Joining the Military=Not a Good Reaction

sitstaygimmeeakiss

So I was talking with my grandmother the other day about joining the military and lets just say they are NOT enthused about it at all. She just sat there with a disgusted look on her face and didn't say a word and continued to watch TV. So I just left it alone. I am worried that she will try to start to sabotage my weight loss so I can't join. What should I do about this??

OK, you've received lots of great responses. Let me speak from another perspective.

One of my sons wants to enter (he's at the tail-end of the age limit, so he's now considering the reserves). His actual heart felt goal is to be a policeman - I have NOT been very receptive to either idea, although I'm the kind of person that tries to understand... and I'm much better at accepting whatever path he chooses (and have increased my prayer life - he doesn't believe, sad to say, but God is WAY more powerful than his limited viewpoint, IMO, haha).

Perhaps your grandmother is like me - frankly, I'm scared of what can happen to him! We are at war - I know, not from first hand experience, but from a pretty good authority - my ex-boyfriend was in the Korean War & counseled homeless vets. No one was as good at his job as he was - he was totally dedicated to those men (back then, the shelter only served the guys - thankfully that's changed now). From all he knew, he didn't want his boys or mine to go into the military.

Maybe it's coming from another point of view (do you know if she has any political views?), but that fear that your loved ones can get hurt, either physically, emotionally or psychologically - or all of those - might be the reason.

That said - stay strong & don't let her sabotage your weight loss plans!! You have to do what you are meant to do - no one should try to stop you, even if it does come from loving you!

suzycreamcheese

id go mental if any of my children decided to join the army

sitstaygimmeeakiss

you know maybe its just that your grandmama is going to miss you !

I know part of it is becuase I will not always be here and plus it has been 1.5 years since my mom passed. I think that she may think she is losing me too. I know that I can stay strong but it is hard without their support..........her support. My mom was my biggest supporter in anything and now she isn't here.

Aw - didn't see this post before I wrote my previous one. Yeah, that's gotta be real tough for her. Yes - bet the fear of losing you permanently is there.

I want to add some stuff my ex-boyfriend had told me (he passed away a little over a year ago - was a good friend up to his fast, unexpected passing). I hope I don't offend any military people out there - again, this is NOT my experience, but advice from an old Army guy, a guy who was not only proud of his service, but identified strongly with it, who not only saw the worst of war (the 50 degrees below zero weather gave him lifelong health problems, just for a start), but the lack of help for our vets when they returned here.

Some of this may have already been told to you.

Don't sign anything at the recruiting station - bring the paperwork home & get someone to go over it with you - preferably someone trained in legal stuff (you can tell that's not me, lol!!). Expect to be lied to by the recruiters - esp. if they promise you something that isn't in your contract.

He also felt that the Army would be more likely to send you in battle (the fear moms, dads & grandparents carry!). He suggested the Air Force or Coast Guard to my son.

There may have been more he told me... I'm now getting oldER and my memory stinks sometimes. But hey, there's a whole lot of living crammed in this brain of mine. Only so much room!!

Good luck your quest - and go hug your grandma!!

suzycreamcheese

why would you expect the people that love you to be happy that you want to sign up to be cannon fodder?

Laurelje

why would you expect the people that love you to be happy that you want to sign up to be cannon fodder?

Nice...(said sarcastically, in case you didn't realize)...Some people know nothing about honorable service to one's country. From those of us that defend your right to say whatever you choose to, you're welcome.

horndave

why would you expect the people that love you to be happy that you want to sign up to be cannon fodder?

Obviously you have no idea of what the military is.

suzycreamcheese

or maybe I do?

suzycreamcheese

why would you expect the people that love you to be happy that you want to sign up to be cannon fodder?

Nice...(said sarcastically, in case you didn't realize)...Some people know nothing about honorable service to one's country. From those of us that defend your right to say whatever you choose to, you're welcome.

I doubt someone in texas is defending anything for me in England tbh

suzycreamcheese

and if defending rights to say whatever they choose is the main purpose of the military, i doubt theyd put so much money into it

sleepytexan

Girl, you will be signing up for 24/7 sexual harassment. That will stink. Think again.

wriglucy

I think this has gotten way off topic from what the OP was going for. It's her decision and she is free to do what she wants. As fellow MFPers, I think it's important to encourage people with positive attitudes.

So...girl! If joining the military is what you want...you go for it! Your grandma is just worried about you I'm sure. I'd be worried if my husband joined...or anyone else close to me.

Good luck!

HMonsterX

I am very ambivalent on this one.

In the one hand i have the utmost respect for anyone that does military service. I wouldn't want to do it in a million years, so more power to those that do.

However, if you have a husband/wife, and kids, and then you go in, i can't help but think it's a bit selfish. You're putting your own life in danger, and that directly affects your family...

Laurelje

and if defending rights to say whatever they choose is the main purpose of the military, i doubt theyd put so much money into it

"...support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic..." A quote from our oath of enlistment. Freedom of speech is just one of the things our constitution guarantees us. I'm sure other civilized countries' militaries have the same ideals...even England's.

bunny876

I went into the Army right out of high school because I knew I wanted to be a Police Officer and being a female I thought this would look great on a resume. I got way more out of it than that. Being in the military taught me that I could push myself to do whatever I wanted, and it was a great learning experience.

I also served time as a Drill Sergeant so I have seen many times that soldiers are there and they are sad because their family didn't support them. My best advice is to sit them down and talk to them about everything. Ask why she wouldn't want you to join the military. Chances are its because she is worried about you and your safety. Many people think the worst case scenarios when they here the dreaded "I want to join the military".

When I told my parents I wanted to do it both of them were against it. I compiled all the information I could, and sat them down and talked to them about it. If they had any questions or concerns I made sure I done my best to answer them for them. It is your choice, and you have to do what is going to make you happy. Do not let your family sway your decision, chances are after you are done with your Basic Training they will be more open to the idea and be proud of you.

HMonsterX

The simple reason why families may not like the idea is you are voluntarily putting yourself in danger. However noble the cause, you are still risking your life.

Maryee71

Sounds like Bunny 876 is someone to talk to more. She certainly has been there.
If your grandma is over 60 she probably remembers when women were just beginning to join the Academies and to serve with men.l
There were a lot of disconcerting stories back then and she's probably thinking about that as well as her baby leaving home.:frown:
We were an Air Force family for over 20 yrs and considered it a great way of life.:happy:
In this day and age when jobs are scarce and health insurance is so high, the military makes a lot of sense.
You get free health care, training for a job (one of the things you have in writing from a recruter), the possibility of travel.
Things that you can mention to your grandma.
As for danger--we can get killed driving our car down the highway!
Good luck in whatever decision you make and that you reach your weight loss goals!! :drinker:

HMonsterX

But driving our cars is a necessary risk.

Intentionally putting yourself in a dangerous location and scenario isn't.

bunny876

But driving our cars is a necessary risk.

Intentionally putting yourself in a dangerous location and scenario isn't.

I would agree with you somewhat on that, but some people have it in them that this is their life. If no one went above and beyond "necessary risk" we would not have military, fire fighters, police officers, nurses, or paramedics. That list could go on and on. I believe that yes for some people the careers they choose are necessary risk because it is in their makeup to do these careers and make these choices in order to be happy.

To the OP if you need to talk more, email me I am willing to talk to you and give you my experience. Granted everyone is different but I may be able to help you be able to talk to your grandma more. I have done this for several women who want to go into the military. Another great benefit is my education for my Associates Degree was paid for and my current work on my Bachelor's degree is being paid for by the military. There are a lot extended and short term benefits that come with the military.

Laurelje

Bunny 876, I couldn't agree with you more. As a first sergeant in the air force, I've had this type of discussion with many young airmen, both male and female. Thank you for your service!