Fear of Success??

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goochinator
goochinator Posts: 383 Member
in Motivation and Support
Has anyone ever heard of this? I've been doing some reading on it to see if this is what prevents me from reaching a goal I've wanted badly for more than half my life...I do incredibly well, then bam! nothing happens/something happens and I go back to my old habits and undo my hard work...

I've heard it has to do with low self esteem, developed in childhood- some theories state that its because one might not believe they 'deserve' success.

Any thoughts on this?

Replies

  • goochinator
    goochinator Posts: 383 Member
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    Has anyone ever heard of this? I've been doing some reading on it to see if this is what prevents me from reaching a goal I've wanted badly for more than half my life...I do incredibly well, then bam! nothing happens/something happens and I go back to my old habits and undo my hard work...

    I've heard it has to do with low self esteem, developed in childhood- some theories state that its because one might not believe they 'deserve' success.

    Any thoughts on this?
  • réalta
    réalta Posts: 895 Member
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    this is something i struggle with...

    i think, and i dont have any qualifications to back this up, just starting my studies in childhood education, but...

    i think that when i try 110% and do everything in my power to succeed, i think well what if its not enough, so

    sometimes, i only do what is absolutely necessary, then if i fail, i can tell myself that i didnt try hard enough, but if i try 110% and fail, i only have myself to blame

    does this make sense? :noway:
  • mandersen16
    mandersen16 Posts: 261
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    That happens with me sometimes. I definitely do NOT fear success.

    It's just EASIER to go back to the old way of life.

    One problem i have is if I know I am doing well then i think I can slack a little. :devil: My ticker used to show how much weight total I've lost. I'm changing it to put in how many pounds i have left to lose, hoping that will show me I haven't gotten to where I need to be yet.

    I can blame my childhood all I want for how I act but that doesn't really help you change. I think you just have to realize you do it and figure out how to overcome it. Like me, I feel like I'm doing well, so I let go a little. Realizing I haven't reach my goal yet, and taking a picture of myself and looking at it, makes me realize I'm not yet where I want to be and get myself back on track.

    Also, try making yourself goals. Break them down into little pieces and accomplish them slowly, maybe that will keep you motivated. Good luck!! :flowerforyou:
  • ggooding12
    ggooding12 Posts: 53
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    This is why you need to tell yourself that you are worth it, because you really are. If you are being told other wise, that is not OK!!! I would also suggest counceling. You can never really get over the issue till you find the root cause of it. Then you can begin the healing process and move on.
  • DjBliss05
    DjBliss05 Posts: 682
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    This is totally what I do.

    I have read up a little on the subject, too.

    My thing is that I can lose weight up until I am about to hit a goal and then I miraculously can't lose anymore. In fact, I tend to gain a bit back after. My other stop sign is when people start to comment on the loss. It is so frustrating and I have yet to find a way to get past it, except to just keep on keeping on after I have one of those breaks where I stop losing.

    I think the key is to find ways to build up self-esteem without losing weight and to really, truely believe that the only person we are doing this for is ourselves. When I get in that head space, I tend to be able to lose weight. Like I said, I am still learning how to deal with this for myself, but this is the conclusion I have come to.
  • gperry227
    gperry227 Posts: 93
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    I do the same exact thing. I have never been sure why I did it. I feel like if I fail at it then I just failed. I appreciate your honesty. Makes me feel better that other people feel the same I do.

    Question for everyone: I change my goals when I lose weight. WHY on earth when I change my goals, does it lower my calories???!!!! I get frustrated!
  • gperry227
    gperry227 Posts: 93
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    I do the same exact thing. I have never been sure why I did it. I feel like if I fail at it then I just failed. I appreciate your honesty. Makes me feel better that other people feel the same I do.

    Question for everyone: I change my goals when I lose weight. WHY on earth when I change my goals, does it lower my calories???!!!! I get frustrated!
  • gsschulte
    gsschulte Posts: 79 Member
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    yes i totally understand that. it sometimes gets to the point that you feel it was so much easier to be fat and lazy than to watch every move you make so that you reach this goal that is totally unheardof in your life. I treat it like any dependancy, one day at a time. every morning i wake up and tell myself that i will do my best that day. seems to work out for the most part.
  • onmyway2beingme
    onmyway2beingme Posts: 7
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    I absolutely have this problem! It's not that I don't think I deserve success, at least not on a conscious level. I worry more about how I will handle it if it ever comes. I worry that I'll go a little crazy with a brand new smokin' hot bod, or if I'll go back to my old ways and gain it back along with a good bit more. I worry that my body won't look that way that I'd like it to, especially since things are very stretched out and baggy right now anyway. If anyone knows how to get rid of this problem, please, by all means, let me in on the secret!

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  • goochinator
    goochinator Posts: 383 Member
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    This is totally what I do.

    My other stop sign is when people start to comment on the loss. It is so frustrating and I have yet to find a way to get past it, except to just keep on keeping on after I have one of those breaks where I stop losing.

    I read about this too on the Weight Watchers chat board..for some, being overweight means being somewhat 'invisible' so to speak...people often didnt see the person, they saw the fat. Once people start noticing that there is a person behind the fat and make positive comments, it can often 'scare' a person back in to wanting to 'hide' behind the fat that's acted as a barrier for so long.
    Does this make sense? I've read about that from people with 200 lbs to lose as well as 10 lbs to lose...
    How complicated our minds are, eh?
  • goochinator
    goochinator Posts: 383 Member
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    By the way- here's the article I found on Fear of Success-

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/14659-handling-fear-of-success/

    There are some mental excercises on it...but I'm afraid to do those too, if I get past the fear of succes, then I'll be expected to actually succeed...and what if I cant?

    Geez, I annoy myself sometimes- why do I think so much??:noway:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    By the way- here's the article I found on Fear of Success-

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/14659-handling-fear-of-success/

    There are some mental excercises on it...but I'm afraid to do those too, if I get past the fear of succes, then I'll be expected to actually succeed...and what if I cant?

    Geez, I annoy myself sometimes- why do I think so much??:noway:

    Great article (I save it to read a bit later) and steps to move ahead ..thanks so much for sharing it!:flowerforyou: I'm looking forward to reading more of it later in the day.:drinker:

    FC:heart:

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