you have to be willing to help yourself.

Good luck.

Adzriel

Sounds like you need to realize something: If you want to get better, you have to be willing to help yourself.

I'm willing, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here. I just don't know how.

carebear7951

Depression sucks. Being dependent on medication to get through life sucks. But when you get the right meds it usually helps so much that it doesn't seem so bad. Let yourself heal completely-you can lose the weight w/o exercising, you just don't get as many calories per day (which is no fun but should only be temp in your case, right??). Do not exacerbate your injury by keeping going. You will have to find something else that comforts you-I used to (before kids) escape into a book-that was enough to help me. What about knitting, sudoku, writing....I know, food feels and tastes good, but it's meant to nourish us not nurture us (preaching to the choir here!!!!) Best wishes!

McKayMachina

Google "Cognitive Behavior Therapy". It's a gradual process and will take focused effort on your part but it works. Hope it helps.

psych101

Oh yes, food for comfort - that was me. I used to eat to numb the pain or to stuff back down certain feelings...which then made me feel guilty and angry, and then the whole cycle would start again.
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.
I tried to change the way I comforted myself, instead of food I'd go for a walk - not a fast paced "how many calories can I burn" walk, but a slow one, taking in my surroundings, people watching etc. I found it freeing.
Nowadays I put on some random music and dance around like a crazy person, I try to change the way that I react to certain things, I take a bath and use some fancy lotions and potions. I focus on me, and what makes me feel good!

I dont know if these ideas will work for you, but know that you're not alone and that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

sunkisses

Have you tried to deal with the depression thing? Like maybe talking to someone about things? The things that cheer me up are already things you don't like to do. I go out and get around people. I have hobbies and outside interests. But I'm not battling depression either. I really think this is the issue that should be receiving the most of your attention. Your health and well-being starts on the inside.

This is great advice.

Also, I love your signature quote, sunkisses!

Awww Thank you!

Adzriel

Google "Cognitive Behavior Therapy". It's a gradual process and will take focused effort on your part but it works. Hope it helps.

I've had 6 months of CBT, keeping diaries of my thoughts and actions, forcing myself to do x y and z. In the end it tries to change thought patterns by changing behaviours, but if it doesn't address the underlying cause of the depression then it can't make it go away. I found that it left me trying to put the daily mask back on, showing the world a functioning human being, but the feelings never changed.

Maybe I should point out that I'm a qualified biochemist and geneticist with an A level in psychology and a whole pile of extra-curicular studies in anthropology, behavioural sciences and social conditioning. It's not as though I don't know what treatments are available and how they should work. From a logical perspective I understand my condition entirely, but at 3 am when you're cold and alone and can't think of a single reason that your existance benefits the world, logic has zero part to play.

lawkat

I understand where you are coming from. It is tough and I know when people say suck it up or deal with it, it is hard to hear and understanding. I currently take Wellbutrin for my depression. For me, between the Wellbutrin, exercise, eating healthy, getting enough sun, therapy and keeping busy are probably what has really turned my life around.

I found that my biggest problem is that I ruminate over things. I would think about things over and over again (not OCD), which would just make me feel lower and lower. I did the pity party where no one wanted to be my friend and people don't care. The thing is, I had to stop that thinking. It is counter-productive to what the reality is. I keep myself busy with friends, work, hobbies and exercise. Those things have helped me not go down that slipper slope of feeling sorry for myself. That is tough to stop, but over time it gets easier.

As for being an emotional eater, that is tough since you need food to live. I find if I deal with what is wrong before I start eating, that usually makes me think twice. I will also try to distract myself from eating by doing something else such as going for a walk or reading or some other hobby. I have never used food as a reward. I would maybe buy myself something nice or make plans with someone as a reward, but not food. There are some great books out there about emotional eating and how to work through them.

It certainly isn't easy and as for putting on a mask, over time, it won't feel like you are wearing a mask but that is the real you coming out.

cofakid

in my opinion, i think u need to feel more motivated to loose weight to stop yourself emotional eating. i think if u really want to loose weight you won emotional eat because it will only take you back a few steps.

Finding what motivates you is hard because its individual but i think you should try. Have a good think/look at WHY you want to loose weight, what is really going to push you, and look up some motivational tips. Here are some sites i found helpful:

http://www.peertrainer.com/diet/how_to_get_the_motivation_to_lose_weight.htm

http://www.peertrainer.com/how_other_people_effect_your_motivation.aspx

http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/diet-motivation-tips

after reading them i started to look at what was motivating me and how to create more motivation. i got myself back into diet and exercise control when i had fallen off the wagon. then i started using mfp and have found my friends motivate me so much, im so excited about exercise these days and i never thought i would be. giving and getting support has really made me more motivated, and im really enjoying things now. i think this is a good step you should look into doing. Your not going to loose weight if you dont know why u want to, or you dont care enough. once you have more motivation its easier to stop yourself emotionally eating.

and as for something to replace food, maybe theres something you like doing but havent in a while or a hobby u have?
for example colouring in kids books. it may sound silly but its really relaxing and can bring back fond memories. u culd try fun exercise ive been doing some awesome ones lately like skipping, hula hoop, rollerblading. xercise is a good idea because it does release endorphins, but u dont have to go all out. or maybe escaping into a good book, writing. i like to talk out my problems but if theres no one to listen writing it out can really help. I've just started medication for a similar problem, (fortunately for me the meds seem to be working fantastically) but these are the kind of things i did to help myself in the past.

ive gotten quite addicted to mfp and exercising and its been reaally positive for me and helped me through some troubled times.

these are all just suggestions though, take and leave what you like.

best of luck