PTSD..

krissagirl0709

Not sure if the PTSD is gone...

So my daughters dad did alot of emotional mean things to me and It badly affected me..while I know I am alot better now I dont know if I can ever get completely over it. HIs mom tutors me in math and we have always got along for the most part. But my daughters dad and me didnt talk for 3 and a half years..and now we see each other when hes home from college and it is the most akward time ever..I dont know what to do I dont think it will ever get better the situation just makes me annoyed..I want to know what I did so wrong that he treated me so bad in the first place I was only 16 when I got pregnant and we have both acknowledged that we were each others first love and had a giant talk which helped for the time being but now its just we cant talk we cant look at each other..we both know we were way to young to have went through what we did but I dont know its just akward and I get annoyed by the past still because I feel like I will never get out all the things that bothered me for that long and I cant bring them up to him because Its been so long now and Id look really bad but I dont think Im ever going to get over it.. I am super happy about 90% of the time but the times when it bothers me it can really get at me.. I just want to be super happy and not have to feel bad about it..I dont get why he hated me for so long because he said I was clingy but I only did what he asked me to..he has bipolar by the way and was in a mania when all this happened.. I usually cant vent about this and I figured here would be an okay place..

Heatherbelle_87

That is a very hard thing to overcome and no, you never fully recover from something like that. But you learn to take it day by day and embrace the happiness so it will shine more on your cloudy days.

Having gone through A LOT in my personal life, especially the path the led to me being a single mom and after, the best advice I can give you is

Become Happy with yourself and your life NOW because the only way to make it better is to make it happier.

Happiness will make coping easier. Realizing you can be totally independant and not have the past matter, will make things better.

johnnieb

I don't have anything helpful, but I wanted to send you a big hug! (((((hug)))))

spottedlee

That is a very hard thing to overcome and no, you never fully recover from something like that. But you learn to take it day by day and embrace the happiness so it will shine more on your cloudy days.

I have to agree with her. I was in a near fatal car accident 11 years ago. PTSD was diagnonised (sp?) I still have flashbacks when something spooks me as I drive.

Like that poster said,,, take one day at a time.

sarah307

I also have PTSD ... wanted to give you some hugs too

<hugs>

krissagirl0709

Does it ever go away? Or will I forever have PTSD? I want to get over the past so badly it makes me feel crazy to still look at the past..

dlyeates

You may have self esteem issues for a long time. Not sure if PTSD is the correct diagnosis but it's very similar......you were damaged emotionally. I would highly recommend seeing a counselor and learning how to love yourself. You may never have a great relationship with your daughter's father and it may always be strained. As for what you did.....probably nothing. He was young too and young people don't always know how to be nice or appropriate in relationships.

You have to learn to love and accept yourself, stop looking to people for approval and your self worth because you will be let down, and work on building up your strengths and focusing on those so that you can start being strong again.

Bloomsday

Does it ever go away? Or will I forever have PTSD? I want to get over the past so badly it makes me feel crazy to still look at the past..

I'll send you a private message.

krissagirl0709

I do love myself now and im trying super hard to make a great life for my kids im a fulltime social work student and I LOVE helping people. its just the occasional feeling that comes back..I dont feel as angry as I used to at him I have accepted it was the past but I just feel down when I have to be around him and stuff and lately Ive had to be around him more then usual..

Kandace_Riopel

I also suffer from PTSD. i have had MANY different events over the years to attribute it to! .... I had a near critical nervous breakdown at one point in my life and when I found out that my own father wasn't going to help me I came to realize that I had to just let it go. Like you I had ALOT of stuff built up inside me that I HAD to get out. I couldn't walk around and be happy with that much hate and hurt inside me. So I wrote letters/emails where I could and where I couldn't ( a friend of mine committed suicide and I couldn't contact others ) I wrote them letters and than I burned them in a fire. It was a VERY important moment in my life as i watched the smoke rise and knew that it was carrying all my thoughts and words that I had carried inside me up and away from me so that I could move ahead with my life and just be happy! Hope that helps shine some light!

krissagirl0709

Thats a really cool thing you did with the letters. I have been writing alot to get it out..and I have truely stopped hating him because I think that hurt me WAY more, actually I know it hurt me more. I used to not be able to talk to his parents or anyone that communicated with him because Id have breakdowns. I dont cry about it anymore just certain things bother me.

Thomasm198

Does it ever go away? Or will I forever have PTSD? I want to get over the past so badly it makes me feel crazy to still look at the past..

It never really goes away. It will always be there. You just have to learn to cope with it.

<---- speaking from experience here.

MissMollieK

Does it ever go away? Or will I forever have PTSD? I want to get over the past so badly it makes me feel crazy to still look at the past..

Yes it will get easier. You won't lose the memories- your mind is like a file cabinet and you can always access that stuff, it will just bring on less emotions each time you return to the memories. By the way - I also have PTSD and other diagnosis' . With professional help- over the last 10 or more years, I have found the strength to get up each day and find a purpose to those days. Not every day is easy, but with support you will manage to find each day a little better. Soon you can be a help to others-start trying to see something good in each of your days, even if its small. Hindsight is 20/20- at least I've learned this in many of my experiences. I now see good in things I never saw more than nightmares. If you ever need to vent- send me a message:)

lalalalyndsey

My mom has been diagnosed with PTSD and she has recently been doing this vibration treatment. I'm unsure what it is called, but you can probably look it up. She says it's helped her a lot and that they use it with a lot of soldiers who have PTSD. Basically what it is is that you hold these two things in your hands that vibrate consecutively while you relive your traumatic experience(s). It is supposed to trigger something in your brain to better help you process and deal with whatever happened.

Wish you the best of luck!

MissMollieK

My mom has been diagnosed with PTSD and she has recently been doing this vibration treatment. I'm unsure what it is called, but you can probably look it up. She says it's helped her a lot and that they use it with a lot of soldiers who have PTSD. Basically what it is is that you hold these two things in your hands that vibrate consecutively while you relive your traumatic experience(s). It is supposed to trigger something in your brain to better help you process and deal with whatever happened.

Wish you the best of luck!

is this like biofeedback?

persephone87

I have PTSD too, I have had it for 3 years but it went undiagnosed until 3 months ago. I'm on the waiting list for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which is supposed to help PTSD but also something I read about called EMDR which is meant to help but I have no experience of that personally. I think PTSD does become manageable with time and support. I'm sorry to hear your suffering I know how horrific it can be ((((hugs))))