question about a guy...please help!

christine24t

So last Tuesday I met this kid at a bonfire for my club that I'm in. He didn't know anybody, and I'm just a pretty friendly person in general, especially knowing that he didn't know anyone. I think something might be a little off with him, socially speaking, because within an hour he was treating us all like we were going to be best friends, kind of like he is missing social cues (but I don't think it's anything that is able to be diagnosed like asperger's or something). He said he was interested in our club and would try and come to the next meeting. Ever since then, he's friended me on Facebook and has been asking me to hang out on a couple of different occasions. Friends who haven't even met him have been asking me what's up, so I know it's just not me.

I'm terrible at letting people down. I have no romantic interests in him whatsoever, and I think he misread my friendliness as me being interested in him. I'm going to see him around so I have to be nice about trying to give him a hint. What do I do? He seems like the very persistent type and that worries me. Thanks in advance for your answers.

ETA - when he friended me, I realized that he had tried and friended me a couple of years earlier, when he was a freshman. So he's the type of kid to try and add anyone on Facebook and be friends...

warmachinejt

tell him you're not interested please don't mess with him anymore...

jrhstarlight

I say the same, don't hint around just come out and be honest that your not interested. That way there is no misunderstanding again.

vtempes

Above all else be honest with him...and yourself! If you're not interested....tell him that!

daves160

And the sooner, the better. Make sure he understands.

fitplease

It sounds like he wants to hang out with you. Why not take a couple of people to hang out with him? (Maybe at a club event?) He may make a nice friend after all, or maybe you can introduce him to other people who he would end up befriending? He might just be shy at making his own friends, but you made it easier to reach out to people by being you and open to including him. Relax, you don't have to date him.

If he still acts like a sponge, then you can tell him to back off.

megz4987

He may not be romantically interested, either... he may just want friends. Keep it within the club for a while and see what his motive is... if he does seem to be interested in you aside from friends, tell him you're not dating/not interested, however you want to word it.

42hockeymom

I agree with what everyone has already said. But, please, when you tell him you're not interested, please use some tact. I am not saying to beat around the bush, I'm just suggesting you say something like: "I'm happy we've met, I hope that we can continue to be friends, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now". Something along those lines.

I have two girls, who are/were both popular in school, and had lots of guy friends. Some wanted to take it to the "next" level and my girls weren't in that place. They felt the same way you did sometimes and when they handled that person in a way they'd like to be treated, usually, it all turned out fine. I say usually because sometimes, no matter how tactful you can be, feelings still get hurt.

Basically, say what you mean, mean what you say, but always do it in a way you'd want to be spoken to.

livnlite

I would caution when dealing with any new friend that you don't know much about... but, having said that ... If he is new in town, for instance, he may NOT have many friends. Joining clubs is a great way to meet new people and try to fit in. Not that unusual ... WE ALL want that. You can't fault him for that.

No need to jump to conclusions. It's not fair to judge him on such little information. If you have a gathering of friends, what harm could it do to invite him to join in. He's probably looking for what anyone wants .. to 'chill out' with people his own age. Get to know him a little more, and THEN make a decision whether or not he is a good guy that you'd like to befriend. You never know .. this may turn out to be someone that may be a life long friend .

We all know how difficult it is to fit in to a new environment .. Give him a chance .. Be careful to not give him signals that you are romantically interested .. but you may be platonically available, as could be the rest of your friends.

i_love_vinegar

Ive met lots of ppl like that in my life~

If you dont get along with him, dont hang out with him, but although it may seem odd (It seems odd to me when this happens), they often end up being very reliable and fun ppl

Just1forMe

He may not be romantically interested, either... he may just want friends. Keep it within the club for a while and see what his motive is... if he does seem to be interested in you aside from friends, tell him you're not dating/not interested, however you want to word it.

This. He sounds like he might be lonely and is looking for a way to make some new friends. Invite him to hang with a group of your friends and make it clear you are only interested in being friends (which may be all he wants).