Dealing with Confrontation Advice Please!

Twoody83

Hi Everyone,

I don't normally ask for random advice but I think I definitely need some! I am not a confrontational person and don't do well with negativity. A couple of weeks ago me and a couple of friends proposed a change to a club i am in the annual general meeting. We had one topic on the agenda and we changed our minds and spoke on a very similar but different topic. Thinking the AGM is for people to voice their opinions and have open discussions I did not see a problem.

While we were presenting our proposal everyone was listening great and interested except one of the board members, he was chirping the whole time "this is ridiculous" "This will never work" and giving looks that shoot daggers. Anyway everyone voted and a decision was made.

Tonight, in a very confrontational way, he gave me a lecture about how it was inconsiderate we didn't present it to the board first and how bad we were for doing it that way. I apologized hoping to be done with it. I am trying to stand my ground more and it was bothering me so I mentioned I did not appreciate him talking to us they way he did. I said I thought the AGM was a open discussion for the entire club to make decisions. He then threatened that someone else is looking forward to having the same conversation with me. In my thoughts they are being very petty and it is this attitude that creates cliques and limits our clubs potential.

Sorry for the long story but does anyone have any advice on what to do when either of the people confront me in the future?

ninerbuff

Hi Everyone,

I don't normally ask for random advice but I think I definitely need some! I am not a confrontational person and don't do well with negativity. A couple of weeks ago me and a couple of friends proposed a change to a club i am in the annual general meeting. We had one topic on the agenda and we changed our minds and spoke on a very similar but different topic. Thinking the AGM is for people to voice their opinions and have open discussions I did not see a problem.

While we were presenting our proposal everyone was listening great and interested except one of the board members, he was chirping the whole time "this is ridiculous" "This will never work" and giving looks that shoot daggers. Anyway everyone voted and a decision was made.

Tonight, in a very confrontational way, he gave me a lecture about how it was inconsiderate we didn't present it to the board first and how bad we were for doing it that way. I apologized hoping to be done with it. I am trying to stand my ground more and it was bothering me so I mentioned I did not appreciate him talking to us they way he did. I said I thought the AGM was a open discussion for the entire club to make decisions. He then threatened that someone else is looking forward to having the same conversation with me. In my thoughts they are being very petty and it is this attitude that creates cliques and limits our clubs potential.

Sorry for the long story but does anyone have any advice on what to do when either of the people confront me in the future?

Listen to their concerns. Ask what they would do. Thank them for their input. Then look for a solution so it doesn't happen again.
Many times people just want to be HEARD. If you don't hear them out, they will argue. To defuse and argument, you let the person who's mad throw everything they have at you. And just listen and don't take it personal.

Tennessee2019

An AGM is to voice opinion & bounce ideas off of each other that might improve things, so how dare this person chew you out for doing exactly what is supposed to be done at these meetings. If someone else comes up to complain about what you did - just tell them what is said in the first sentence of this reply & then walk away.

pixardad

I agree. You want to be heard then hear them too. But remember, that doesn't mean taking their side or giving up yours. Hold steadfast to what you believe in...it's worth it.

--PixarDad

Twoody83

Thanks guys! Great advise I really appreciate it!