CHUCK. NORRIS.

Beastette

My sister posts on my facebook wall: You are more beautiful then Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!

I reply: I am more beautiful than Chuck Norris. I smell like gym clothes and push ups. Thank you. :-)

Which made me wish for a Chuck Norris MPF thread soooo hard. For inspiration: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Chuck Norris HCG: A one-time injection of an extract of his sweat and eat whatever you want for life. You will instantly lose all excess weight, still won't be as awesome as Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris kills your thread, your computer also dies.

Question about the site: how do I set my calorie deficit to...Chuck Norris. Pretty sure he is eating back his exercise calories.

You get the idea...

Aileen46

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried

Just two of my favourites.

Beastette

I've always loved:

Chuck Norris does not do push ups. He pushes the Earth DOWN.

Shizzman

Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door!

Thomasm198

Go to Google.com.

Type "Google Chuck Norris"

Click "I'm feeling lucky"

Bankman1989

Chuck Norris built Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.


Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose

Saffa_NZ

Chuck who?

Beastette

Go to Google.com.

Type "Google Chuck Norris"

Click "I'm feeling lucky"

THIS? This WINS. No. This Chucks.

stresco

The Boogy-Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

stresco

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing.

Ebbykins

LOL My Mr. managed to con the guy in the cell phone store into letting his name appear as Chuck Norris when he calls people... it's hilarious.

Beastette

LOL My Mr. managed to con the guy in the cell phone store into letting his name appear as Chuck Norris when he calls people... it's hilarious.

LMAO! Is his ringback tone the sound of a roundhouse kick? If so, I'd know it was fake. Chuck Norris' ringback tone is an actual roundhouse kick.

ZombieKillaPrincess

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag. He potato sacks.

Thomasm198

wondergirl1003

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

warmachinejt

warmachinejt

Aileen46

These are all too funny!! :laugh:

Erindipitous

I feel kind of left out that I never found the fascination with the ol' Texas Ranger.. :ohwell:

Beastette

It really isn't about him. It is about awesome personified. And awesome personified just happens to mean Chuck Norris...

Plus, I heard that he can hear what we type. Be careful of your words, woman...

katkins3

My children like to tell people I used to date Chuck Norris and photoshop him into family photos. (I never met him.)

Beastette

My children like to tell people I used to date Chuck Norris and photoshop him into family photos. (I never met him.)

Preschool Me used to tell people that Fred Rogers was my real dad. Way to aim low, Little CTG. :grumble:

sarahp86

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like chuck norris

Jebw123

Chuck Norris' shadow can bench 250 lb.

loved11

My dad and chuck norris learned karate together. Right before good guys wear black came out he contacted my dad for help because he for got some of the motions. My dad made film of himself doing them and sent to chuck. Chuck came to Colorado for a promotion and we all got to go and meet him, I even got a hug. He sparred with my dad, it was really cool.