I've lost 17 lbs in under 3 weeks...

pinkpixies

I've gone from 306 to 289...but it's not really a good thing, I mean...it kinda is...but I don't know...I've completely relapsed in my eating disorder...I've been not eating all day...and then eating a small dinner around 9 pm and purging that...I tried explaining to my psych np today how I've been struggling lately...with the constant anxiety and obsessive thoughts...but she's clueless. *sighs* She did change me from Neurontin to Lamictal though...hopefully it will help stabilize my mood a bit. I don't go back to my out patient eating disorders clinic for another week...for some reason, they switched me from once a week to once every two weeks...right when I'm struggling...oh well.:frown:

pinkpixies

I've gone from 306 to 289...but it's not really a good thing, I mean...it kinda is...but I don't know...I've completely relapsed in my eating disorder...I've been not eating all day...and then eating a small dinner around 9 pm and purging that...I tried explaining to my psych np today how I've been struggling lately...with the constant anxiety and obsessive thoughts...but she's clueless. *sighs* She did change me from Neurontin to Lamictal though...hopefully it will help stabilize my mood a bit. I don't go back to my out patient eating disorders clinic for another week...for some reason, they switched me from once a week to once every two weeks...right when I'm struggling...oh well.:frown:

songbyrdsweet

I'm so sorry.
I haven't seen you around lately. I'd love for you to come here more so we can at least offer some moral support. :flowerforyou: Have you been exercising? That can help improve your mood as well. Just make sure that you won't use it to purge, and try to eat more. If you eat more, you can exercise, and both of those things will help you feel better.
Hang in there for just a few more days and then maybe you can ask to see the clinic more often. :flowerforyou:

greeneggsam

I've gone from 306 to 289...but it's not really a good thing, I mean...it kinda is...but I don't know...I've completely relapsed in my eating disorder...I've been not eating all day...and then eating a small dinner around 9 pm and purging that...I tried explaining to my psych np today how I've been struggling lately...with the constant anxiety and obsessive thoughts...but she's clueless. *sighs* She did change me from Neurontin to Lamictal though...hopefully it will help stabilize my mood a bit. I don't go back to my out patient eating disorders clinic for another week...for some reason, they switched me from once a week to once every two weeks...right when I'm struggling...oh well.:frown:

So sorry you are struggling with your disorder. I don't have an eating disorder, but I have bipolar, so I can relate. Keep on your doc to try new meds until you feel balanced. I have heard some good things about Lamictal, but I know how it is with meds - one person's miracle is another's demise. Depakote worked for my mood, but I gained weight. :ohwell:

Also, call and make a weekly appointment if you feel like you need it. You are your own best advocate. Good luck to you, and let me know if I can be of any support.

pinkpixies

I'm so sorry.
I haven't seen you around lately. I'd love for you to come here more so we can at least offer some moral support. :flowerforyou: Have you been exercising? That can help improve your mood as well. Just make sure that you won't use it to purge, and try to eat more. If you eat more, you can exercise, and both of those things will help you feel better.
Hang in there for just a few more days and then maybe you can ask to see the clinic more often. :flowerforyou:

Thanks.

I was exercising a lot but the past couple days I've just been really tired and stuff...no energy...sad/depressed...and stuff...maybe the Lamictal will make me feel better in a few weeks.

sassiebritches

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling like this. As if battling with life isn't enough. Is it possible to ask to see a new therapist that may understand your disorder a bit better? I am here almost all day everyday....I leave the MFP window open all day, please feel free to get in touch with me anytime. I may not have alot of the answers, but I can try to help where I can.

Hang in there honey............

:flowerforyou:

pinkpixies

I've gone from 306 to 289...but it's not really a good thing, I mean...it kinda is...but I don't know...I've completely relapsed in my eating disorder...I've been not eating all day...and then eating a small dinner around 9 pm and purging that...I tried explaining to my psych np today how I've been struggling lately...with the constant anxiety and obsessive thoughts...but she's clueless. *sighs* She did change me from Neurontin to Lamictal though...hopefully it will help stabilize my mood a bit. I don't go back to my out patient eating disorders clinic for another week...for some reason, they switched me from once a week to once every two weeks...right when I'm struggling...oh well.:frown:

So sorry you are struggling with your disorder. I don't have an eating disorder, but I have bipolar, so I can relate. Keep on your doc to try new meds until you feel balanced. I have heard some good things about Lamictal, but I know how it is with meds - one person's miracle is another's demise. Depakote worked for my mood, but I gained weight. :ohwell:

Also, call and make a weekly appointment if you feel like you need it. You are your own best advocate. Good luck to you, and let me know if I can be of any support.

I won't try Depakote b/c every single person I've talked to who has taken it, has gained weight...a lot of weight...on it...I gained a lot on some other meds...I did the antipsychotics as a mood stabilizer root for a long time...I asked about the Lamictal b/c I've heard good things about it and all like you have.

pinkpixies

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling like this. As if battling with life isn't enough. Is it possible to ask to see a new therapist that may understand your disorder a bit better? I am here almost all day everyday....I leave the MFP window open all day, please feel free to get in touch with me anytime. I may not have alot of the answers, but I can try to help where I can.

Hang in there honey............

:flowerforyou:

Thanks. I get Medicaid and they only cover one local mental health clinic...and the clinic won't let me see a different psych...I've asked...several times...

Carrielle

You are a strong person, keep going with what you are able to do! Losing weight is not easy, I wish you luck in all you do!

bacyr21

I struggle as well with an ED and am currently in an Outpatient program. It sounds to me that you would benefit from seeking a higher level of care. Does Medicaid provide you with time in an outpatient or even an inpatient program? I know how hard it can be to battle and ED and if you don't have the right support relapses can begin to get out of hand. I hope you are able to find the support you need.

ranibauer

Sorry to say this but this website is probably the last place you should be if you have an eating disorder. Take care of your mind first, and the rest will follow. Seriously if you focus on getting to the root of why you have/had an eating disorder, one day your health will follow in a positive way. Any shape or size, no one is perfect. If joining a group like myfitnesspal will put you in relapse then it might be best to stay away. Good luck.

pinkpixies

I struggle as well with an ED and am currently in an Outpatient program. It sounds to me that you would benefit from seeking a higher level of care. Does Medicaid provide you with time in an outpatient or even an inpatient program? I know how hard it can be to battle and ED and if you don't have the right support relapses can begin to get out of hand. I hope you are able to find the support you need.

I've already done inpatient...they only cover one hospital for me...and I hate it there...it's not helpful at all and they don't take into account my health issues. Like...they refused to give me water for 5 days...making me so dehydrated that I was only urinating 400 ml a day b/c I couldn't drink the juice due to my stomach issues.

nowornever

I know that there is a story behind all of the obsessiveness, anxiety and depression and I am certainly no doctor but I can relate to these disorders. I have tried several anti-depressants and anti-enxiety drugs over the past ten years and they do work but only for a short period of time and then you have to up you dose or try a different one. The only thing that has helped me is natural suppliments, eating 3-5 healthy smaller meals per day and excersize. I know that sounds like a super cliche' but I am telling you, your body is lacking in minerals, niacin, and vitamins and that makes your disorder worse. Hope this helps, keep your chin up and keep some positive influences in you life!

pinkpixies

Sorry to say this but this website is probably the last place you should be if you have an eating disorder. Take care of your mind first, and the rest will follow. Seriously if you focus on getting to the root of why you have/had an eating disorder, one day your health will follow in a positive way. Any shape or size, no one is perfect. If joining a group like myfitnesspal will put you in relapse then it might be best to stay away. Good luck.

This site encourages healthy eating...which is what I was trying to focus on...I've just been battling my eating disorder for so long that I relapse at times...and then recover...relapse again...etc...for the past 13 years...I do need to lose weight though...having health problems from my morbid obesity.

pinkpixies

I know that there is a story behind all of the obsessiveness, anxiety and depression and I am certainly no doctor but I can relate to these disorders. I have tried several anti-depressants and anti-enxiety drugs over the past ten years and they do work but only for a short period of time and then you have to up you dose or try a different one. The only thing that has helped me is natural suppliments, eating 3-5 healthy smaller meals per day and excersize. I know that sounds like a super cliche' but I am telling you, your body is lacking in minerals, niacin, and vitamins and that makes your disorder worse. Hope this helps, keep your chin up and keep some positive influences in you life!

My last blood work was fine...sodium levels were low, but thats all. My folic acid levels were high for some reason. >.< B12 was normal...iron normal....

cmriverside

Sorry to say this but this website is probably the last place you should be if you have an eating disorder. Take care of your mind first, and the rest will follow. Seriously if you focus on getting to the root of why you have/had an eating disorder, one day your health will follow in a positive way. Any shape or size, no one is perfect. If joining a group like myfitnesspal will put you in relapse then it might be best to stay away. Good luck.

I'm sorry, did I miss something in her post that makes you think somehow it is the fault of this website that she has relapsed? I think if she is reaching out to anyone it is a good thing. Obviously we don't have the medical training to be able to treat her here, but if she just needs to talk, I don't think we should discourage her. :frown:

We all have eating disorders of one type or another, or we wouldn't be struggling with our weight and body image. Some of us eat obsessively, some of us eat just too much, some of us don't eat enough. Some of us try purging out of desperation, or laxatives, or pills - for whatever the reason. Some people here are trying to gain weight. It is all part of the same struggle. It is all related to some other issues(s) in our lives.

Pink pixie, feel free to post any time. There are many understanding people here who have gone through pain of one sort or another. Make some friends while you are trying to find more professional help. You can message me anytime, I have my own struggles I'd be glad to tell you about and how I have found help, if you want to know, but I'd also be glad to listen.

We can all use more friends.

cmr :flowerforyou:

nwfamilygal

Were here for you and you post anytime :happy: We all have some kind of eating problem. My problem is I like all kind of fatting food but I'm learning what I should eat and how many times. I eat several small meals that has helped me. Of coarse theirs times that I do eat more then I should but it is a learning tool. I've learned once in a while I can have that small piece of cake or pie. I just have to make sure it is under my calories for the day. So I guess were here together and that is a good thing. Cause that means we have all kinds of support. That is what we really need. I'm so glad that my friend found this sight because it really has helped my way of thinking about food and my health. So keep on Posting and will keep on reading :happy:

Fitness_Chick

Hey Pink:happy:
Great to see you posting!:flowerforyou: Glad you feel comfy enough here to share your heart with us. You're free to share whatever you need to here on MFP despite what a few other members might have voiced.

We all have ED's of some sort or another or we wouldn't be here on MFP working on our selfesteem, food issues, etc.

You're more than welcome to PM anytime you'd like. I've been through much of what you're going through now...I was able to give up the purging and although at times it tries to creep back in I find it no longer has the power over me it once did:drinker:

Sometimes seeing the good in ourselves can help us in so many positive ways, it can help us realize we're worth something, to ourselves, to others. Stick around, keep posting many folks on here will welcome your posts. For those that may have in there head that you don't belong here, well I disagree with that.

You have much in common with many members here:drinker: ...where better to post than a safe environment where others understand not only your pain, struggles but your victories along your journey! Sometimes we tend to think our victories are small and insignificant to us but sharing them with others we see they aren't so small after all!!

MFP is a great place to get to know ourselves, share our pain & struggles and our sucesses!

Stick around Pink we're here for you!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

FC

dewpearl

Stick around Pink we're here for you!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

I second that! You are not alone, and though I can't say a whole lot now, I'm sending you a warm *HUG*. You'll make it!, you're not alone , and your hurt can be defeated! We do understand you! Keep believing, it will go away! (I know it's hard to believe, cos every pain seems like it'll never go away, but it will! - you are aware of it and you're fighting it :flowerforyou: ).

:flowerforyou: