I feel like I'm failing.

mandimoore617

I've been on MFP since July 29th and I've made some good progress and I've met some amazing people. I think my mood is due to TTOM so this post may just make me laugh next week, but I need to post it anyway. I just need the encouragement I guess.

Since July 29th, I have lost 24 pounds and a total of 12 inches from my body. I've actually lost a total of 37 lbs, but that is in the last year. I guess maybe it's because it's been split up over a whole year, I just feel like I'm failing so bad this week. And I know, tomorrow is a new day, and I actually haven't screwed up today yet (I screwed up yesterday though). I keep thinking about going in there and raiding my son's Halloween candy that family sent to him. I keep thinking about eating all of the watermelon that's left. I keep thinking about eating something! And it's due to the fact that I'll be starting my period any day now and my cravings are horrible. I normally have cravings, but not this strong!

I think I have an issue with going under 199. Every time I get within that mark, I end up sabotaging myself. I'm at 203.8 now and I know 199 isn't THAT FAR, but I feel like I can't reach it. I feel like maybe that's where my "wall" is.

I see progress pictures of myself and I do see the difference, I know I am doing well and I know I've come too far to stop. But I just feel... wretched. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow... I'm NOT going to binge out on stuff tonight though!! I won't let this get me down and ruin today... I let that happen yesterday and I'm not going to do it today!!

Articeluvsmemphis

I stopped reading after you said you needed encouragement and that you lost 12inches/27 pounds :happy: well that's encouragement enough to keep at it, you've done great

gods_gal

Just a reminder of what is on your profile wall ... Failure is NOT an option! This battle is more in our minds than it is physical. You will figure out what's causing you to see a wall at 199 and you will not jump over that wall, you will barrel right through it. I believe in you!

wwinn18

you're doing great! don't let one crappy day ruin what you've accomplished! you've done so well and i know you can accomplish your goals!!

Eleanorjanethinner

Eat the watermelon! It's very low in cals. Then go for a gentle walk and say nice things to yourself as you do it. You've done an amazing job!

rebeccamareejones

1. WOW you look amazing! You really really do.

2. I had a day exactly the same yesterday. I felt so down and just like I cant do this etc. I felt like the negative thoughts were just entering my head so much more easily then usual. I think that learning to recognise those thoughts very quickly and pushing them out before they get hold is key. Today is a brand new day and it's going to be done with my usual mindset!

riccoismydog

Try adjusting what you are eating, not just how much. Today is my second day majorly increasing my protien and lowering my carbs....and my cravings were instantly in check. I also hit a wall every time I reach a certain weight. I feel like I accomplished something so why keep going? Going is hard. Sitting a being proud of what I accomplished is easy. So I am getting rid of my scale and I'm just going to worry about how I feel.

Mskraizy

I feel your pain. :flowerforyou:

I lost 23 lbs too and got to 194 and began to scratch the surface of my sabotage but luckily I maintained that weight for about 3 or 4 months before I got back on track. Right now, I'm at a pretty solid 189-190. 190 seems to be my Death Range or something. I never go over, I never go under. But I'm determined to get FAR from that number because my starting weight, IMO, is still RIGHT around the corner. Sometimes I see the difference and sometimes I feel like I haven't changed at all. Both sides serve as motivation for me for I want to work to look and be better and I know I DON'T wanna go back to feeling useless and overweight again.

You're right about it probably passing over by next week, but just look at this as your motivation to get to the end of the tunnel. This journey was never meant to be easy and when we get through it, we'll all have a new appreciation of our own strengths even if we never thought we could attain it. Some people don't realize what the "true" benefits of weight loss is. Like someone told me, it's in the journey, not the sucess.

And did I just get off topic?:laugh: I'm sorry! I get so sidetracked sometimes!

goodasgoldilox165

You are succeeding - and know you are really! Face those demons - their voices will fade tomorrow.

Be stern 'nanny' to yourself tonight - put yourself to bed without extra supper - Promise yourself that you'll with all that tomorrow! Just winning through tonight is going to feel so good.

There are lots of us out here - all willing you to win
Best wishes!

Helenatrandom

Eat the watermelon. Have a piece of candy only if you can limit yourself. I know I have a problem with Snickers, so I don't even buy them for Halloween anymore. The poor kids get Tootsie Rolls, because I can just take one, or most days, none. :laugh:
You ARE doing awesomely! Don't let TTOM rule your thoughts about yourself.

emaline614

I've been on MFP since July 29th and I've made some good progress and I've met some amazing people. I think my mood is due to TTOM so this post may just make me laugh next week, but I need to post it anyway. I just need the encouragement I guess.

Since July 29th, I have lost 24 pounds and a total of 12 inches from my body. I've actually lost a total of 37 lbs, but that is in the last year. I guess maybe it's because it's been split up over a whole year, I just feel like I'm failing so bad this week. And I know, tomorrow is a new day, and I actually haven't screwed up today yet (I screwed up yesterday though). I keep thinking about going in there and raiding my son's Halloween candy that family sent to him. I keep thinking about eating all of the watermelon that's left. I keep thinking about eating something! And it's due to the fact that I'll be starting my period any day now and my cravings are horrible. I normally have cravings, but not this strong!

I think I have an issue with going under 199. Every time I get within that mark, I end up sabotaging myself. I'm at 203.8 now and I know 199 isn't THAT FAR, but I feel like I can't reach it. I feel like maybe that's where my "wall" is.

I see progress pictures of myself and I do see the difference, I know I am doing well and I know I've come too far to stop. But I just feel... wretched. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow... I'm NOT going to binge out on stuff tonight though!! I won't let this get me down and ruin today... I let that happen yesterday and I'm not going to do it today!!

We all have bad days... TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD DAYS and you can't let them get you down. You've done an amazing job and should be exteremly proud of yourself but if you're having a bad day, one of my favorite quotes is from Anne of Green Gables, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it". When you are having a bad day... keep that in mind. It helps me, maybe it will help you too.

Hunskers

You are definitely not failing. Look at everything you've done since July! I think the fact that you recognize that you have a invisible wall is an accomplishment - it shows you are in control and are going to climb this wall - or go "under" your wall. Just stay strong. You are doing great.

Clutha_R

Try not to loose heart, when you're stuck in the middle of the little stuff it can make you forget about the big stuff. I'm just like you, the days when it's all going well I can have a great time, feel fabulous but less than a week later I can be really anxious, distressed, craving and out of control. I don't think there's an answer other than you're on a journey and it will take time. It's a hike that you're in for the long haul rather than a sprint. Days like this will always happen and if you just stick to it this mood will pass and you'll come out of it. Try and focus on what you want, picture it in your mind whenever you feel you need some inspiration, measure yourself, try on new clothes and revel in your new figure. You can get through this just take it a week/day/hour/minute at a time!

Well done on your success to date - long may it continue!

mandimoore617

Thanks everyone for the boost! I really need it tonight. I plan to do a good workout tonight to get those endorphins pumping, maybe that will get me out of this funk!!

And thanks for the compliments as well... those always help too! :-)

Neese76

You'll be fine, you've come this far already.. and sometimes fear of the unknown or haven't known this weight in forever sometimes gets in the way, I can personally relate!!!:happy:

LHann360

Hey girlie, I'm right there with you Tomorrow is another day. I've been in a funk all day too. The last couple weeks have been a struggle.

We WILL do this....yes we will !!:bigsmile: I'll keep chugging along with you. :drinker: I've been reminding myself all day, this too shall pass and we're doing great.

Get a good nights rest and I'll be looking for your sign in in the morning. ~ hugs!!

Thankilates

Ahhhh, Mandi Mandi! NOOOOO!

You are doing so great and are so great and yes, it's probably just your TTOM I know I get like that too!

In fact, despite all the positive energy that I do have, this last week was not good for me either. BUT I got through it. I didn't want to workout and while I did it (kinda half assed) and I ate some bad food (funerals traveling) I DID IT!

instead of feeling bad about it (Which I did, oh trust me) i just let it go and started fresh this week and guess what, ALREADY in two days feeling MUCH better. We just gotta learn to forgive ourselves!

We are doing it! You have lost weight, you are an inspiration to others and you are moving forward with your life. So 199/200 is your "scary number!" It's okay, we all have one! We sometimes feel that we won't get past it, or jump that hurdle or whatever other anaology you want to use.

But let me assure, YOU CAN DO IT!

I say this all the time, but I really mean it... The days that are good and we workout, are on fire, have energy and calories to spare and feel GREAT about ourselves are the EASY days. It's the days you don't want to workout, or don't want to log, or don't "FEEEEEL" like you are making progress when that is what we are supposed to be working on... The mental side of things...

Sooo, just know that this time of frustration is just to remind your brain that your body is going to be in control, not your brain...

Our brains tell us "we are too fat, we don't look good in (Blank) color, we need to stay away from these foods, this style of pant, don't get the whipped cream because you are going to sabotage yourself, don't go for the cake, you just worked out!" ETC ETC ETC In other words, the brain wants control and in so, will make us feel "doubt, guilt and bad" about ourselves.

So here's the challenge. Look in the mirror. Say you love yourself and that even though you FEEL like you are failing, YOU ARE NOT! You are a winner and you are human and you are lovely!

XOXOX KIM

wamaverick

Girl...You are winning! TTOM (ha ha now that I know what that is) is always horrible but don't let it rule this day or this mood. You inspired me to get back together with MFP and restart this weight loss journey after a horrible summer of illness after illness. Love yourself tonight and watermelon isn't that bad of a craving to give into!

mandimoore617

Thanks so much everyone!! :-) I feel a lot better today, and I know a lot of it is due to the wonderful encouragement & support from all of you. And these dang moodswings are killer. LOL But I did finish strong last night, I did workout for 45 minutes and I stayed within my calories. :-) I even had a little chocolate. :-)