Crazy parent

hikeout470

I am serious here, my mother is early 70"s. Friday she told me she woke to find her front door had been egged... I didn't hear from her yesterday morning, so last night I called to check on her and I asked if she found out how to clean up the egg and she was very upset with me. I asked what was going on and she flat out accused me of coming over late while she was sleeping and opening her front door and egging her house inside. She said she didn't see the egg on the inside of the door until the next day. Pictures confirm that someone did open her front door and do this. The only keys she says she has out are mine and my brothers. Periodically she throws these very strange accusations my way. Last few times were I threatened to shoot her, I was going to abuse my dogs, etc Very extreme and ridiculous. So I don't know if this is early dementia, or what but very upsetting and hard for me to be happy and to follow a good health regime having these constant upsets.

SkateboardFi

I am serious here, my mother is early 70"s. Friday she told me she woke to find her front door had been egged... I didn't hear from her yesterday morning, so last night I called to check on her and I asked if she found out how to clean up the egg and she was very upset with me. I asked what was going on and she flat out accused me of coming over late while she was sleeping and opening her front door and egging her house inside. She said she didn't see the egg on the inside of the door until the next day. Pictures confirm that someone did open her front door and do this. The only keys she says she has out are mine and my brothers. Periodically she throws these very strange accusations my way. Last few times were I threatened to shoot her, I was going to abuse my dogs, etc Very extreme and ridiculous. So I don't know if this is early dementia, or what but very upsetting and hard for me to be happy and to follow a good health regime having these constant upsets.

sounds like early signs of dementia to me, i'd suggest going with her to see a doctor..and..um...refrain from addressing her as 'crazy parent'...

Saruman_w

Has she been diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimer's? Usually Paranoia and feelings of people conspiring against them are signs of early stages.

rosebarnalice

I hate to bring this up, but paranoia and accusations are consistent with the early signs of dementia.

Keep a log of her behavior (memory lapses, accusations, strange activities like putting the bills in the fridge [REALLY!]). And prepare yourself for a VERY unpleasant conversation with her health care provider the next time she's scheduled for a checkup.

hikeout470

agreed. problem is with the doctor, I think he is incompetent and I need to get her to see a new one. he is same age and a total moron. my mother's behaviour along with our messed up family dynamic have broken up the family over the years and I am alone in dealing with this. Please also know that I am and educated professional person who travels a lot. this is not fun.

alerica1

The first thing you need to do is make sure she has a Health Care Power of Attorney if she doesn't already have one. This will allow the doctors to talk to you. You will need to have her sign one while she's "competent" and understands what she's signing. It does sound like dimentia. Good luck to you.

sjtreely

If this is erratic behavior that she didn't displayed in her earlier years, then yes, I would step back from things for the moment and look for other signs of early dementia or other aging complications.

Does she keep her house as she always has? Are dishes left out for days? Does she shower regularly? How is her nutrition?

Look for patterns of evidence of the aging process. Are others noticing things? Does she keep a schedule? If so, ask her friends (church, card club, etc) if they are noticing signs of slipping.

If it's not typical behavior of your mother, seek some professional help.

Godspeed.

dlaplume2

I think you need to talk to a doctor or another person that can try to help manage her care. I used to work in an assisted living facility with the elderly. These are very normal early stages of dentia. Do not take it personally, but you do need to take it seriously. There are medications she can take that will help slow the progression of these diseases, but they will only work if she remebers to take them. That is why you need ot make sure she has help managing them.

You also should have her do a POA and a health care POA and while whe is still competent a will. You do not want to have to fight with other family members who have differences of opinions regarding her care. Even if you are not the POA and another sibling is, at least one of you is able to look out for her, as opposed to a health care worker who has no vested interest in her personal well being.

Best wishes to you. I hope you find the comfort and support you are going to need to get you through this.

latinahada

Has she had any medication changes? Do these accusations take place @ certain times of the day (like evening) or does the time vary? Is it every day of just random occurrences and did this just start or has it been happening for a while (weeks, months...)? Could be early stage of Alzheimer's, but could be something as simple as a UTI...UTI's can cause strange behaviors in older people. Definitely need to get her to see a doctor...And I agree with keeping a log of the occurrences & be prepared for the appt. Best of luck to you

SkateboardFi

agreed. problem is with the doctor, I think he is incompetent and I need to get her to see a new one. he is same age and a total moron. my mother's behaviour along with our messed up family dynamic have broken up the family over the years and I am alone in dealing with this. Please also know that I am and educated professional person who travels a lot. this is not fun.

ughhhh that sucks i'm so sorry you have to deal with this, i couldn't imagine...i wish the best for you

hikeout470

unfortunately it is a more exaggerated sign of her typical behaviour. she has always had sort of a ridiculous streak to her. back in 2000, a work mate of mine ans I stayed at her house for 6 months a few nights here and there while I was building my new house, and when the census bureau came by she listed us both as permanent residents. my brother can do no wrong, and i am always at fault. according to her i drink and drive, i abuse my animals, my kitchen is disgusting, i have threatened to shoot her, i am only after her money, etc. i don't call her crazy to her face but this is crazy stuff.

her place is a little more scattered in recent years, she has made a series of very bad financial decisions like underestimating the value of her house by 100,000, buying an overpriced two story condo for retirement, etc. she will not allow me to have power of attorney, in fact i think deep down she really hates me.

hikeout470

she is about 100 pounds overweight with cardiac problems. She can only walk about 20 steps before she has to stop and catch her breath because of her heart problem. her doctor does not manage her meds to my satisfaction and it appears she has given up on losing the weight so maybe he just realizes there is no hope for improvement.

sunkisses

In Florida we have what's called a Baker Act. I believe it takes 2 family members or a family member and a doctor to confirm that someone is unstable and is a danger to himself or others. It basically helps people get help for their family member who's too "crazy" to know they're "crazy."

What happens is that they fill out paperwork and the person is brought to a facility (usually it's attached to a regular hospital) to be evaluated. If they are found to be too unstable to function to whatever degree they test for, they are then forced to stay for however many number of days and receive treatment. Not that treatment is your goal here, but I believe what should be the goal is to have yourself placed in charge of her medical decisions. If they can find that she's experiencing dementia, you'll be able to change her physicians for her, line up her medical insurance to either have her moved to a home or if she's not so far gone, maybe have someone come out to the home a few times a week to check on her (make sure she's bathing, help her if necessary, etc.)

Google some different terms to see what's available in your state, or call around to a mental facility in your area and find out what your options are. I wish you luck. It's hard to have to take this step, watching that person you once viewed as strong and capable go down like this.

brittanyjeanxo

Hate to say it but you might be right about it being dementia. Maybe you should try to take her to her doctor?

hikeout470

just off the phone to check on Mom. she refuses to call the police, ended up screaming at me and still angry with me, says she will drive down to the police station this afternoon to see if they would take the report, and she tell me to just drop it. She says I harp on a subject and beat it to death. (screaming at me) then she hung up on me. totally hates me, will not listen to my advice to call the police now. am i harping? am i over the top feeling that a police report should have been made immediately when she realized someone entered here house?

fionat29

Oh Honey! I'm so sorry that you're going through all this alone. I wish I could be there for you. If your brothers can do no wrong, could you not explain the situation to them and ask them to talk to your mum? My best wishes are heading your way. :flowerforyou: