Why is everyone so rude on here?

bry_all01

Well maybe not everyone and no offense to you if your readin this and haven't been rude to anyone. But it just seems like alot of people are negative and not interested in motivating one another but instead interested in tearing them down.

I posted a question about the show I Used to Be Fat, & I didn't once say I wanted to do what they did, but was just curious as to how they achieve such crazy results, as it took me about 6 months to lose 60 lbs, not 6 weeks like on the show, & I got some answers from people being very sarcastic, rude & talking to me in a condescending tone like I'm dumb for thinking I can do what they do when if they would've read my question they would've seen that I'm not interested in doing what they do, just curious how they do it.

& I just went on the motivation&support section and a girl asked a question about how to lose 10lbs quickly and people were ripping her head off! A lot of the answers were so mean.

I'm just curious does anyone else notice this? Why are people so mean and unsupportive on here? I thought this was a place to share success stories & get support from one another? Whats going on?

She wanted to lose 10 lbs in 11 days. I personally do not think that's very healthy. This is the internet and people are going to be rude. You will get trolled if you ask for ridiculous advice.

And, the OP in there called EVERYONE in there fat and lazy. But, that's not rude.....?

savethecat

I just has a coworker looking over my shoulder and he read the topic title "Why is everyone so rude on here?"

Automatically, he goes "Cause you all are some hungry b*tches. You get a couple hundred people not eating the food they want to eat and they are bound to be nasty to each other."

I know that's not true, but I found that hysterical.

flabulous4

I have just spent some time on the thread you've mentioned about losing 10 pounds in 11 days...to get into a Halloween costume...the poster got mad because people were saying that wasn't sustainable and called people 'fat' and 'brainwashed'. This is someone whose profile says that she wants to lose 51 pounds...someone who had advised her to use laxatives then got defensive about it - this person according to her food diary eats chocolate chips and Reddi-Wip for breakfast and has lost 2 pounds since joining...to be fair that thread is quite unusual in its vehemence and I think people thought it was a troll rather than a real poster.

I think some people on here do have a certain flamboyance of style, shall we say...but people do want to help. Stick with it and you will find lots of people who will help you - I have.

Nerdy_Rose

Welcome to the internet.

^ Yup.

I wasn't rude to the girl who wanted to lose 10 pounds in a week, but I did tell her it was a bad idea.
The promotion of unhealthy weight-loss practices is against the rules, even if someone asks for bad ideas.

Krys_T

I honestly just ignore the people on here like that. This happened to a girl on here who I saw asking about "what diet" to go on, and I don't think she meant it literally and people just ripped into her about how this is a lifestyle, not a diet, and blah blah. I totally understood what she was trying to say and suggested just "eating clean" and where she could find more info. But don't take it personal, some people were never taught, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" Keep your eye on the prize girl, there are a lot of us really supportive people on here also!

FYI: On I used to be fat it is actually 12 weeks they have to lose the weight. And I have a feeling they workout quite a few hours a day based on a comment one of the mother's made on the last show. She said, "I am being supportive, I am giving up my car for 5 hours a day, so she can workout" or something along the lines of that. Also, pay attention to their portion size of what they eat also. It didn't look like a whole lot that the other girl was eating.

Shows like that normally have the participant working out anywhere between 2 and 4 hours a day (Although I heard "The Biggest Loser" is more than that) They are also normally on 1200-1500 calorie max diets. I am not saying it is the best way to do it at all, but at the same time it depends on the person's body, and the urgency of losing the weight.

ilookthetype

I suppose you don't think it's rude to call someone fat?

Define rude.

I bet it doesn't match my definition.

I second both of these.

I'll third this.

Motion passes. /Thread

heathersmilez

I just read the thread you were referring to a NO ONE WAS RUDE!

Don't make things up and then start a thread about people being rude b/c that’s just going to get real and more intense hate-filled responses. In the thread you previously started someone said if "you" were 150 lbs overweight then that’s like losing 7 lbs for him - he was not referring to you personally but "you" as in the individual losing extreme amounts of weight, the morbidly obese people in the TV show.

Take a breath and move on.

Qarol

huh?

DOUBLE WINNER

So the OP is the double winner? Or is she confused by all the responses?

JaimeBrown5

Yup - some people are just better at not sugar-coating things and things get lost in translation when you can't hear inflection etc.

Generally, I haven't seen any rudeness unless people are asking/advising of things that are dangerous/unhealthy.

Yeah the 10lb in 11 Days thread turned comical (or call it rude, semantics.) but the point got across didn't it? She could DIE trying to the things she was talking about. We may have been mean the way we said it, but who's to say we didn't save her from an ED? Who knows if we made her rethink doing something stupid? How do we know if we had been nice and literally gave her what she wanted that in 6 months she wouldn't be DEAD???


For the record - I personally know someone who's dead from an eating disorder. If it takes harsh words to stop it before it starts, so be it.

jacksonpt

2 things worth noting, that I think sometimes get lost on these boards...

1 - folks on these boards are often VERY supportive of people, but VERY harsh on bad ideas. Just because we think your idea is stupid doesn't necessarily mean we think you are stupid. There is A TON of bad advice at there that ranges from ineffective to out right dangerous. The value in this site comes from the ability to learn and be educated, not to have smoke blown up your butt.

2 - For most people on these boards, the topics we post about are very personal. The time and effort we spend trying to get healthy makes us highly vested in the notions that we believe in and that have had success with. That makes this place inherently more "volatile" than, say a car repair forum might be.

All that said, there are a lot of times when someone doesn't take the time to read as closely as they should, or are just trying to stir the pot. Unfortunately it's just the nature of the beast.

Similarly... this is the internet. It's a public forum that anyone can contribute to. If you're going to post here, be ready to hear some things you might not like... and it probably won't be sugar coated.


.

Moofey

I would have NEVER reacted the way I did if she would not have called us all fat and stupid. Never. I am really a sweet heart and never do things like that but I HATE snotty girls.

BigDaddyBRC

Ahhh young grasshopper...Perception is a an evil mind trip.


As for that thread......
Ever get ticked off because you read an email or a text the wrong way that it was intended? People on here are passionate about being healthy. Their is no SAFE healthy way to lose 10 pounds in a week. By add continuing to press people's buttons, you will eventually be on the same wavelength and what is said will be for a reason.

If you want encouragement and support...just ask for it. and you will get it. Be crass and you get crass, Be awesome, and you become awesomesauce

Krys_T

Well maybe not everyone and no offense to you if your readin this and haven't been rude to anyone. But it just seems like alot of people are negative and not interested in motivating one another but instead interested in tearing them down.

I posted a question about the show I Used to Be Fat, & I didn't once say I wanted to do what they did, but was just curious as to how they achieve such crazy results, as it took me about 6 months to lose 60 lbs, not 6 weeks like on the show, & I got some answers from people being very sarcastic, rude & talking to me in a condescending tone like I'm dumb for thinking I can do what they do when if they would've read my question they would've seen that I'm not interested in doing what they do, just curious how they do it.

& I just went on the motivation&support section and a girl asked a question about how to lose 10lbs quickly and people were ripping her head off! A lot of the answers were so mean.

I'm just curious does anyone else notice this? Why are people so mean and unsupportive on here? I thought this was a place to share success stories & get support from one another? Whats going on?

She wanted to lose 10 lbs in 11 days. I personally do not think that's very healthy. This is the internet and people are going to be rude. You will get trolled if you ask for ridiculous advice.

I don't think it is asking for ridiculous advise....only reason why I am saying this is because when I first started exercising and eating 5 small meals a day, only drinking water, etc. I dropped 12lbs in 12 days....so it just depends on where you are at in your journey and how overweight you are when you start.

heathersmilez

I have just spent some time on the thread you've mentioned about losing 10 pounds in 11 days...to get into a Halloween costume...the poster got mad because people were saying that wasn't sustainable and called people 'fat' and 'brainwashed'.

In general, crash diets are a bad idea, any professional and even laymen would tell you that and the person who responded a little too intensely was probably angry at themselves, duplicate posts on MFP or was just cranky due to lack of calories. That being said we are all human and curious so perhaps it would be beneficial to have an area on MFP entitled "crazy short-term ideas for the desperate" but if Mike did that, he'd be encouraging unhealthy behavior so unfortunately, the crazy ideas get put down b/c they are just that, crazy aka not smart.

dls06

Oh now I get it.

karrenbennett

Unfortunately, this is going to happen no matter where you go. There will always be rude people even in places where people are expected to be supportive.

Personally, I just ignore them because it is not worth my time or energy to mess with them. We all have our 'hot buttons' and we don't know what type of day they've had or even if that is just their normal personality. Sometimes there is a time for critical answers (like if you tell me you are going on a 300 calorie a day diet - I would tell you why that is not a good idea and provide alternatives. However, others on the site will just jump in and say "are you just stupid?") My best advice is to keep doing what you are doing, surround yourself with people you trust and supportive, and ignore the rude ones. There are plenty of people on here who, like you, don't want to be criticized or judged, they just want friends, advice and support.

Please feel free to 'friend' me. Everyone on my friend list is wonderful, supportive and genuinely care about other people's progress.

Good luck on your weight loss journey.

MrsNoir

I've been here for three months and I haven't noticed the rudeness so far, so I can't talk about it. I might just been lucky, the same way you might have been unlucky. I hope it gets better over time, and as someone said, I'm not rude, you're free to add me

_SusieQ_

huh?

DOUBLE WINNER

So the OP is the double winner? Or is she confused by all the responses?

Yes, OP is double winner for such a well thought out and in depth response to those trying to answer her questions. And for being so specific about what she is confused about.

Bankman1989

Well maybe not everyone and no offense to you if your readin this and haven't been rude to anyone. But it just seems like alot of people are negative and not interested in motivating one another but instead interested in tearing them down.

I posted a question about the show I Used to Be Fat, & I didn't once say I wanted to do what they did, but was just curious as to how they achieve such crazy results, as it took me about 6 months to lose 60 lbs, not 6 weeks like on the show, & I got some answers from people being very sarcastic, rude & talking to me in a condescending tone like I'm dumb for thinking I can do what they do when if they would've read my question they would've seen that I'm not interested in doing what they do, just curious how they do it.

& I just went on the motivation&support section and a girl asked a question about how to lose 10lbs quickly and people were ripping her head off! A lot of the answers were so mean.

I'm just curious does anyone else notice this? Why are people so mean and unsupportive on here? I thought this was a place to share success stories & get support from one another? Whats going on?

I haven't run across a lot of rude people but this site is full of sarcastic folks..like me!

Everyone here has common goals to get in better shape. I am as supportive as anyone on here..BUT sometimes the questions or statements are not clearly thought out. I responded to the 10 pounds in a week girl. Now she has just lost 8 pounds in 3 months so is it realistic for her to lose 10 pounds in a week? She would have to burn a net 35,000 calories so we are looking at about 50,000 calories.

Plus i think that the folks on here can be caring and if you have a sense of humor you have to laugh at some of the silly posts like the Christian girl who wanted to lose 'Christian weight" with Christian friends. As a Christian I was embarrassed. And yes she was attacked (rightfully so).

There's not a lot of prudes on here. I like that!!

mermx

OK think of kindergarten/infant school and you will get kids that are rude and bullies. now think of middle school...then think of senior school, then think of the work place.

You are probably x by 3 or 4...but no..most of the kids at school that were rude and bullying maybe have turned their lives around.

Then you get the kids that were bullied and now have an internet forum to hide behind, so now they become the bullies...just think of them as the little kids at kindergarten.

Its only words, so they don`t agree with you...you are still the same person...most times you are not going to remember the names of the people that made rude comments.

Take on board the positive comments, occassionally someone will type something that hits a nerve, maybe it is true? Take it on board?

At the end of the day, it is a big mix of people on MFP as any forum and you are not going to get along with everyone.

But gl on your journey x