I am an emotional wreck!

His_Kelly

I have had a hard time overcoming my emotions lately and have lost motivation to do much. I just got married in the end of December, but my husband and I do not even live in the same state! To make a long story short, when we initially planned the wedding, I was supposed to graduate college in the beginning of December. But, my course schedule got messed up and instead of graduating in December, I am graduating in May. By the time we found this out, it was too late to cancel any wedding plans. So, my husband lives in Indiana (where he goes to college at Notre Dame), and I am finishing school in Wisconsin. I was originally supposed to move to Indiana with him.

We will only get to see eachother once every three weeks or so until May because neither of us can afford the cost of traveling any more than that.

I feel so depressed lately and I am having a hard time not looking to food to fill my emptiness. Everything with our wedding was so nice and perfect. Our honeymoon was wonderful. For the longest time I was looking forward to our wedding and finally living with my husband. I felt like I was on a high from everything. Now, I feel like everything has come crashing down on me. I feel so alone and like I don't have much to look forward to anymore.

My weakness is using food as comfort. I am so afraid I will lose all the ground I have gained and I am just beside myself. I feel so pitiful for not being able to handle this better.

His_Kelly

I have had a hard time overcoming my emotions lately and have lost motivation to do much. I just got married in the end of December, but my husband and I do not even live in the same state! To make a long story short, when we initially planned the wedding, I was supposed to graduate college in the beginning of December. But, my course schedule got messed up and instead of graduating in December, I am graduating in May. By the time we found this out, it was too late to cancel any wedding plans. So, my husband lives in Indiana (where he goes to college at Notre Dame), and I am finishing school in Wisconsin. I was originally supposed to move to Indiana with him.

We will only get to see eachother once every three weeks or so until May because neither of us can afford the cost of traveling any more than that.

I feel so depressed lately and I am having a hard time not looking to food to fill my emptiness. Everything with our wedding was so nice and perfect. Our honeymoon was wonderful. For the longest time I was looking forward to our wedding and finally living with my husband. I felt like I was on a high from everything. Now, I feel like everything has come crashing down on me. I feel so alone and like I don't have much to look forward to anymore.

My weakness is using food as comfort. I am so afraid I will lose all the ground I have gained and I am just beside myself. I feel so pitiful for not being able to handle this better.

Wolfena

You're not alone... you have a wonderful husband who is supporting your education, loves you and is patiently waiting for you to be with him.

5 months is NOTHING in the course of a lifetime... May'll be here before you know it

I know, my comments won't "fix" your feelings - but try looking at your life from someone else's point of view. You are a very lucky woman to have what you do!

shenitamo

You HAVE to be proud of yourslef for already losing over 40 pounds! How great for you!
It is completely natural to want the process of school and "life" to speed up, but try not to let something out of your control send you completely over the edge. The GOOD thing is that you miss your husband!!!! That is great that you have found someone in your life that you want to spend time with so badly that you feel like this.
Keep up the good work that I know you are alrady doing. I am a huge emotional eater too, but keeping busy with work and school and logging on here when I feel crappy is helping.
Keep your chin up. As a couple this will make you stronger and appreciate the time you will have with each other soon enough-- and with a degree!
Take care.

Natural

sorry you're going through a tough time. it seems like this is a temporary situation, so maybe you can look at it that way. it will not be like this forever. there is really nothing that can be done about it, so please don't spend too much time worrying over something only time will fix. i know this may not help much dealing with the now, but being overly upset won't change it either.

maybe you can get a web cam so you can at least see your husband's face.

magitha_71

I know how you feel. My husband and I got married on New Years Eve in 89, he was supposed to be home until the end of January but at the last minute got new orders (he was in the Army) and had to leave for Germany 6 days after we got married. His Captain kept telling him not to worry I would be there very soon, let me tell you I do not consider 7 monthes and 14 days soon. You guys do get the chance to see each other every few weeks, so always stay focused and look forward to those special moments. The day that you guys get to be together for ever instead of having to go your seperate ways to get on with your life will be the happiest day you will ever experience. Thrive on your love for one another and know that this is only a minute in what seems like forever. My husband and I just celebrated our 19th anniversary so trust me it works!!!

lulubar

Yesssssss - a web cam is a great idea!!!! My son and his girlfriend are in separate states right now, and for the forseeable future and they use the web cam a LOT! It's not the same but, they can "be together" while they study or hang out. AND maybe you could motivate yourself to stay the course with calories and exercise by using web time as a reward for meeting your goals each day! You CAN do this and be happy....

Stay busy, feel the love you have in your marriage and be strong!!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

mpdpratima

May will be here before you know it! You are lucky to have found someone you love and he feels the same. AND you have already lost so much weight! Stay strong, time passes quickly and soon you will be together.

GIBride01

.

We will only get to see eachother once every three weeks or so until May because neither of us can afford the cost of traveling any more than that.

I feel so depressed lately and I am having a hard time not looking to food to fill my emptiness. Everything with our wedding was so nice and perfect. Our honeymoon was wonderful. For the longest time I was looking forward to our wedding and finally living with my husband. I felt like I was on a high from everything. Now, I feel like everything has come crashing down on me. I feel so alone and like I don't have much to look forward to anymore.

My weakness is using food as comfort. I am so afraid I will lose all the ground I have gained and I am just beside myself. I feel so pitiful for not being able to handle this better.

Been there done that, husband is in the Army, and I know there are a few other military wives on this site who know where you are coming from. My husband was gone for the first 9 months of my sons life, so I was working, living and raising my son alone. And food can be a comfort, especially when you are bored and lonely. But you have so much to look forward, this is only a brief time right? Then you have the rest of your lives to look forward too. Marriage, kids, traveling etc. Saying you have nothing to look forward to???? Think about how lucky you are to have a husband that is helping you meet your goals and cares enough about you and want you want to go through this brief seperation.

What always made me stop my pity parties when they really got going was to stop and think how lucky I really am. I have friends whose husbands are gone now on a third and fourth tour overseas, while raising 1,2, 3,4 etc kids. I have a friend whose husband is never coming home. You have your health, your family and a husband who loves you. Get up off the couch, put on your tennis shoes, take the dog for a walk (or yourself) and breathe some fresh air. And remember in a short time you will be cursing the man you are now missing so much for leaving his underwear on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. Trust me, it will happen

SammyD

I know exactly how you feel. My fiance and I did the long distance thing for 3 years and finally moved in together to go to school. I figured we had paid our dues and could put the distance thing behind us, but now he won't finish school until May and I just graduated and had to take a job, guess what...3 hours away!! Just like before!!
It's sucks. There is no other way around it, and you do feel sad. But guess what? The distance will actually make your relationship better. You will be so happy to see each other when you can, and once you make it to May all your worries will seem so silly.
You can do it. It may not seem like it now, but you can.

MisoSoup79

It looks like you have a little support group going on here! Use us for comfort instead of food!

I also have experience with separation. In 2006/07 I was gone for 8 months on a deployment while my fiance was home taking care of my cats! Now, he is on a deployment and I am home with the pets! He will not be back until May.

Being separated from your mate is one of the hardest things to live with... BUT... it can make your relationship stronger and it is only temporary. Remind yourself every night when you go to bed: "One more day down, one day closer to being with my man again."

Set a few goals for yourself that you can achieve during this time apart. They can be weight loss/fitness goals, or financial goals, or whatever... Give yourself something to work for during this time apart so that when it comes time to be together again, you can look back and be proud of yourself for all you accomplished while waiting for that moment!

Some days I feel hopelessly lost. But then I think about the times that we were together before he left and I find myself more grateful for having him in my life than anything else in the world. I write down little things that I miss, little things I took for granted when we were together, in the hopes that when he returns I will not forget how much I appreciate every moment I have with him.

You'll get through this, and if you need to talk, I'm here... and I'm SURE all these other gals on here would also be willing to lend an ear!

alin

Look at it this way. I can honestly say after 29 years of marriage, the 1st year was the hardest (the next 28 seem to have flown by) and I too was going to school at night finishing up an MBA and rarely saw my hubby that 1st year !

You will get thru it and your marriage will probably be stronger for it.

As far as emotional eating, I have done that for years as well, but recently have found some foods especially a lot of fruits like banana's, cantelope, and grapes have helped that as well! (perhaps because they are filling and sweet, substitute a little for the donuts and such!) So even though I too have had some stressful times over the past few months have lost 10 lbs, substituting fruits every time I was headed towards an emotional meltdown. (and thru the holiday season too).

ruesinger

in know how you feel. i just started on this web site and was gung ho about it yesterday but i stepped on the scale this morning and i gained a lb. and i worked my butt off yesterday at the gym. my emotions have been like a yoyo and im craving chocolate!!!! if i cud i would burry my tear in a bag of snickers. but we gatta try to keep a level head and an eye on the prize. soon the distance between you and your husband will be gone and you will have his support to help you when you are down. cheer up and hang in there. you have a community of support here too.