really need help.

Options
Leyla135
Leyla135 Posts: 48
in Motivation and Support
My bf and i have had talked about doing the p90x workout, what surprised me is that he brought it up. I have tried to talk him into gettin on the treadmill with me that will beneficial to him because he is diabetic. Last night he brought up again i told i want to do it with him so that we are doing it together. He then says that he is tired when he gets off of work , i told him he wad making excuses and being lazy. He did not like that very much. I dont know how to get him to start. What should i do?
«1

Replies

  • Leyla135
    Leyla135 Posts: 48
    Options
    I forgot to mention he gets off at 4pm. :grumble:
  • ShortyJupitus
    ShortyJupitus Posts: 1
    Options
    Nagging him won't get you anywhere! I would suggest that you work out at the weekends, when you are both well rested. On week nights it can be had to get motivated as you may have been up early and then have been at work all day, but anything is better than nothing, even if you just go to the gym for half an hour. You'll be amazed how much more awake you'll feel once you push you that first 10 minute barrier. Plus making an effort to go to the gym in the evenings is great for your sleep cycle (as long as you don't work out too close to bedtime!)
  • richx83
    richx83 Posts: 334 Member
    Options
    Men are very simple creatures when it comes to motivation. Think about the top 3 things men think about and you will soon find a method by which you can motivate him directly I am sure :wink:
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Options
    Do it without him. Let him sit on the couch and be a lump. Eventually he will get jealous of all the male attention you're getting and get off his butt.
  • blakeman187
    blakeman187 Posts: 53
    Options
    Stick to your guns. If he really wanted to work out he wouldn't complain about being tired.

    You should do it for yourself, if he wants to join let him, if not then whatever, he can be out of shape on his own.
  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    I met my husband 12 years ago, he was very fit at the time. Then guess what, he stopped all forms of exercise and has done NOTHING!!!!! in the last 12 years. I have begged, asked nicely, not so nicely, I even brought up the fact his doctor said he had to improve his good cholesterol. Yet still he did nothing, until, get this I mentioned doing the Warior Dash in December. I mentioned it to all of our friends and since they were in, my hubby jumped on the bandwagon. He has since been training with me and his friend every night. We do P90X in my garage, were on week 3 and he's still doing it. I can't believe in all this time all it took was a little race to get him motivated again, go figure.
  • SPheonix22
    SPheonix22 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    He's looking for a quick fix. You may want to do it together but some people are better off on their own. Do it if you want but don't ask him to join you. If he still wants to he will by his self. This is going to have to be his journey. You can't force it, only support him when he is doing well and that does not mean saying you can do one more set. I won't tell you to apolgize. But they teach gradeschoolers not to name call. He may very well be lazy, but you need to change the way you speak. Defiance and denial go together. Try saying okay yourr tired today we can try tomorrow or whenever you like. Not sure about your history but he may just not want to work out with you or has changed his mind about it. Don't pressure.
  • jak111
    jak111 Posts: 36
    Options
    Maybe start out doing it on Saturday and Sundays when he doesn't work (if he doesn't work weekends that is). I hate to exercise. I won't get up in the morning to do it - too tired, I won't do it after work - too tired and I want to relax. So I decided to take my two breaks each day and instead of sitting in my office, I walk 15 minutes briskly for each break. I have to go up 30 steps to get to the track and back down 30 steps to get to my office. But at least I broke the "I am not going to exercise habit" I think if you get him going on the weekends, he might like it so much that he will do it in the evenings. Once you get him going on the weekends, you could start each night doing the exercise yourself and he might just join in.
  • ljedmom
    ljedmom Posts: 44 Member
    Options
    I tried that with my husband because his brother was doing P90X with his wife and it sounded fun. He wasn't interested either. Just do it and talk about how much you love it and how great you feel when you're done. Every so often when you are the one planning date night, do the P90X together or go for a run/walk, something active. If it has to start off infrequently, he'll still see how fun it can be to workout with you. Good luck!
  • Ebbykins
    Ebbykins Posts: 420 Member
    Options
    Give him some reward incentives. ;)
  • kellyplatz
    kellyplatz Posts: 4
    Options
    Good luck whatever you decide.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    Well I don't know your bf, but mine would need a slightly gentler approach. And remember that in the end you can't make him do anything. Maybe try something more along the lines of "I'm really worried about your health, especially since you have diabetes. I don't know what I would do if I lost you and I want you to get healthy with me, but I know I can't make you." Then I would start doing the workout yourself and hope he joins you. Keep inviting him, but try not to come off like you're nagging-- just a casual "I'm going to work out, do you want to come?"

    And having lupus, I used to teach (work until four) and I really was exhausted when I got home. But if I had some time to nap or just relax a bit when I got home then I could get on my stationary bike or go for a walk with my husband later. I can tell you though that if he had called me lazy it wouldn't have worked, I just would have resented it even though it comes from a caring place. And I can also tell you that if he was working out on his eliptical I was a lot more likely to get in there with him and get on my stationary bike. :) Good luck-- remember that egos are fragile.
  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    Men are very simple creatures when it comes to motivation. Think about the top 3 things men think about and you will soon find a method by which you can motivate him directly I am sure :wink:

    Yeah... don't think so. What are you suggesting she workout naked, with a beer in her hand instead of a water bottle.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Options
    How about getting up a little earlier and exercising in the morning? Or maybe have him plan to have a good snack in the afternoon so he's got more energy? Or let him have an hour or so after work to rest then workout? Or use nookie as a reward? LOL!

    You definitely don't want to nag but think of a few options, give them to him and see if he comes back with a solution. In the meantime, maybe you could start without him and let him know what you think of the workouts and/or let him see your progess and maybe that'll motivate him.
  • grannygethealthy1111
    grannygethealthy1111 Posts: 422
    Options
    Lead by example! Tell him how much you love him and are concerned for his health because you want him to be around for a long, long time. Change is hard. Ease him into exercising with you. On the weekends invite him to go for a walk, shoot baskets with you, play tennis, go swimming, riding a bike, etc. Nagging won't work. Keep making positive changes for yourself ... he WILL follow. :))
  • babybellyfat
    babybellyfat Posts: 1,102 Member
    Options
    you got some great answers! think of what men reallllllly wants. $ex !!!! NO workout NO $ex lol
  • blakeman187
    blakeman187 Posts: 53
    Options
    Men are very simple creatures when it comes to motivation. Think about the top 3 things men think about and you will soon find a method by which you can motivate him directly I am sure :wink:

    Yeah... don't think so. What are you suggesting she workout naked, with a beer in her hand instead of a water bottle.

    Wouldn't hurt to try. It would certainty motivate me. Minus the beer of course, too many calories.
  • biggerchubbychicken
    biggerchubbychicken Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    lol too true, sex beer and food, reward man like the 2 year old he realy is, but it is true reward is better then complaining, calling him lazy, or nagging, plus its better for the relationship, thiink about how you would want to be motivated on those bad days we all have, having someone rub it in my face that i don't feel like doing my exercise doens't help the self messages i am giving my self, be supportive, have fun, and "help him"
  • Sheilaof757
    Sheilaof757 Posts: 5
    Options
    My husband and I can't do anything with regard to weight loss together. He is not supportive of my weight loss of course though..mainly because of his insecurities with other guys checking me out...I have asked him to walk with me, to join my gym, to eat some of the healthier food I cook and all to no avail. I refuse to let his lack of motivation dicatate my health so I do all that I need to do for me and when he is ready I figure he will do it for him too. Don't worry, when your BF is ready you will know it (If he ever gets ready)
  • Leyla135
    Leyla135 Posts: 48
    Options
    Thank you all for replying i will take your advices into consideration. I promise i wont nag him, i will little by little get him to do just a little bit. Lol.:wink:

Categories