I've worked my butt off...

Duelltolose

So I've worked my butt off for a while now doing this. I have never felt better about myself. I never hear from my bf "your doing great", "I'm so proud of you" or anything like that.. I just get a nod..

I was told that him and I would make the greatest couple and one day we would get married. Also that he would treat me like a princess..

Well he did treat me like a princess.. No it's an on and off thing over and over again.. I see him treating other girls more and more like princesses than me. Whenever he says he loves me, it's quick and quiet so no one else hears. He never holds my hand anymore, or hugs me in front of others. It's like he's ashamed of me... What the heck did I do??

Every time he gets mad it's taken out on me. I still stick with him and try to make him happier. All the time. I never just leave him. If I do, it's because I cry real quick then go back to him.
If I'm mad, he stops talking and walks away until I apologize. Every fight is always my fault...

I'm sick of it. I want the boyfriend I had when I started dating him.

april_beth

why waste your time? go find one that does treat you like a princess. your life is too short to waste it on others that dont deserve you in the first place.

and yes, i speak from experience...im not just talking out my *kitten*.

FairyMiss

then dump him and go look for one

nirvana1

If it's really meant to be, then you should be able to say these things to him. I myself said these exact things to my boyfriend a few weeks back and things are slowly starting to improve ;-)
We are supposed to be getting married in 2013, but he rarely talks about it. It turns out the reason for this is because he actually feels inadequate and thinks because he can't afford to buy me the engagement ring I want he must be useless.
Good luck honey. Men sometimes need to be TOLD to appreciate us.

havingitall

First thing...it is not up to you to make him happy. That is something he has to do for himself.

Now picture yourself 15 years from now ...married with a son and daughter. Would you like your teenage children to think that is what a healthy happy relationship is? Or would you like them to realize that a healthy relationship is two independent people who are better together. Not a needy person clinging to the other.

Cut your losses now...there are much better men out there in the world. He may be good for somebody...but he isn't good for you.

I was married before to a man who treated other women well too...guess what...he slept with them too. Luckily, I am now married to a man who truly cherishes me and makes me feel loved and protected each and every day.

momma3sweetgirls

Move on. You're young. There are plenty of nice guys out there to treat you the way you want to be treated. I've been there, done that many times in my youth and I have no regrets. I'm so glad I didn't stay with a boyfriend from my teens. An 18 year old woman is light years ahead of an 18 year old in maturity - heck, even years ahead of most men in their 20s! Also, it's OK to NOT have a boyfriend.

BloomingLily

Just a few questions. Have you told him what you have just told us? If you have and nothing has changed, do you really want this for the rest of your life?

If you are constantly wondering where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking away.

INSANITY43

Hey Girl....You KNOW I love you so I'm going to give you the straight-up truth and that is that everything you say in this post are HUGE RED-FLAGS to end this relationship!!! I could have written this letter myself when I was your age (or a little younger) and I tried to make him happier till I nearly drove myself insane...you know how that all ended up for me. Talk to me in person or on FaceBook....Put a very high price on yourself.....Don't settle....You are a Princess ...Your Father is the KING! and being treated any less is NOT in His plan for you..... Love Ya Girl!

ProudMomoftwo

Time to kick him to the curb. Time for a BIG change.
You are young, attractive, and have a lot to offer the right guy.
Don't be afraid to be alone. Staying with someone just b/c you don't want to be alone is unhealthy.
Do it on your own and take pride in the fact that you can be choosy and have exactly what you want in life and in a bf.

You are amazing - don't forget it.

Keep pushing forward.

Captain_Mal

Yeah no need to waste any more time on this guy. Maybe he's already found someone else. Don't cry over him either, he's not going to cry over you....just remember that.

cobracars

Your happiness depends on you, not him. Just as you are not responsible to make him happy, he is not responsible to make you happy. If you constantly search for someone else to fulfill your happiness you will constantly be disappointed.
Yes he should treat you like a princess, just as you should treat him like a prince. The best and longest lasting relationships are equal on all fronts. You should experience happiness together.

Tangerine302

Sometimes people change. It's all part of growing up. As you get older your interests change. As you have more relationships, you see clearly as to what you want and don't want. That's why a lot of times you hear people say someone is too young for this or that. It's not that they are too young to know what feelings they have, it's probably because we all know our interests change so much and what you want then is totally different than what you want later on.
Good luck to you. Maybe he just needs to hear what you are feeling, then take it from there.

iNkedFiTmama

this.

why waste your time? go find one that does treat you like a princess. your life is too short to waste it on others that dont deserve you in the first place.

and yes, i speak from experience...im not just talking out my *kitten*.

Maryfullofgrace

So I've worked my butt off for a while now doing this. I have never felt better about myself. I never hear from my bf "your doing great", "I'm so proud of you" or anything like that.. I just get a nod..

I was told that him and I would make the greatest couple and one day we would get married. Also that he would treat me like a princess..

Well he did treat me like a princess.. No it's an on and off thing over and over again.. I see him treating other girls more and more like princesses than me. Whenever he says he loves me, it's quick and quiet so no one else hears. He never holds my hand anymore, or hugs me in front of others. It's like he's ashamed of me... What the heck did I do??

Every time he gets mad it's taken out on me. I still stick with him and try to make him happier. All the time. I never just leave him. If I do, it's because I cry real quick then go back to him.
If I'm mad, he stops talking and walks away until I apologize. Every fight is always my fault...

I'm sick of it. I want the boyfriend I had when I started dating him.

When I was younger and dating I got some big doses of the best advice I ever heard, and this advice was from men, and they were the most important pieces of advice I ever got when it comes to dating, friendships, relationships... life.

1. When you are dating someone, this IS their "best behavior".
2. If you feel like you are trying to hold up the world to make this relationship work, and no one is helping you hold up the world, it is not worth it. (Meaning if everyone who cares about you is saying dump him, then dump him. If everyone who loves you is helping you to make it work, then it is worth the work.)
3. If you feel like you are drowning or you are in deep water and you don't know how to swim, let go of the stone that is dragging you under.
4. If you thought he might have been a snake when you picked him up, why were you so surprised when he bit you?

Not saying that your man is a snake or horrible, but this IS his best behavior. And if this is acceptable then accept this would be your life if you are to marry him. When a relationship needs to be over and you are the only thing holding it up, of course you will cry and you will be sad. I am still sad for lots of relationships that didn't work... but I am glad they didn't work because I LEARNED how I needed to be loved and treated. The best way to learn is to make some mistakes.

Kalrez

Guess I'll say what everyone else is thinking but won't say.

Sounds like abuse to me. Lots of flags in your post that scream RUN THE F AWAY FROM THIS GUY!

Dump the arsehole. Yes, you'll be sad. You'll cry a bit. Then you'll move on. Better to do it now before he's completely broken your spirit and will.







And you're not a princess. You're a grown woman. Don't depend on a man (or anyone else for that matter) to save you and make you happy. That "I'm/You're a princess" crap makes me want to barf. It's cute when you're 3. Not cute when you're 23. I mean, I get the gist of what folks are trying to say, but still. Ick.

twinsanity

When I was younger and dating I got some big doses of the best advice I ever heard, and this advice was from men, and they were the most important pieces of advice I ever got when it comes to dating, friendships, relationships... life.

1. When you are dating someone, this IS their "best behavior".
2. If you feel like you are trying to hold up the world to make this relationship work, and no one is helping you hold up the world, it is not worth it. (Meaning if everyone who cares about you is saying dump him, then dump him. If everyone who loves you is helping you to make it work, then it is worth the work.)
3. If you feel like you are drowning or you are in deep water and you don't know how to swim, let go of the stone that is dragging you under.
4. If you thought he might have been a snake when you picked him up, why were you so surprised when he bit you?

Not saying that your man is a snake or horrible, but this IS his best behavior. And if this is acceptable then accept this would be your life if you are to marry him. When a relationship needs to be over and you are the only thing holding it up, of course you will cry and you will be sad. I am still sad for lots of relationships that didn't work... but I am glad they didn't work because I LEARNED how I needed to be loved and treated. The best way to learn is to make some mistakes.

^^^This!

Duelltolose

Well I told him this morning because he knew something was wrong.. I tried to tell him, but it's hard when you start shaking so bad and start to cry. So he was upset the rest of day. And I think were about to talk about what all has been going on. So I'm hoping to fix things.