Inner/Outer Beauty

sunflower8926

Does anyone else struggle with the beauty issue?

For me, that is clearly part of my weight-loss struggle.

One part was that I didn't have strategies to eat well and care for myself in a healthy way, but another part was the apathy - almost a resistance to satisfying other people's expectations of how I should look. And I think there have been times, in my dieting past, where I have sabataged myself because I wasn't sure what I was going to do with the attention once I lost weight.

I have never been one to dress up, for various reasons, some of which were just practical, but I have come to understand that there is a wholeness that comes from accepting ourselves as women, femininity and beauty and all.

I am almost 50 now, and the beauty issue isn't really about looking "hot" - it's about accepting myself and being the best I can be, inside and out. Anyone else going through this struggle?

sunflower8926

Does anyone else struggle with the beauty issue?

For me, that is clearly part of my weight-loss struggle.

One part was that I didn't have strategies to eat well and care for myself in a healthy way, but another part was the apathy - almost a resistance to satisfying other people's expectations of how I should look. And I think there have been times, in my dieting past, where I have sabataged myself because I wasn't sure what I was going to do with the attention once I lost weight.

I have never been one to dress up, for various reasons, some of which were just practical, but I have come to understand that there is a wholeness that comes from accepting ourselves as women, femininity and beauty and all.

I am almost 50 now, and the beauty issue isn't really about looking "hot" - it's about accepting myself and being the best I can be, inside and out. Anyone else going through this struggle?

iftcheiaf

I do. It's funny, but the way I view myself actually affects my marriage and the way I feel others view me physically, and then mentally, and then emotionally. And then I start to eat. Two days ago, I was talking to my hubby and told him I'm going about this all wrong. If I truly am a "fixer upper" type of project, then instead of looking at the whole thing and being overwhelmed, I'm simply going to work on "one room" and "one project" in that room. So I told him I'm working on "the plumbing in the smallest bathroom first". He looked at me like I was crazy. But yesterday I decided to be POSITIVE. Not to pick on the little faults of others and myself to the point where I was unhappy. Just look for the good in all. Believe it or not, it was EXHAUSTING. I was so tired. It actually took a lot of energy and by 5 p.m. I had to lay down. Not that I'm a negative person, but this is a whole revamp of my personality of 34 years (thanks Mom). Needless to say, I made it through the day and my eating didn't do too bad either. I had one little slip up, but I didn't go to bed beating myself up because that would have been NEGATIVE. So I simply looked at where I slipped up and resolved today not to. When I went to bed last night, my husband asked me "how's the bathroom work going?". So cute. It's a learning process. I wrote a message in the kitchen that said "Happiness is an inside job" and my eight year old saw it and read it. She is my biggest inspiration for repairing this old, run down "house" that I call my mind and body.

Sorry, went off a little there. Anyway, there are my thoughts on the matter only because I've obviously been thinking about it. Day two for me.

sunflower8926

Thank you for your heartwarming reply. The way that you are going about changing - the "one room at a time" - is so great. I think it is overwhelming for us to think of changing everything all at once. For me, at least, this isn't just a matter of weight, it is why I over-eat (and maybe even in some ways don't want to be thin). I'm so glad that you have a hubby who is supporting you. Mine is supportive, too.

I feel like I am at war with myself - my thoughts, my patterns of behaviour, my beliefs about myself. I know I'm not going to win the battle of the bulge without winning the larger war of healing and growing emotionally.