Weird situation, would you have handled it any different?

500lbs2marathon

Interesting story from yesterday... I was at Marshalls looking thru the clothes, and there were 2 young guys looking at the same rack too. They took this shirt off the rack and held it up, it was a size 6x shirt, and they started joking about how big it was. they turned to me and saw me looking at them, I said yeah, thats a big shirt, just kinda hard for me to joke about it seeing I used to wear that size. One guy said to me, seriously?

I explained to him how I used to be almost 500lbs, and I showed them my before pic on my phone. Their mouths both literally dropped and were in total disbelief! They at first apologized, and I said it was fine, Im just glad that Im no longer needing that size, but still hard to joke about it since I was once there.

My question to the MFP forums, if this had happened to you, would you have handled it differently? How and why? Just curious, cause this was the first time something like this has happened to me.

Sidesteal

Hard to put into context since I don't share your experience or accomplishments. I probably wouldn't have said anything, however in this case it looks like it worked out well and I bet those guys will probably be a bit more considerate in the future.

EDIT: And congrats!

bklyngirl71

maybe they learned their leasson about commenting on sizes of clothing. you never know who would be around when they would be joking. i think you handled with grace!

Larius

I think you handled it quite well. I might have added that while some people become overweight through carelessness, others may have been sick and had no choice.

BeeElMarvin

I think you handled it well. I probably would have just ignored them and gone off angry - not as healthy as the way you handled it, sorry to say.

Sweet13_Princess

Well, you could have kept silent or you could have shared.

I know you felt slightly embarassed sharing your story with strangers, but I think you should feel really proud of yourself and how much you've accomplished.

Who knows, maybe those young men have some sort of issue that they're dealing with and success with your weight loss journey may have been just what they needed to hear.

*pat on the back*

Shannon

allierae14

I think you handled it well. You taught them a life lesson, which is something I am sure they will never forget.

noneya2010

Interesting story from today... I was at Marshalls looking thru the clothes, and there were 2 young guys looking at the same rack too. They took this shirt off the rack and held it up, it was a size 6x shirt, and they started joking about how big it was. they turned to me and saw me looking at them, I said yeah, thats a big shirt, just kinda hard for me to joke about it seeing I used to wear that size. One guy said to me, seriously?

I explained to him how I used to be almost 500lbs, and I showed them my before pic on my phone. Their mouths both literally dropped and were in total disbelief! They at first apologized, and I said it was fine, Im just glad that Im no longer needing that size, but still hard to joke about it since I was once there.

My question to the MFP forums, if this had happened to you, would you have handled it differently? How and why? Just curious, cause this was the first time something like this has happened to me.

I think you handled it fabulously. I hate, hate HATE to hear how people are mocked and put down for their size and even in a situation like that where it is an article of clothing they were making fun of, I think it made a good point to them in a way in which they could relate to without putting them down. By sharing your story with them, you made it "real" to them and I bet they will think twice before they say something like that again.

McKayMachina

Sounds like you took it as an opportunity to educate them. Also, you didn't get all offended and cop an attitude. Sounds like it went well.

mleoni092708

Good for you! I think what you said humbled them and they will be more thoughtful next time when "judging" people for being overweight.

JNettie73

I think the way you handled it was perfectly done. If I were in your situation, I don't know what I would have said or done.

Congrats on your loss!

kidtechnical

I think you dealt with it really well :-) It doesn't sound like you pushed your story on them, it just came up and they've learned from it (hopefully).

ritaadkins2002

i think u handled it the right way....and it is hard ...some people doesn;t understand ...if they were in our shoes, they would see how hard it could be being this big. But there are alot of people who still from this day make fun of big people, and they shouldn't .u done the right thing.

fbmandy55

I tend to have a sense of humor about anything. I've pulled clothes out of my own closet and compared them to camping gear so I can't say I would have been offended. I think you did handle it well and showing them your own success story probably gave them a little life lesson.

:happy:

iAMaPhoenix

Perfect solution...I do the same thing when I am around people who speak Creole which is the language of my mother's homeland, Haiti. I once had a lady who was blasting my son about how he was acting like a spoiled brat, which he was at the time. You should see the look of shame and surprise on her face when I responded to her in Creole. Goes to show, not everything is as it appears at face value...

bry_all01

I love that you shared with them. I think you handled it with finesse that only you could. Now, they may actually THINK before poking fun at others.

Bronx_Montgomery

I think you handled it perfectly. Most people would have stayed quiet or went off the handle but you stayed calmed. Explained your story and how you use to be there and maybe inspired them in a way. You showed them that they shouldn't make fun of those who are overweight but possibly help them. You showed them that it can be done with support and motivation. If anything they will look at the world differently then they did.

I applaud you Gary!!

Kelly_Wilson1990

I think you handled it wonderfully!!! Kudos to you for making them think about their actions without condemnation.

Caperfae

How you handled it was perfect, in my opinion.
I'm shy and probably wouldn't have said anything but I live how you went about it and showed a before picture.

Served them up some humble pie. Maybe they will think twice before making comments like that in the future.

Congratulations on your accomplishment!!

unmitigatedbadassery

I think you handled it just fine. It's always better to educate than to beat the s*** out them.

benodie

you handled it perfectly in my opinion! I would probably have lost my temper or thrown a sarky comment their way . .which would be completely wrong :embarassed: . . well done you probably educated them!

HUGE congrats on your acheivements by the way! :bigsmile:

ThePhoenixRose

i agree with the general consensus here. You handled it really well, and i don't think i could have handled it any better.

Lulu2929

I think you handled it beautifully, and congratulations on your achievements, you are truly an inspiration.

500lbs2marathon

Thanx everyone... I was just really thinking about it alot this morning and last night... Was replaying it in my head, and wasnt sure if maybe I shoudlve just let it go without saying anything.. But I guess I made the right choice by doing what I did..

email4jenp

I think you handled it wonderfully! Sometimes, people who haven't been there before, don't know any better (well, yes they do) but they REALLY, REALLY don't know. I'm glad you shared with them, told them about your journey and showed them photos. It was good that you could share yourself and your experience with them. They will certainly remember this from here on out and I'm betting your story has been told several times over already by these two.

StaceyL76

I say good for you!

I am not sure I would have said anything. It really would depend on my mood. I think it is GREAT that you said something. I think those guys may have learned something from it.

Your accomplishments are amazing and so are you!

chyloet

Wait, were they making insensitive fat people jokes or were they just joking about how big the shirt was? From your post it sounds like they were just joking about how big the shirt was ... which I wouldn't have percieved as offensive.

One time my BFF and I put on a pair of pants that was so big that we each fit in one leg of the pants and we hopped around. We weren't making fun of people who happen to be oversized (in fact, we weren't thinking about the person who might've fit into those pants at all), we were just playing with the pants cuz they were so big. It hadn't even occurred to me that it might have been perceived as insensitive until I read your post.

Regardless, I think the right answer is to do whatever you felt comfortable with and I agree with other responders who noted that it seemed to work out well. So, therein lies your answer. :-)

johnwhitent

Thanx everyone... I was just really thinking about it alot this morning and last night... Was replaying it in my head, and wasnt sure if maybe I shoudlve just let it go without saying anything.. But I guess I made the right choice by doing what I did..

I would have let it go and that would have been a missed opportunity; you handled it perfectly! Young people are often going to make fun of anyone different from them (size, race, gender, you name it,) that's life. But I bet your story will impact them in years to come even if they forget about it. You gently contributed to helping young people mature. Good on you!

chanstriste13

kudos to you! i think it was clever, appropriate and ballsy. well done!

pixlamarque

As with everyone else, I think you handled it well. I probably would have said nothing, but that is because I generally never speak to strangers (esp annoying ones). I just assume they are stupid and leave them to it. I think your way is certainly better. You were nice to them and whether or not they were making fun of the shirt or the person that would wear it, I think they probably learned something beneficial from their experience.

On a side note, I've been meaning to email you and say thank you for the help you gave me a while back with getting started running. I started, had an injury, started again, got sick, and now I am once again restarting. Since I have had so much down time I won't be running the 5K in Nov that I had planned, but I am going to walk it. I found a great app for C25K for my phone and does all the counting for me with audible cues. I got fitted for real running shoes, which was a huge improvement over what I had before, and I bought a HRM which has also been a big help. Thanks for inspiring me to get off my *kitten*. :flowerforyou:

ClascyParra

Gary...You handled it wonderfully! I take any opportunity to discuss weight loss and fitness (you know that!)
I dont know if I ever told you the story about Louis. Right after we got married we were back at my parents' house cleaning out my old bedroom. While I was in my closet he walks in and says "OH MAN is that an ugly pattern for sheets!" I had no idea what he was talking about...so of course I say "what's an ugly pattern?" He says " the black sheets with the bright flowers". I turn around and realized that it wasn't sheets that he was talking about but one of my dresses from when I was at my heaviest. I laughed it off because at that time I was down to 135 pounds (105 pounds lost at the time) and knew I was not going to go back to wearing my "sheets".