CHUCK. NORRIS.

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Beastette
Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
in Chit-Chat
My sister posts on my facebook wall: You are more beautiful then Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!

I reply: I am more beautiful than Chuck Norris. I smell like gym clothes and push ups. Thank you. :-)

Which made me wish for a Chuck Norris MPF thread soooo hard. For inspiration: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Chuck Norris HCG: A one-time injection of an extract of his sweat and eat whatever you want for life. You will instantly lose all excess weight, still won't be as awesome as Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris kills your thread, your computer also dies.

Question about the site: how do I set my calorie deficit to...Chuck Norris. Pretty sure he is eating back his exercise calories.

You get the idea...
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Replies

  • Aileen46
    Aileen46 Posts: 176 Member
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    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried

    Just two of my favourites. :)
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    I've always loved:

    Chuck Norris does not do push ups. He pushes the Earth DOWN.
  • Shizzman
    Shizzman Posts: 527 Member
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    Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door!
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    Go to Google.com.

    Type "Google Chuck Norris"

    Click "I'm feeling lucky"

    :smile:
  • BigCed77024
    BigCed77024 Posts: 1,115 Member
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    Chuck Norris built Rome in a day.

    Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.


    Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose
  • Saffa_NZ
    Saffa_NZ Posts: 11 Member
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    Chuck who?
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Go to Google.com.

    Type "Google Chuck Norris"

    Click "I'm feeling lucky"

    :smile:

    THIS? This WINS. No. This Chucks.
  • stresco
    stresco Posts: 354 Member
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    The Boogy-Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
  • stresco
    stresco Posts: 354 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing.
  • Ebbykins
    Ebbykins Posts: 420 Member
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    LOL My Mr. managed to con the guy in the cell phone store into letting his name appear as Chuck Norris when he calls people... it's hilarious.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    LOL My Mr. managed to con the guy in the cell phone store into letting his name appear as Chuck Norris when he calls people... it's hilarious.

    LMAO! Is his ringback tone the sound of a roundhouse kick? If so, I'd know it was fake. Chuck Norris' ringback tone is an actual roundhouse kick.
  • ZombieKillaPrincess
    ZombieKillaPrincess Posts: 404 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't teabag. He potato sacks.
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    funny-pictures-chuck-norris-cat.jpg
  • wondergirl1003
    wondergirl1003 Posts: 138 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    brle.gif?1318992465
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    tumblr_lr6u58yXj91qbypelo1_500.jpg?1318992465
  • Aileen46
    Aileen46 Posts: 176 Member
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    These are all too funny!! :laugh:
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
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    I feel kind of left out that I never found the fascination with the ol' Texas Ranger.. :ohwell:
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    It really isn't about him. It is about awesome personified. And awesome personified just happens to mean Chuck Norris...

    Plus, I heard that he can hear what we type. Be careful of your words, woman...
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    My children like to tell people I used to date Chuck Norris and photoshop him into family photos. (I never met him.)

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