New gal with a lack of staying power

TrekCat

Hi!

I am new. I joined because MFP had a free app for my phone that I could use to keep track of what I stuff in my mouth every day. I thought if I could just keep track of what I was doing to myself I could do better. The trouble is, I can never stay on track. I start doing things, and I get busy, or start binge eating, and I quit doing the good stuff again - and again. Everyone else has success, and I just have ups and downs.

My workout partner is amazing! She has lost 130 pounds in a year and a half. I have 50 to lose and I can't keep off what I loose. I have been around 155 to 160 for years. I was at 172 and have been maintaining for years right where I am, getting down to 145 every so often, and then putting it back on. It is October, and once again I am trying to get a grip and make a change. But I really suck at this.

One of the things that is different for me then for my workout partner is attitude. She is excited about exercising, and gets a rush from doing it. I have worked for a year to be committed to one or two workout things that I can get through without screaming, and I very rarely feel "good" when I am done. I just feel weak, and foolish. I don't know what people mean when they say "dig in" during a workout. I don't know how people can chat and laugh. I have to really work, I have to concentrate, I have to find something outside of myself to hang onto. I don't have something to "dig into." I know since I believe in something greater than myself there is something in me that is suppose to give me strength - but for some reason that strength works in everything BUT workouts and sweets. Geeez. I guess I have a very weak faith.

So here I am at 9:50 pm venting on here so that I don't eat. And I am going to keep posting until I can find a way to hang in, dig in, stick with, or whatever it takes to NOT get blown off course again and again and again.

Thanks for listening
TrekCat

kenzysmom

I can understand your "lack of staying power" because I've tried different times and have always lost motivation and fallen off the wagon. About the excercise though, it sounds like you just haven't found what works for you. The gym might not be your thing. Hiking? biking? Walking? running? ... look into trying something else that might help you connect better. I have to say that I'm loving the gym and I never thought I'd be that girl! I don't always walk away feeling "great", last Thursday night I actually wanted to cry and then my class on Friday was another huge disappointment. But I took the weekend off, ate not so great and didn't go to the gym but Monday morning I was back on track and had 2 great workouts!!! Try to find something that you really love, it's great that you have a workout partner but it doesn't sound like what's working for her is working for you so try something different! GL!

voodoomoocow

Sounds like you need to find something else to do other than working out. Sign up for dance classes, martial arts, yoga, scuba diving, or anything that will get you off the couch and doing something fun and rewarding. You might have a better time if you're acquiring skills other than "running." If you can see progress (other than on your body) you will be more motivated to stick with it, and also may even tap into an inner passion.

I can't get into exercising either, so I've made changes in activities. If something is under 1 mile away, i'll walk. if its 2-5 miles, I'll ride my bike. 5+ is for car. If i feel like talking on the phone with a friend, I'll go for a walk. I park far away, and I make sure to eat what I like, but learn to keep it within my calorie limits.

One thing that helped me get down to 145 originally was flexing my muscles in the car, in class, at work, to stimulate crunches or other exercises. I've started doing that again and already feel flatter in just a week.

Not everyone is the same. What works for your workout partner is obviously not working for you. You need to find what makes you feel really good while simultaneously altering behavioral patters that will increase your movement during the day. You NEED to have fun a little otherwise you won't stick with it. Good luck!

TrekCat

Thank you all soooo much!

I found that I love to bike. I was biking to work (17miles) but then it got cold and I just failed. I have continued to go to cycle classes, but often feel that I just suck compared to others. Cycle class is different then being on the open road by myself. But then again, I didn't push myself to go faster, just to get there and get home in one piece!! I keep reminding myself that I am getting there, that this is a building time, but I get down on myself so fast - and I am not really sure why. If I were in my nurse uniform talking to a patient who had as negative a self image as I do I know exactly what I would tell her - but for some reason I cannot seem to give myself the same thing I give others.

Off to bed, made it a whole day staying on track with my goal. Maybe I can make it for two!

Peace and all good,
TrekCat

ritajean3

Add lots and lots of friends on here. They comment on your diary and it makes you feel warm and fuzzy and when you dont log for a while they send you messages telling you to come back

pixardad

Sending you a message/invite.

--PixarDad