What do your freinds think about counting calories?

ttunteeya

So I have this freind, who i think wrote a blogpost about me.
She said that i hated myself and she cant believe that i wanted to lose weight and count calories.

She was also saying how it was lame for counting calories and she doesn't want to have freinds that count calories because it would be annoying to eat out with them...

She is saying i hate myself, when actually im proud of myself for doing this and finally getting healthy and fit.
Before i started counting calories i didn't really care about the nutritional value of my meals. I would just eat what ever was convinient. Now that i count cals, i've increased by fruits and vegetable intake by like 100 % !!

why is she saying this about me?! I dont get it...
she is saying that its rediculous that i want to loose weight because I'm the right weight for my body type.
I want to be slimmer and I want to have a really fit and tonned body!
I dont want to be skinny, I want to be fit and tonned. I want to have the best body I can have. Whats so wrong with working towards a goal like that when I feel healthier and fitter than ever? Is their something wrong with exercising?

I doubt it...

And Im far from anorexic!

why is she saying these things about me?
i dont really want to say thing but...is she jelous?

TheAncientMariner

I wouldn't go so far as to say that she is jealous. I think it is a situation where someone is commenting on something that she really doesn't understand. I count calories, but when I'm out with friends I'm not shoving it down their faces. I have been counting enough to know that there is a vast difference between a burger and a salad. I already know what I'm getting myself into either way, so I am informed enough to make on the fly decisions and log what I'm eating. I think logging what you eat is a healthy thing to do if it is being done for the right reasons (barring any neurological disorders like anorexia). I would have a non confrontational conversation with her about it. I think an honest discourse will get out how you both feel and perhaps a mutual understanding can be obtained. People talk about counting calories like it's a bad thing because of the negative stigma that is attached to it. I count calories because I love myself, not because I hate myself. It's your body and your temple and you can do with it as you see fit. My friends can do with their bodies as they see fit and I leave them to their own devices unless they come to me for advice or assistance regarding general fitness and health. I hope your friend can be understanding and supportive, because that's what friends are for. If not, perhaps you need to redefine the nature of your association. Good luck!

Sherbog

Why do you call this person a friend. Why care about what someone else thinks? I stay focused on myself and what works.

koosdel

I don't know. They quit asking about it when I learned the 'does my finger smell weird to you?' trick.

Nikstergirl

I don't get to go out with friends often, but when I do I always make sure I've worked out enough to handle any calories I might be eating/drinking that day. Planning ahead and using my iPhone to track my food works great and my friends have all seen me lose 50 pounds and want me to be happy, so they are all supportive and some are openly jealous. Then I tell them about MFP. If they choose to use it, I'm happy and proud... if not, at least I offered my tool!

The best part about MFP is that I can pre-plan my day. If I know we're headed to Applebee's for dinner, I'll search my menu options for what I will order and log it before I even make lunch. That way I know I won't have to sit there and agonize over what to order. I don't want to be "that" friend who sits there and picks at my food, I want to enjoy the company at the table!!!!

KokomoJoe

I doubt I would consider her a friend. I don't really count calories but I do log all my food and it is amazing when you eat 3 cups of salad, with 3 oz of chicken vs 1 big mac what the difference is nutritionally and what fills you up. By eating real foods all day I find some days I am more than full, eaten all day and MFP says I still have 600 calories to consume. The only time I really worry about calories if it is empty calories and I really want it then I look to see what it says as far as what I have left for the day.

kelsully

I have a friend who intorduced me to this site...she only logs and does not visit the forums etc. She and I can talk about calories and ftiness. There are others who know I log but I make it a point to be discreet so as to not raise red flags or to annoy. If I can log food when I am at a resturaunt before I go, when my friends/family etc have taken a bathroom break, or in the car on the way home I will not annoy.

Either this friend has past issues with food and Eating disorders and is afraid that you might be going through what she went through she might not understand. If there is a past ED in her life, the idea of restriction might scare her. I went many years where I had to have a I will do the best I can but not worry about it attitude because reading one label could send me back spiralling into ED territory. There is also the chance that your talking about it, constant logging in her presence, difficultly making food choices due to caloric quality is annoying her and this was her vent. She might not get it and you might be a bit over the top (don't know if either of that is true just possibilities)

Fatbuster205

In short, yes - she sounds jealous or even threatened. For some people, taking control of themselves with a clear goal in mind causes great upset for others. It isn't that she is jealous of you as such but of the fact that your attention is not on her! I find that times like this, when a person becomes stronger for themselves and takes control of themselves, you really find out who your friends are. A real friend would encourage and support you and not be critical. Obviously though you do need to be honest with yourself and make sure that you are doing this for the right reasons. If you are the right weight there is no harm in eating healthily, particularly if you want to build up tone. I think the fact she is annoyed about eating out with someone who counts calories says more about her! I have found that when you take control of yourself you do lose "friends" but you gain self worth and self respect. I know which I would prefer! Add me as a friend if you like!

BrettPGH

They have a saying about suddenly coming into a lot of money. It doesn't change you, it changes the people around you.

I'm finding that the same can be said of weight loss. Some people really don't like change, in themselves or others. And if they have you looking a certain way in their head they're uncomfortable when that impression starts to change. Yes it's jealousy. What other reason is there to be upset with someone for improving their life?

To lose weight you have to change your habits. She doesn't want to make that change for herself, so she doesn't want you to do it either. Does that sound like a real friend? Someone who wants you to stay in poor health just so they don't have to worry about having to put any effort into their own life.

Focus on you. F the haters.

Flissbo

I have friends telling me all the time I am too skinny (I'm not, my bmi, BF% and weight and in the healthy range) but I guess they are not used to seeing me thinner than I used to be. With girls I think there is also a jealousy thing for sure! I just try to ignore them and tell myself they don't know what my stats are so how can they say I am underweight!!

As for your friend saying you will be boring if you can't calories, surely it is better for your friend to have a healthy and happy friend than someone miserable? Maybe try and tell her this in a polite way?

I say good for you and try not to listen to anyone else. You may well get a few people making comments, I know I did and I lost weight due to food intolerance's and I had no choice but to cut out all sugar and booze.

You think people would be more supportive!!! Just do what you gotta do for you :-) and good luck!

staceyseeger

I still drive my friends & co-workers crazy about counting calories, etc. In some cases, I have rubbed off on them, and in some cases not. They have learned to accept what I do & I have learned to accept the sacrastic remarks.

ttunteeya

Thanks for your advice and comment. I really liked that you said maybe she just doesn't understand it. Because thats probably true. I also don't shove it down her face. Im just concious about what i eat, and i try not to pull any attention towards myself in that way because i know that its hard to enjoy eating out when one is talking about how much calories is in this and that. I dont do that, I do the ocasional post on face book "yay lost 1kgs, thanks to fitness pal and counting calories" but thats about all...i never do it during social occasions. Anyway, she is my good freind so maybe time will pass and she will get over it...i just dont want her to think im being unhealthy in anyway..i dont want her to get the wrong idea that im hating on myself. to tell the truth, im becoming more and more happy with myself by watching what i eat..just like you said you are.

flimflamfloz

People generally don't understand/make fun of you when you start counting calories.
In fact, whenever you are trying to change something/a habit/yourself, people will make fun of you (just a simple thing such as wearing a skirt if you normally wear them, changing haircut, buying your first leather coat - just ridiculous stuff like that...).

Once you learn to accept this fact, it makes your life a lot easier (i.e. you prepare yourself mentally to stand for your change and to dismiss people's comments).

In this case, I would just not take any of their comments personally and just keep doing what I am doing. Still, what I would do is confront her around a drink: "I just saw your blog post and I hope it was not aimed at me, was it?" with a smile.

Still, most people will admire you for your weight loss (without understanding that, at some point, you had to count calories, change yourself, etc.).

SouLThinking

Don't worry about it. Just do what's right for you. Having said that make sure your not constantly talking about how many calories your eating or comparing other peoples foods. I think I encountered this for a while only because it pointed out how many calories others were eating and it made them feel bad. I just eat what I eat..log it and move on. I rarely talk about my eating plan or my weight unless they bring it up. If you bring it up ..it's fair game for me to tell you what I'm doing that works.

ttunteeya

You just gave me some really good advice,
pre-planning meals before going out to dinner.
thats a great plan!

i dont want to be "that" freind either...
and i try not to be.
because i want to enjoy social occasions with my freinds

cruciangirl

I am excited about MFP and really like the new perspective it has given me on food. I'm doing this with two close friends and its new, so it is something we talk about when out with others. I do have some friends who roll their eyes at our calorie counting, or whine when I choose to not share1000 calories of french fries with them and instead order a salad... but for the most part they are supportive. I try to not dwell on it... but it is exciting and a new part of "me" so I share. If they are truly my friends, they care. Now... that said... if people do roll their eyes or make a negative comment, I would then be careful to keep it on the lowkey when out with them. they don't have to see me log in or count calories in my head. (I think of it as excitement that is shared... like a new job, a new haircut, a new place to live... share, but don't rub their noses in it.). If after that they still complain, I'd drop them as a friend. We need positive people around us, not negative people who drag us down.

MrsNoir

Hi..

FIRST OF ALL. If your friend writes a blog about you and in that way I'm afraid your friend is not a TRUE friend. Stay away from that people that are negative in your life and put you down that way.

SECOND... is she as slim and good looking as you? if the answer is no.. then chances are that YES, SHE IS JEALOUS! . Might be not of your body or your life, but just the fact that you're controlling a part of your life.

THIRD.. but if you decide to talk about it with her, and be friends, or pretend you're still friends, then perhaps try avoid mention any calories at all, or eat them, then burn them afterwards, but still it sounds to me like she's the kind that will look at you awfully if you have McSalad instead of Big Mac.

On the other hand, if the one on your profile pic is you, and you seem to look so lean and perfect as you are, consider that she might be worried that you're getting an Eating disorder, as she won't understand that all you doing it for is to keep your weight.

I hope that helps . I'm not being sarcastic at all, really, a friend that writes blogs like that about you is not a friend, she might be annoyed at it, but not as to write a blog, I've never done that, nevermind how annoying some friends of mine might be, even when they're tight, or so, you just might comment it with another friend, but not write a blog about it so everybody can see how she despises you for looking after your health. Feel free to add me if you need another fitness pal!:D

ttunteeya

Thank you everyone for your support and advice!
the person in the profile picture is not me, its only a motivational picture.
Its a picture of a Victoria Secrets model "Adriana Lima"
I have some real photos of me up on my profile.
But she has the body that I want, thats why its up there :-)

thanks again everyone :-)

LorinaLynn

I'm taking a hiatus from counting at the moment, both to give myself a break since I've hit goal, and because I have a rotten cold/flu thing and I refuse to care about calories when I'm sick.

But I think of counting calories, logging my exercise, hitting my macros, etc, as part of my personal hygiene and maintenance routine. Like brushing my teeth or coloring my hair or tweezing my eyebrows. It's what I do to keep myself healthy and presentable. :laugh: If I don't talk to my friends about shaving my legs or popping a pimple, why would I talk to them about my caloric needs? My food is my business. Their food is their business. If they want to know what I'm eating or how I'm exercising, they'll ask.

I do, however, agree that it's weird and passive aggressive that your friend would blog about you. If she has a legitimate concern for your health, she should talk to you about it. Otherwise, she should mind her own business.

robin52077

Has anyone really looked at this girl's profile?

Sweetie, you are 5'3.5 inches tall and 112 pounds. That is near the lowest end of your healthy weight range.
you say you want to be 99 pounds.
That is severely underweight for your height.

you say you want to be "tonned" by which I assume you mean toned, which means nice firm muscle tone, not jiggly, correct?
In order to achieve this look you need to build muscle by lifting heavy weights. In doing this you will probably gain weight while firming up and losing inches. You could wear a size smaller jeans and weigh a few more pounds. Seriously. If it is about the body in the mirror then you need to ABANDON the idea of ever getting below your current weight and change your body composition by building muscle and eating close to maintenance. Lift weights and eat close to 2000 a day to achieve your goal.

ilookthetype

Has anyone really looked at this girl's profile?

Sweetie, you are 5'3.5 inches tall and 112 pounds. That is near the lowest end of your healthy weight range.
you say you want to be 99 pounds.
That is severely underweight for your height.

you say you want to be "tonned" by which I assume you mean toned, which means nice firm muscle tone, not jiggly, correct?
In order to achieve this look you need to build muscle by lifting heavy weights. In doing this you will probably gain weight while firming up and losing inches. You could wear a size smaller jeans and weigh a few more pounds. Seriously. If it is about the body in the mirror then you need to ABANDON the idea of ever getting below your current weight and change your body composition by building muscle and eating close to maintenance. Lift weights and eat close to 2000 a day to achieve your goal.

I second this a million times.

At this point you could very easily slide into disordered eating, and that is difficult to reverse and calls for a lot of therapy and more self-control than most people realize.

Sometimes friends can see what we cannot. I'd suggest a heart-to-heart with your friend to allow her to voice her concerns and listen very closely to what she says, and do not pick a fight.

Qarol

Has anyone really looked at this girl's profile?

and the plot thickens....

bopper

My friends think I am nuts also and make little "cracks" when we go out to have dinner with the girls. I feel like saying "Look at yourself" and I am not trying to be mean but "Really" I always ask the waiter/waitress for what I want!

MrsNoir

Oh yes, I went to check after I replied, but let me tell you that you don't look far at all from that girl, I think you are quite there already!! And don't forget there is loads of photoshop and ways to make the famous look better than what they really are, so don't set your goal on a probably photoshoped pic. By the way, have you heard about the The Tracy Anderson method? it's meant to sculp your body so it would look like hers, so have a look on youtube, you can find cardios and the whole mat work on youtube! I did it this morning, and I already feel leaner! . Good luck on achieving your goals. Also keep in mind that when your goals in life change sometimes your friends change as well, so you're more likely to become best friends with another girl of your regular group who is also interested in losing weigh and being fit, the same way I'm more engaged now in friendships of mothers, as none of my close friends are parents, and not even near that.. so I was the first to get married and have a baby, and it's logical that I share more things in common with new mums, than with my friends who are still on the hunt of Mr Right!:D, but I'm going out with them next month! to help them on the hunt and lose some calories dancing out!:D

Thank you everyone for your support and advice!
the person in the profile picture is not me, its only a motivational picture.
Its a picture of a Victoria Secrets model "Adriana Lima"
I have some real photos of me up on my profile.
But she has the body that I want, thats why its up there :-)

thanks again everyone :-)

MIssFinny

Go on, count those cals. Screw everyone else. I've was told by my bff " God, that sounds like such a hassle." Yea, OK, that's why I'm down 5 lbs and he's not.

kelsully

I have a friend who intorduced me to this site...she only logs and does not visit the forums etc. She and I can talk about calories and ftiness. There are others who know I log but I make it a point to be discreet so as to not raise red flags or to annoy. If I can log food when I am at a resturaunt before I go, when my friends/family etc have taken a bathroom break, or in the car on the way home I will not annoy.

Either this friend has past issues with food and Eating disorders and is afraid that you might be going through what she went through she might not understand. If there is a past ED in her life, the idea of restriction might scare her. I went many years where I had to have a I will do the best I can but not worry about it attitude because reading one label could send me back spiralling into ED territory. There is also the chance that your talking about it, constant logging in her presence, difficultly making food choices due to caloric quality is annoying her and this was her vent. She might not get it and you might be a bit over the top (don't know if either of that is true just possibilities)

Oh..no matter what her reaon to address the topic...a blog and public address is pretty crappy