why so many judgemental people on this site?

pettmybunny

Alright what did Max do now.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

ROFLMBO!!!!!

Fitness_Chick

I thought it was for support, not for personal attacks, why is it that I'm seeing and reading people's comments, thinking it's perfectly ok, to not only attack someones choices in life but to actually tell someone that they need professional help? or let alone how to parent their own children? the old adage think before you speak comes to mind....seems like a few people have no clue what that means.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

I'm so sorry you've felt judged here:flowerforyou: ...I recall one of your earlier posts from just the other day, so many of us were very very worried about you after you shared what you did.

You were really scared and greatly concerned when you posted about your health, behavior, and your daughter learning the ED behavior from you...I think the other thread you mentioned... about folks judging you... I know the folks there that posted that...and I think I can say I read concern not judgement when I saw the posts, I really think folks on here genuilly care about one another, if someone brings up something in their life others gather round to comfort and offer help.

If nothing had been brought up about your ED you were worried about then it would perhaps have been out of line but after rereading the posts I see it more a kind caring group of folks that are wanting nothing but the best for you Hon!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Sometimes when we open up and share something very personal and then folks reach out, we often feel the need to pull back & become ultra sensitive (don't know if that's what's happening here but I know sometimes it can) perhaps that's what's happened? I'm here to cheer you:drinker: on in good health...but I had tears in my eyes as did many others when reading your original post it was very very scary to read how a fellow member on MFP was going thru such a scary sad time.

Pleae be extra kind to yourself , you SO deserve it, as we all do...judging ourselves or others is not helpful I agree (but like I shared I really don't think that was any of the intentions of those that shared on that other thread ) and I am guilty in life of sometimes letting things slip, and I pretty much always regret it almost immediately.

Warm hugs,
FC

keiko

I am one who has suggested that people seek help. I cannot encourage an already underweight girl to become skinnier. I've seen the physical affects of anorexia and the emotional effects on the family.
ED is not only about the person suffering but those that love them too.

I have never meant to be judgemental towards you or anyone else. But when someone calls for help I tend to act on it and not encourage them to keep going on the same path that is causing them pain.

I am sorry that you have taken my posts in a way I did not mean them.
Kelly

Fitness_Chick

I am one who has suggested that people seek help. I cannot encourage an already underweight girl to become skinnier. I've seen the physical affects of anorexia and the emotional effects on the family.
ED is not only about the person suffering but those that love them too.

I have never meant to be judgemental towards you or anyone else. But when someone calls for help I tend to act on it and not encourage them to keep going on the same path that is causing them pain.

I am sorry that you have taken my posts in a way I did not mean them.
Kelly

:flowerforyou:

Marla64

Keiko-- you subversive-- you causin' trouble? :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

cheermom11

That's one bad thing about the internet - you can't always determine the tone or the intention of what is written.

I this community! I hope you will learn to love it too.

arewethereyet

I am one who has suggested that people seek help. I cannot encourage an already underweight girl to become skinnier. I've seen the physical affects of anorexia and the emotional effects on the family.
ED is not only about the person suffering but those that love them too.

I have never meant to be judgemental towards you or anyone else. But when someone calls for help I tend to act on it and not encourage them to keep going on the same path that is causing them pain.

I am sorry that you have taken my posts in a way I did not mean them.
Kelly

:smokin:

arewethereyet

I am one who has suggested that people seek help. I cannot encourage an already underweight girl to become skinnier. I've seen the physical affects of anorexia and the emotional effects on the family.
ED is not only about the person suffering but those that love them too.

I have never meant to be judgemental towards you or anyone else. But when someone calls for help I tend to act on it and not encourage them to keep going on the same path that is causing them pain.

I am sorry that you have taken my posts in a way I did not mean them.
Kelly

Kelly, I feel if we exposes ourselves on an open forum, and ask the opinion of strangers, then we should accept that opinion and move on.

I did not feel your remarks were mean spirited, and actually were of a loving a caring tone. Now that is MY opinion.

I called myself a fat, ugly, pig almost every day of the 1st 12 yrs of my daughters life.

One day a stranger heard me say I was a fatass...or something like that. She pointed out that someone had just told my then 14 yr old daughter she looked JUST like me, what does that tell my daughter about herself?

arewethereyet

I am one who has suggested that people seek help. I cannot encourage an already underweight girl to become skinnier. I've seen the physical affects of anorexia and the emotional effects on the family.
ED is not only about the person suffering but those that love them too.

I have never meant to be judgemental towards you or anyone else. But when someone calls for help I tend to act on it and not encourage them to keep going on the same path that is causing them pain.

I am sorry that you have taken my posts in a way I did not mean them.
Kelly

my computer is messed up and uploaded my remarks before I was ready, then did it 3 times!!:laugh:

What I was saying is that what we say and do in front of our children DOES have an effect on them. If we say we are fat, and we are thin-they will view themselves the same way.

I stopped calling myself names at that time-but the dmg was done. My daughter is a beautiful well adjusted adult that I love very much.

debra1962

I love being able to tallk to someone on here. I need all the help I can get on this.

debi

Fitness_Chick

I love being able to tallk to someone on here. I need all the help I can get on this.

debi

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Starrotts

:flowerforyou: im glad i missed the drama life is enough drama for me without other ****......lol............:blushing:

Fitness_Chick

Keiko-- you subversive-- you causin' trouble? :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

nah no trouble from Keiko EVER:flowerforyou: She was offering help and sadly it was misunderstood

Fitness_Chick

That's one bad thing about the internet - you can't always determine the tone or the intention of what is written.

I this community! I hope you will learn to love it too.

:flowerforyou: :drinker:

Fitness_Chick

:flowerforyou: im glad i missed the drama life is enough drama for me without other ****......lol............:blushing:

no drama was missed:flowerforyou:

kerrilucko

I did not read the post where she was seeking answers about EDs. The post I read, which did refer to someone seeking professional help, was in an unrelated thread wherein an MFP member was seeking good, healthy snack ideas, and trying to determine her own healthy goal weight. I can understand saying something like that when the person has brought up the issue, but she didn't do that in that post and to be honest I found it kind of rude also. There are nicer ways to says things, there are also more private ways- such as through private messages. I don't think anyone intentionally meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and I hope everyone else realizes that too. That's just my 2 cents.

1Corinthians13

Wow, I missed something too. I have only seen encouragement and love on these boards.

Marla64

Keiko-- you subversive-- you causin' trouble? :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

nah no trouble from Keiko EVER:flowerforyou: She was offering help and sadly it was misunderstood

yeah-- I was just teasin' -- Keiko's my buddy-- she's sweet, loving, warm and wise-- anything she ever says, any counsel given, opinions felt are always conveyed, in my experience, with only the best heartfelt intentions-- I got your back, Keiko.

Fitness_Chick

Keiko-- you subversive-- you causin' trouble? :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

nah no trouble from Keiko EVER:flowerforyou: She was offering help and sadly it was misunderstood

yeah-- I was just teasin' -- Keiko's my buddy-- she's sweet, loving, warm and wise-- anything she ever says, any counsel given, opinions felt are always conveyed, in my experience, with only the best heartfelt intentions-- I got your back, Keiko.

Hey what about my back Chickie!:noway: :flowerforyou:

Mike

Just a reminder - if you see a post where someone has attacked/insulted/belittled another user, you can use the Report Abuse button to let me know. I'll take a look as quickly as I can and see if the post warrants any action. If it does violate our forum rules, I'll either remove the post, warn the user who posted it, or even ban them if the violation is bad enough.

Basically, the report abuse button is a way to let me know if something bad has happened on the message boards. As you can imagine, there are a ton of posts happening constantly on the site, and there's no way I could read them all, so I rely on all of you to help alert me when a bad post has been made. Once you file a report, I get notified and will take a look as soon as I can.

Attacking or insulting other users on the message boards is definitely against the forum rules. The message boards are here so that you can find support from other members, not insults, so we definitely want to ensure that the environment remains positive.

However, please also be aware that using the Report Abuse button is the only acceptable way to handle an attack from another user. For example, if you decide to attack/insult back, then you are as guilty of breaking the forum rules as the original attacker. You may not insult another user, even if you are just defending yourself or defending a friend.

You can see the full forum rules at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/14924-forum-rules-please-read-before-posting

Overall, the message boards are really a great place. I'm constantly amazed at how many incredible people we have posting on the site. These rules are just in place to make sure that the message board remain a positive experience for everyone on the site.

If you have any questions, just let me know. Hope you are all enjoying the site!

Marla64

Keiko-- you subversive-- you causin' trouble? :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

nah no trouble from Keiko EVER:flowerforyou: She was offering help and sadly it was misunderstood

yeah-- I was just teasin' -- Keiko's my buddy-- she's sweet, loving, warm and wise-- anything she ever says, any counsel given, opinions felt are always conveyed, in my experience, with only the best heartfelt intentions-- I got your back, Keiko.

Hey what about my back Chickie!:noway: :flowerforyou:

From here to eternity, friend-- :smooched:

alf1163

I thought it was for support, not for personal attacks, why is it that I'm seeing and reading people's comments, thinking it's perfectly ok, to not only attack someones choices in life but to actually tell someone that they need professional help? or let alone how to parent their own children? the old adage think before you speak comes to mind....seems like a few people have no clue what that means.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

I do remember the posts where you felt you were being "attacked". I was thinking to myself "geez, leave her alone, she was just posting her own suggestions!!!" But then again people can say what they want to say and we just have to take it or not take with a grain of salt. I think you look terrific!!!! Keep up the good work and dont get discouraged by some posts you might see here. Most people are very supportive and caring. :flowerforyou: