So scared of what my life's become

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Warning : emotional forum dumping below

I haven't logged onto these forums for so long! I've become more & more committed to using the app & referencing it
If I have questions about potential food choices. But I find myself in a scary place at the moment. I am 126.8kg & have an array of obesity related diseases to boot! I have thyroid disease which affects my hormone levels, energy and endocrine system, I have Poly cystic ovaries which kind of ties in with hormonal stuff, I have benign intracranial hypertension which is the slowing of spinal fluid drainage from the skull which causes massive headaches and affects energy, I have recently started experiencing massive drops in my blood sugar causing near-fainting ect, after a trip to docs today I'm having tests tommorrow around glucose tolerance, insulin resistance, pre-diabetes type stuff

So basically on any given day I feel defeated! I hate feeling defeated as I've always been one of those people that just sucks it up & gets on with it, & I know other people have way worse stuff to deal with in their lives. But I'm really struggling & just sort of needed to share. I try my best on the days I feel well to do even a little bit of excercise, at the moment I'm doing lite & easy so my food is all prepared because otherwise I find I just don't eat well -because I'm not in a space where I can depend on myself to cook consistently. Regardless of what you all think of lite & easy it's the best I can do at the moment so please don't judge.

I guess I'm after some inspiration, that regardless of all the crap its possible to get there. I know a number of my health issues will improve with weightloss & so I will feel better, but it's hard to see the big picture when your living the day to day. One day at a time I guess!

Sorry for being such a downer. Thanks for listening tho

X

Replies

  • kimbertba
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    Do what you CAN do WHEN you CAN!! And no matter what...DON'T GIVE UP!!! :flowerforyou:
  • nudqt
    nudqt Posts: 98
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    I began this journey at 129.7 kg....and am now at 103.4 kg. At my high weight, I had no energy, high blood sugar, high trigycerides and high cholesterol.....My energy level still isn't that good...but everything else has improved greatly.

    My daughter and I started this together....she began a very heavy gym program....I knew I couldn't maintain that, so I have stuck to diet with moderate (light and easy) exercise.....I have done well since 2/8/11 when I began.....having lost 26.3 kg to date. But, now I am seeing the SKIN becoming an issue. I am 60 years old and have been a 'big girl' most of those years.

    "You do what you can now, and do better when you can."
  • soniaa777
    soniaa777 Posts: 126 Member
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    one good thing is that you are venting. Its okay to take small steps, they are still steps toward your goal. dont feel too distressed. many people have similar problems, at least you are able to go to the doctor to get the help you need. its a long hard jouney, but you CAN do it. one day at a time.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    If you are still breathing, you aren't defeated. You are stronger than you think you are and braver than you say you are. Even through a pile of health issues that would cripple others, you have still been making healthy choices within your capacity to do so. So you aren't cooking gourmet health foods and running marathons. You're still doing a lot better than before you started trying. Embrace being the tortoise and tell the hare inside that's criticizing your efforts to bite himself. This is about a healthy lifestyle, not a crash diet. Just posting this very honest and vulnerable thread will help you, because it gets the frustration out to where you can see it and put a face to it, so to speak. So now you can punch it in the face. :-)
  • Fat_2_Fit_Mommy
    Fat_2_Fit_Mommy Posts: 569 Member
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    I am sorry... But atleast your trying to do what you can. Hopefully it will go away.. I go moderate also I just go for walks lately but hey atleast ita better than nothing.
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
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    I feel your pain --- I also have PCOS and I had Type II Diabetes -- the combination of these two makes it almost impossible to lose weight like other people. You have two insulin resistant issues. One of the best ways to start is to change your MFP settings to something like 40% protein, 30 or 25% carb --- lower carb means less sugar and it will help more when you have insulin issues.

    As for exercise... just start walking. That is probably the easiest and cheapest thing you can do to get moving.

    You do have a much tougher road ahead but just know that controlling your diet can reverse the diabetes and make your pcos more manageable...its worth it!

    EDIT FYI: If you want to have kids someday, this is even more important to keep going --- PCOS has a very high rate of infertility.
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
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    I don't judge those on Lite n Easy. I lost 15kg on it last year, and only stopped because I could no longer afford it. I learned more about healthy eating, variety of foods, and realistic portion sizes when on the program than in the years and years of diets before I joined.

    I now know what healthy choices to make - I'm just stuck in a rut and am not choosing them at the moment.

    Good luck with everything - I know you can do it!
  • dia77
    dia77 Posts: 410 Member
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    Walk. It is this series of DVD'S- Walk your pounds away- kind of a walk at home exercise. You don't burn a lot, but gets you going
    .I got the thyroid thing too. It is harder , it's true, but not imposible You can lose weight ..Hang in there.

    Just being on this site is the first step. Dealing with a bunch of health problems, seems unfair, but you can turn your life around .Fight for it. You worth it.
  • pinksultana
    pinksultana Posts: 162 Member
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    Seriously guys - thank you all so much for the kind words, on just the day I needed to hear it!

    X
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I'm hearing a lot of things that make you feel defeated. They're your "can't do's" and we all have them. But what CAN you do? That's different for everyone. I have PCOS and a thyroid condition. I found what worked for me (walking 5 days a week for at LEAST 20 minutes, but I upped it in time) and counting my calories without fail, even if I knew I went over. Find what works for you. Good luck.