Unhappy With Weight Loss Goals

Tattoos_and_Tea

Morning all, hope you are having a happy Sunday.

So, ive managed to lose 53lb in total. My initial starting weight was 12st 8lb with a goal weight of 10st. I achieved this but then thought I could do with losing another 7lb, which I did. Then I thought I would lose maybe another 7lb, which again I did. I got to 9st and thought I would just like to be in the 8st bracket, so I managed that. Now I want to get to 8st 7lb and im only 3lb away so should be able to do that in 3 weeks. My problem being is that when I eventually get to that 8st 7lb goal, I honestly dont think I will still be happy. I know I shouldnt lose any more weight after that but I know I wont be happy maintaning and will want to lose more.

Has anyone else experianced this? How did you over come it?

Thanks x

normh545

hopefully will be able to tell you in 3 stone time . but you need to be careful or you will end up ill in hospital if you loose to much

JoDeeD

You need to be careful not to lose to much. Make sure you don't get under on your BMI. If you lose to much because it will mess up your bodily functions and make your organs start shutting down. If the feeling to lose more weight does not stop you should speak with your doctor. Great job on the weight loss!

77bluebird

How tall are you? You can't have much more left that you can lose without making yourself ill...
I think you should change your goals to non-weight-related ones, for example sign up for a half-marathon or something, so that you are focussing on your fitness instead of your weight.

belbel79

All I can say is that it leads easily to an eating disorder.. been there, done that.. when I was a teenager I did end up in hospital and believe me it was not a happy experience... it did scare me enough to start eating sensibly again though but its a battle that I have now struggled with for over 19 years.
I think that maybe a psychologist might be an option for you.. at least to be able to talk about what is driving you to continue to lose weight unnecessarily with a professional. Its a solution that worked/works for me...

seph_house

it's hard to tell from photos, but looking at your profile pics, i would guess that you have gone past the point where i would describe you as thin and into the point of looking fragile. i know some people like to look that way but to me it looks unhealthy

your food diary also looks very very low too, to the point where i wander how much energy you have during the day. you log an ok amount of exercise in there but not huge amounts, how do you feel after doing 30mins cardio? does it wipe you out?

you are probably going to get a few responses telling you you have an eating disorder which i think is a little strong but it's worth asking yourself how you feel on this level of intake rather than what the number of the scale say if you keep on being unhappy when you reach the next goal weight, i think you really need to think about what is going to really make you happy, not just the numbers.

(if you are not happy with the way your body **looks**, my own personal guess is at this point you should stop trying to loose weight and trying to gain muscle which, at your size, will make way more difference to the way you look than losing more pounds. be prepared to eat more and gain a little weight but it will be muscle weight that looks *good*. google around for pics of the difference weight/strength training can make to a female body, not the old muscle popping body builders ones but the bikini/fitness class models like jamie eason etc)

Tattoos_and_Tea

77bluebird - im 5'5"

seph_house - i feel shattered after 30 minutes of exercise, hence thats why I only tend to do no more than that. Sometimes I manage 50 minutes but I have to really be in the mood for that!

Unfortunately im not happy with the way I look, the way my clothes DONT fit and and numbers on the scales but I dont know how to get around that. I work for a psychiatry and psychology department and dont feel that I can talk to them about it as they are my colleagues, plus I dont feel im at the stage of needing to talk to someone about it yet.

Thank you everyone for your replies x

77bluebird

You certainly shouldn't weigh any less than 8st7 then sweetheart - if your clothes don't fit, buy ones that do! With the amount of weight you've lost, you should be celebrating the body you've got now, so go out and buy something that's flattering for your shape, and that you like. Not being able to do more than 30 mins of exercise suggests that you aren't feeding your muscles properly. Maybe you could speak to a doctor or nutritionist? I think you realise that there is the potential for a problem, and the reason you aren't happy is probably not anything to do with your weight any more. If you can work out what it is, you can really work on your self-esteem! I'm doing CBT with a counsellor through work, but I'm in the military, so I understand how you feel about not wanting your colleagues to know.
I'm 5'6", and currently 9st. I'm not entirely happy with my shape, (well what woman is?) but I know that it's a sensible weight for me now, so I'm going through my wardrobe and selling loads of the stuff that doesn't fit or flatter, so I've got a bit more money to buy stuff that does. Small steps...

Lozze

I've just done the conversion and you weigh about 51kg currently correct? That's 4kg under the lowest healthy weight. For what you weigh now. You don't need to lose anymore weight based purely on numbers. Looking at your food diary you're not eating enough.

I would suggest having a chat with your doctor. If youre underweight and still think you're too big then clearly something is wrong. I understand not wanting to talk to your colleagues but you really don't want this to get worse. Don't wait for it to get to a point where you require your colleagues to say something.

stevwil41

I'm not a professional by any means but from looking at your pictures in my opinion you're teetering on being too thin. If you're not happy with the way you look you may want to try getting healthy rather than any thinner. It would improve the way you look, feel, and how your clothes fit. Also, you said you didn't feel like you could (or needed to) speak to your colleagues and I can understand that. However, if you continue on the path you're on you could very well end up with a full fledged eating disorder and how will that look to the colleagues? All I'm saying is you need to be very careful because it sounds like you're on the flip side of what got most of us overweight originally and that can be just as unhealthy in its own way.

spottedlee

it's hard to tell from photos, but looking at your profile pics, i would guess that you have gone past the point where i would describe you as thin and into the point of looking fragile.

May I ask,, how can you tell by looking at profile picture? If you look at mine, I have always had skinny neck and face -- never had double chin either,, does it make me thin? no,, I weigh 259 as of this morning The pixture you see in me was taken 4 months ago.

As for the poster. I wish I could help but I don't know how to measure stones.

77bluebird

The OP also has some full length pics hun, and one stone is 14 pounds.

Rae6503

What are you unhappy with? When you look in the mirror, what's wrong? Maybe some muscle building will help you be happier. Throw the scale away, it doesn't mean anything. No one sees it but you.

susanofscottsdale

Please talk with your doctor - it sounds as if you might have serious control and image issues that are manifesting in dieting. This is dangerous. I have two friends who did themselves very serious long term physical damage with this - act now.

mabug01

You look fantastic the way you are now. I agree with others - change your focus to fitness. Do some weight lifting to define your muscles and you will feel proud of your strong body.

eliotta

Don't go there. I seriously mean it and just, please, don't do it to yourself. I've been there, last spring. I've successfully lost a bit over 30 pounds and I've gotten myself at the lowest healthy weight for my height. And instead of being happy to finally be thin, I've freaked out and just wasn't happy - I kept on losing, and the more I lost, the harder it was to lose, so I made my rules more and more strict. I ended up being quite underweight, messing up my period and I am still struggling with hair loss.
It all backfired, I started to binge on a vacation like a crazy person (seriously, I can't even go close to describing to the terrible feeling of greed I felt when I have given up on my boundaries. I could have eaten 5 to 6 toasts, same amount of croissants etc. for breakfast and I would still feel legitimate hunger, not just a craving. I lost a sense of fullness for several months).
And when I got home and freaked out over how much I have gained, even bulimia came in. Needless to say, it was a low point for me, and it was even worse because everything else in my life was (still is) going so great at that time and I wasn't even able to enjoy it at times.
Now I came here again to do it healthily, but I'm still struggling a lot. I am terrified of feeling hungry, and I have to eat all the time so I wouldn't binge. Hunger scares me so much, even though it doesn't have to always mean a bad thing, I'm subconsciously so afraid that it's starvation time all over again.

Please, don't do it to yourself. Learn to love your body when it's healthy. Maybe set different goal, eat at maintenance and build some muscle instead. But please, remember, losing more weight isn't worth it. I had to learn it the hard way, and I hope you won't have to.

Tattoos_and_Tea

Once again, thank you all. Im taking on board everything you say x

mirgss

you look beautiful!

i agree with some others on here...try changing your mindset. fitness is more important than weight...i would also suggest some weight training. check out this link...which would you rather look like?

http://fortiusfitness.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/skinny-fat.jpg

killerqueen17

You look gorgeous as you are right now! I don't think you look "fragile" at this point, but the fact that you mentioned you can't work out for more than 30 minutes might indicate you are not in the best of health. I agree with others that say maybe some strength training ( not bulk, but using light weights) along with more protein might make you feel healthier. Your weight likely wouldn't change, or may even go up, which can be scary. But if you gain some muscle mass you will look lean and fit, and likely feel healthier too!!

But the bottom line is you look fantastic as you are!!

Sidesteal

What are you unhappy with? When you look in the mirror, what's wrong? Maybe some muscle building will help you be happier. Throw the scale away, it doesn't mean anything. No one sees it but you.

^ I'm curious about the above questions too. Are you literally unhappy with the number the scale says, or are you unhappy with your body composition?

Tattoos_and_Tea

Im literally unhappy with what I see in the mirror. I have flabby parts which im trying to tone. I hate the numbers on the scales as they seem so high. Im unhappy when I see people who are smaller than me and alhought I hae lost so much weight i still done look like them. Im unhappy about the fat that I still cant fit into a uk size 8 when i really should be able to at my weight. Seriously the list goes on.

TavistockToad

I have had a look at your diary, and you eat FAR too little. I am 5ft5, 8 stone 12 and i net about 1700 calories.

Wanting to be less than 8 and a half stone is very little for your height. If you have 'flabby' bits you should look at eatign to maintenance and building muscle so you have a toned appearance and are not 'skinny fat'.

hannydee

I've actually just INCREASED my goal weight by 5lbs after reading the thread about body fat percentages and how they translate to total body weight. So I guess I'm the opposite of you. I can also envisage me going to maintenance before I even reach the goal weight, because I'm quite happy with how I look at the moment and I'm still 15 lbs away!
I realised that, at 5'8", 130 lbs would be a little too much of an unrealistic goal. Don't want to make myself unhealthy. Perhaps if you are still unsatisfied with how you look you should work on building muscle rather than losing weight, and try to make sure your BMI stays within the healthy range.

*edit* Just looked at your diary and you are definitely aren't eating enough! This might explain why you can see 'flabby bits' when you look in the mirror. Sounds like, because you're eating so little, your body has had to turn to your muscle stores for energy. Try increasing your calories a little and do some strength training to see if that helps to remedy it.

Sidesteal

Im literally unhappy with what I see in the mirror. I have flabby parts which im trying to tone. I hate the numbers on the scales as they seem so high. Im unhappy when I see people who are smaller than me and alhought I hae lost so much weight i still done look like them. Im unhappy about the fat that I still cant fit into a uk size 8 when i really should be able to at my weight. Seriously the list goes on.

I am going to speculate two things. This is my opinion only:

1) If you aren't yet, you should lift heavy. I'm guessing you either didn't lift weights while dieting, or you did, but didn't lift heavy ones. This will drastically improve your body composition.

2) There's a possibility that you have body dysmorphic disorder and you may wish to see a professional or at the very least, take some screenings for it to see.