Opinions yes?

livnlite

I dont wanna say exactly what it is but i will give a similar example. And i dont mean he leaves the cap off the toothpaste every so often. Not something stupid like that.

Say he goes out drinking maybe once or twice a year. And you really dont like it. Then what?

Once or twice a year? THAT's what bothers you so much?

If THAT is it .. I can understand why you don't wanna say .. because trying to prevent your partner from hang'n with his friends occasionally is preposterous...never mind once or twice a year. Camaraderie with friends is normal, and perfectly understandable .. Unless he has a history or alcoholism or becomes out of control or abusive when he drinks, wanting to control your partner so much that they are not 'allowed' to have friends or do innocent friend things, is MUCH more disturbing behaviour. Way too controlling, if you ask me.

Iamfit4life

It depends on
a. what it is
b. his reaction when you tell him how much it displeases you.

i_love_vinegar

When you met him, was he already partying once or twice a year? If so, you could still bring it up to him in a way that lets him know you're concerned. If he JUST started after you guys got together, then that's an issue. If he's your age, he may or may not mature fast enough to catch on. But still, it's all up to your tolerance level. Letting it irk you quietly might manifest into an outburst of repressed anger later on. It's probably best to discuss it sooner than later.

He did it before he met me. And i didn't know about it right away. I couldn't even sleep last night cuz it bugged the hell outta me. Age isn't it though. I just feel talking about it isn't going to make a difference. If someone is gonna do something what is talking about how I feel about it going to do?

Well, you did say that he asked you wanted to talk about it, which kind of implies that he's aware that you're bothered by it. But maybe because you don't want to, it could be interpreted as you don't care. Talking about it gives the other person the option to actually understand how you feel and make the decision to stop on their own.

From personal experience, I'll let you know that if I were to ask my gf if she wants to talk about it, it's because I'm genuinely concerned that it might bother her. It's at that point that maybe I should re-evaluate my habits and stop. A reaction of "you're just going to do what you want anyway" will generate a response for me to start partying more just to do it out of spite and later on as an escape from the situation. If it gets brought up later, I'll throw it back and say, "I tried to talk to you about it and you didn't want to, so I didn't stop. I'm not a mind reader. If you wanted me to stop, you should have said so." But, again, that's just me, personally. He may or may not be the same.

Hmmm yeah okay. That makes a LOT of sense. I guess i am just used to the rude Cali people. "Hey how are you" yet they dont wait for you to answer cuz they walk by. I tend to think that about people. Okay i guess i maybe will talk to him about it later in the week. I would hate to cause a bigger problem:(

Yeah, it's rare to find reasonable Cali folk, but for the most part, you got with him for reasons other than typical southern CA steez, right? Just bring it up in a calm manner. You'll be aight.

Im Californian, and have traveled to most of the (non southern) states. I don't think we have an inordinate amount of rude people..."Hey how are you?" is just another way of saying, "Hey!" when you pass someone.

kaits108

Relationships are about compromise. It depends on what it is & whether or not it's a deal breaker. If it's just a minor annoyance, I'd say let it go. I'm sure you do things that irk him too. We all do. It's about the bigger picture & whether or not that peron truly makes you happy & whether or not they make you a better person. Good luck!

I totally agree! Everyone is going to have their quirks, and it's just a matter of if you can be okay with him doing it or if it's a deal breaker for you. I would definitely talk to him about it and get his side of the issue and maybe he can explain it to you in a way that will make you feel better about it, if not, then if he does it once or twice a year is that okay with you? Good luck!