Screaming kicking and crying!

karisbear

Ok! So im babysitting a girl age of 2, shes really good most of the time but... When mom leaves its histarics to the point of no calming down, ive started putting her in time out after so long explaining, when you are done crying you can come out. ive tried sitting with her hugging her and distracting her, either she pushes passed me and claws at the door, pushes away from me, but no matter what its ALWAYS screaming. At nap time its worse lots of screaming and crying,loud screaming!!! Now i have 2 kids of my own so naptime is important, not only to them but to me its a recharge a break. Ive gotten to the point durning nap if there is crying i take her favorite things i exlaping "these are for naptime, there is not crying if you cry i take these away." crying sometimes continues when it does i take her things only for a minute two, and let the screaming beigin even more and go back in and explain the same ol same old finally it work at some point. I also for got to say now that she is being potty trained, in the morning on her hissy fits even if mom takes her pee, and i ask or take her pee she will not pee on the potty she just continues to scream for time out til she pees the floor. she stops shortly afterward. I know i sound harsh with the things is do, i feel mean! and terrible i dont know what else to do. Does anyone know anything i can do?

karisbear

well im terribly sorry for my poor grammar!!

ajbeans

Have you asked the mother what she suggests? It's her child, after all, so she probably has some ideas for discipline that work for her.

Good luck?

poustotah

You're trying to reason with a 2-year old! That's not going to work.

When mom leaves, trying cuddling with her and talking softly to her. Find something she likes on TV and sit with her and hold her so she knows she's safe with you. Once she's calm THEN you can explain to her that mommy will be home soon and that mommy has to go to work.

For the naps, establish a naptime routine. Read her a book and then put her to bed and 'Nanny-911' her. If she gets out of bed, put her back. If she screams, ignore her.

karisbear

Mom has no idea what to do little one completly rules the roost over there, and i have tried sitting there cartoons, books,arts,food,drinks,cuddle she will have nothing of it. she WILL push past me and countinue on with her fit.

anubis609

I'd pay someone else to deal with it. Oh wait...

Helenatrandom

You and her are both frustrated. You said she was usually good? Perhaps she is just not ready to be potty trained yet. I'm not suggesting you don't encourage her to use the potty, but don't force her. If her mother insists she use it, ask her how she goes about encouraging her without frustrating her.

No, I'm not a mommy. I was never blessed with children, so these are not the thoughts of an expert, just someone who doesn't want you both to be upset and frustrated.

cppeace

You're trying to reason with a 2-year old! That's not going to work.

When mom leaves, trying cuddling with her and talking softly to her. Find something she likes on TV and sit with her and hold her so she knows she's safe with you. Once she's calm THEN you can explain to her that mommy will be home soon and that mommy has to go to work.

For the naps, establish a naptime routine. Read her a book and then put her to bed and 'Nanny-911' her. If she gets out of bed, put her back. If she screams, ignore her.

I agree

karisbear

i also have my 2 down for naps if i let her scream all the time and ignore it well they dont sleep

sjtreely

Have you tried some soft music? Classical or other children's music.

hypotrochoid

Walk away. She throws tantrums because it gets her attention. Don't respond and they'll eventually stop.

Ashley_Panda

Ask her mother what is the appropriate course of action for you to take. Tell her how she acts and if she has any suggestions on things that might calm her down.

macpatti

You sound very frustrated with her. Is NOT babysitting her anymore an option?

tinamina78

And good luck, Karisbear, I know nothing about negotiating with 2-year-old terrorists. I wish you the best! :bigsmile:

photo_kyla

Not that much experience with 2 year olds, but what about ignoring her? Just pretend the fit isn't happening and do something fun with your 2 (or by yourself). It sounds like she's doing it for the attention. If it doesn't work, she might stop. It will probably be a rocky few days until she realizes that, though.
Good luck

akwagner25

After you try to console her and it doesn't work, make sure she is not in a place where she can hurt herself and let her scream without interacting with her. It is going to be awful for you, no doubt about it!!! But if you show her she isn't going to get any attention from you with her screaming, she will eventually stop. It is going to be a test of wills and yours has to be the toughest one.

I went through this when my niece was very little, she screamed for an hour before she realized that I wasn't going to give her any attention with her fit. She is all grown up now with a little boy of her own and I went through this with him a couple of months ago. He also screamed for about an hour. The only time I interacted with him was when he started kicking my front door. I picked him up, brought him into the living room and sat him down by the wall and told him he could sit there and scream.

With him, I did eventually pick up a book and start reading it out loud, not to him, but to my other kids. He got interested in it when I started asking the other kids what was going to happen next. He still let me know he was upset by pretty much growling at me when I looked at him, but eventually he was up smiling and laughing and running around.

My own daughter was a little harder. She would throw a fit for two hours sometimes. I again would put her in her room or somewhere where she couldn't get hurt and let her get it out of her system. By the time it was done, I was ready to pull my hair out, but they eventually learn that they aren't going to get that attention and they stop doing it.

Right now the little girl knows she's in control of your situation, you'll just have to take that control back.

I hope some of what I said helps.

faith12207

Totally agree 2 year olds r a handful...I have a 2 year old and yeah u really just have to cuddle love n ignore that's basically all u can do...When she is napping maybe lay her down with a dvd of some sort ...potty training was easy for me bc i let her take potty chair where ever she felt comfortable with it first started out in bed room in front of a dvd called once upon a potty that really helped bc while they was using potty she'd wanna interact and sit on her potty...The screaming is normal...Sounds a lil spoiled maybe advice her mom on some of this and see what she would want u to do. GOOD LUCK

bethdris

My boys are 4.5, 2.5 and 1.5...its all about Routine! You and mom need to be on the same page and be consistant with her. She has NO idea what is expected of her when the 2 people that care for her are doing things TOTALLY different. I'd sit down with mom and make an outline that you both can agree on and follow through.

Good Luck! Oh and yes...NAP time is the sane time at my house too!

ajbeans

Mom has no idea what to do little one completly rules the roost over there, and i have tried sitting there cartoons, books,arts,food,drinks,cuddle she will have nothing of it. she WILL push past me and countinue on with her fit.

Ah. Well that makes your job much more difficult.

With our son, who has a monster temper, we've started using the methods in the book "1,2,3, Magic!" Our version was for Christian parents, but I'm fairly certain there's a secular version out there if that's not your bag, and even if there isn't, you don't have to be Christian to use the methods -- he talks about God in his reasoning to the parents, but you're not like quoting Scripture at the kiddos or anything. To put it simply, when the child is doing an undesired behavior, you calmly say, "That's 1." No anger, no reasoning, nothing. You wait for them to stop. If they don't, "That's 2." You wait again. If it continues, you say, "That's 3," and then continue with a time-out, or whatever consequence is acceptable. For her, a time-out would be what I would suggest, one minute per year of age. She doesn't have to sit quietly, she just has to stay in the designated spot away from others. If it continues again, she gets counted again, and then the time-out. You can also use temporary removal of a toy, as you said in your first post, for a set time limit -- maybe until after lunch, or whatever. Find a consequence that works for you, and stick with it. Don't show emotion or anger, don't try to reason with her (because as the other person said, you can't reason with a 2-year-old), just calmly count and follow through. If it's something new that she might not know is against the rules, you can tell her the first time why she's getting counted, but otherwise, she knows what she's doing wrong.

I've known several moms who have used the book, and I've heard of teachers using it, and it really does work well, IF you stick with it and are consistent. And it doesn't matter if she rules the roost at home -- she'll know the rules at your house if you are consistent with them.

Good luck!

sarahkatara

Mom has no idea what to do little one completly rules the roost over there, and i have tried sitting there cartoons, books,arts,food,drinks,cuddle she will have nothing of it. she WILL push past me and countinue on with her fit.

She WILL keep it up if you LET her. She's 2. Even when it seems like you're not in control, and no offense meant here, it's your fault for letting her control you. There are proven techniques. When she gets a time out, it's 1 minute per age, so her time-out is 2-minutes long. No matter how many times she gets up (and i do mean no matter how many times, whether it takes hours or minutes) put her back there, kicking, screaming, crying and all. Do not speak to her. AT ALL. She will eventually stay there. Then you go to after she has done her 2-minute time-out, you reinforce why she was in a time-out, ask for an apology, and do hugs and kisses. Same for naptime. She does NOT have a choice whether or not naptime happens. even if she doesn't sleep, she MUST go into her bed. Again, i don't care how many times she gets up. The first time, you hold her hand back to bed and say, "it's naptime." The second time she does it, you say nothing at all, just lead her to the bed. And do this every time she gets out of bed until she stays in bed for however long YOU deem appropriate for a 2-year old's nap. You have to take back control. Obviously your home is chaos all day long and that's not good for anyone. Watch Supernanny. The woman is a genius. But seriously, this is a venting post about your frustrationa nd i get that, but YOU are letting it happen. Remember, she's 2. What's she going to do to you? Throw her blocks on the floor?

MusicKeepsMeSane

In my experience dealing with young children like that they often hate to see their mommy leave. I used to babysit this little boy and after his mommy left he'd start crying and screaming and breaking down. I'd just pick him up and comfort him then sit down with him and calmly read him some of his favorite books until he calmed down. You could always ask the mother some ideas that would help calm her down. I've seen that taking favorite toys away from a child who's already upset just makes matters worse. She probably just wants to have something with her that would bring her comfort. If you haven't been babysitting her for a long time then she'll probably start to warm up to you after being around you a few times. I can walk in the room and just get the little boy to start playing so he's distracted when his mom leaves. Not sure how much help that was but maybe something will work!

And they don't call it the "Terrible Two's" for no reason. You can't often reason with them, it usually doesn't work.