My thoughts on depression

TrishJimenez

Hi. I think there are a lot of red flags going up in this relationship. I don't know your true situation, but I just want to express that you can always postpone the wedding. It's a heck of a lot easier to postpone it than it is to wake up and realize that you made a mistake after the fact.
Please, for the sake of you and your children, put things on hold until you can sort through what it is that's truly bothering you. If your fh really loves you, he will understand and support you. But it kinda sounds like you and your children's well being is not first and foremost in his mind.
My priest met me on the steps of the church the night before my wedding, and reminded me that it was not too late to change my mind.
How I wish I had listened to his advice.

With everything that I have gone thru in the past it is really hard sometimes for me to tell the difference between what I perceive to be real and what is me being paranoid and untrusting. I guess I just need a professional to help me sort thru it all

d2footballJRC

You might have depression but you sound more like anxiety. Time to creep people out. I was hospitalized for depression , anxiety, and OCD once. We found out that I can't take steroid medicines because I get wigged out on them. It was pretty bad. All I did was want to eat, cry, and hide in bed....so that is all I did. I worried about everything, worrying is usually more anxiety then depression which is the feeling nothing is worth it and you just give up. It's natural to worry though as well. Depression is very real and it's not something people can just turn off or quit. I had my mom tell me to just quit being such a grumpy sad person. I didn't want to be but my mind was so locked into it. There was no other choice for me, I had tried to force happy thoughts and etc but it just wouldn't work. I've always been a cinicle person but this was beyond that. It's amazing what drugs can do to us. I will never be able to take prednisone or any high level steroid again. It's been 3 years since that incident but it still sits in the back of my mind. I still have bouts of OCD every once n awhile but I've had them since I was a kid. Now that I've freaked everyone out......Btw I'm am drug free and I take nothing for depression and anxiety anymore and haven't for a little over two years, so it's not a life sentence if you get diagnosed.

You sound normal to me and sound like a responsible adult. Communication is key to this situation you are in IMO. you don't sound like you are going through a bout of the darks. It's natural to worry, it's an issue when you obsess to the point you can't function. Reason I say that you are obsessing over things, when I got jacked up I obsessed and worried about everything. I was going to,die, fleas, spiders, medicines was going to kill me, wife hated me, everyone hated me, I was going to have a stroke, etc every little thing triggered more to worry about. I was having panic attacks. You seem to be more one sided on it. I would seek helped you feel you need it no one but you really knows that. You sound more insecure and hurt from a past situation then anything. Just make sure you are communicating with your hubby to be. You have to trust to marry or it isn't just going to be your life that is miserable you'll bring his down as well. That isn't to be mean, it's just saying when you marrying a lot of your choices and feeling effects the other person as well.

celina6062

Trish,
How I wish I could be there for you. I feel so horrible for leaving you and the kids. We are trying to make it back to Vegas. I miss you my friend and weirdly i'll always feel like your a kind of sister to me in a way. I hope you feel the same. Depression and Anxiety is very normal in stressful situations. It seems though that since planning this wedding you were like this because I didn't feel this around you before. You were quick to smile and I got lots of hugs and great vibes from you.
Not having control in a HUGE day in your life will affect you no matter how much you try to downplay it. I mean its your wedding! YOUR day! You should have been able to have it your way and not have anyone put their nose in it except FH. I know that FH won't agree to elopement. I don't mean to state the obvious but if your future MIL is controlling this wedding where will she stop trying to control things in your lives? I come from being of the same ethnic origin that your FH is coming from and well moms can be very in control of sons lives. I hope that he will soon cut the cord and start thinking for himself.
As to what he wants to do with the move, Don't do it. You know how crappy Vegas school system is and well anywhere near the hood is where your kids will go and be influenced by those other kids. Be firm in your concerns about the kids. If you have to, Make us the bad guys ok? We don't mind and we want the best for the kids where ever they are.
Just remember to trust your gut instincts. and if you feel that you can't trust them because you don't know if you are just freaking out talk with your therapist. I'm always here if you need me Trish. Call me anytime ok? I love you and i'm sending light and love your way! *hugs*

TrishJimenez

You are right celina. And i miss you so much. Yes som of my worry is how will she be after the wedding. And she is so mean to his brother ex gf. I mean the poor girl is 19 with two little boys making it on her own. Cut her some slack. I dont worry thatthey will control me or my choices with my kids. You know how i hate conflict though. And i sm not a kid anymore. I have made the hard choices in the past for my kids. And i will do it again. When it comes to my kids i will not compromise. Money is super tight. And that is the months when money is good at work. And this is the slow time of year. I understand about the rent. It is a lot. But well that is priority for me. Like you said. So there are going to b fights. Anyways. I was tired and frustrated last night. Today is a new day

celina6062

One foot in front of the other. We all have those frustrating moments in our lives. Isn't it nice to have a place to vent ?! That's how I see this area of happiness. I can vent and move on to another day.