My friends won't play with me :(

Debbe2

It is their loss really. You are successful and have lots of insight on "how to" look and feel better.

So many people at the gym... new. old, young that you probably have never spoken to. If you are receptive to some new and more positive relationships, good friendships may develop or at least you'll have some new hang out buddies while you're there. And, hold your head up, you're doing great!

kapeluza

If it were in your shoes, I would go to class and start dancing like this



or like this.




But that's just me. I don't care enough what other people at the gym think of me. I am there to do my exercise and leave, not really to make friends or socialize. I actually try and avoid people because my time is so limited and I try and do the best I can in the short mount of time. If it really bothers you and you would like to keep socializing with these idiots, then you can be the adult since obviously the other reknobs can't and ask them if they have a problem or what the issue is.

Btw, sorry people can't be adults. That sucks.

JennBunny73

That is too bad. They should be admiring you rather than being jealous of you. You have accomplished something wonderful and they should look to you for advice instead of turn the other way. I think it is time to make new friends at the gym. If you truly want to still be friends with them, maybe approach them one at a time and start talking to them..if they are rude or ignore you then they aren't the kind of friends you want to have.

guntherma

I have few friends so I would be devastated - but in my older years I am getting bolder and would probably pull one aside and just bluntly ask - "Are they avoiding me for some reason?" acting as if the person you are talking to is not one of "them" - hopefully you'll get the truth and hopefully it is all a misunderstanding and you will all be talking and laughing again tomorrow.

Contrarian

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

localatte

Hmmm . . . this is a tough one. I think the not knowing always sucks. If you offended them in some way, they should have checked in with you about it vs. acting like high school girls.
They very well could be jealous, you're not the first that this has happened to and you won't be the last, unfortunately! Doesn't make it any easier for you.
Okay, here's my b%#* response. Flaunt your rocking body! Hell, if they're going to be snide anyways why not work it?! I know, easier said than done, and I am sort of joking . . . but ugh, I hate when this happens to women. We should support each other not take each other down, society does that already!
Keep your head up!

killagb

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

It is the MFP way. I'm kind of jealous that you ranted about this before I could.

MrsCon40

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

I find this to be a disturbing trend here. Do we all need to feel better than other people and assume that they are jealous? And it always is heavier people jealous of the fitter ones.

I will also patiently await an explanation.

BondBomb

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

It is the MFP way. I'm kind of jealous that you ranted about this before I could.

I third this. I have never treated someone bad or been jealous because they were thinner than me. If thats the conclusion some of you jump to it makes me think that is how you behave. Which is pretty sad.

ilookthetype

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

It is the MFP way. I'm kind of jealous that you ranted about this before I could.

Same here

Kany

Congratulations on your weight loss achievement. It's great that you're are losing weight and getting fit. I honestly don't think these women are jealous of your success. If anything they should be motivated to do what you do. Yes it does seem petty for them to stop talking to you altogether. They may have their reasons but out of pure jealousy, I don't think so. I really think that you should ask them the reason why they are being like this. It could a comment that you might have made that might have offended one of them (i know girls are sensitive). If they can't even tell you why the sudden change, then I say EFF them all! Who needs friends at the gym anyway? Gym are for exercising not for making petty acquaintances.

BondBomb

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

I find this to be a disturbing trend here. Do we all need to feel better than other people and assume that they are jealous? And it always is heavier people jealous of the fitter ones.

I will also patiently await an explanation.

I am beginning to think this is the 'high-school go-to' response.
OMG she doesnt like u..she's a HATER...she can't sit at our lunch table anymore...4-realz!!!

ctalimenti

Find some smaller friends! LOL!!!

ckmama

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

I find this to be a disturbing trend here. Do we all need to feel better than other people and assume that they are jealous? And it always is heavier people jealous of the fitter ones.

I will also patiently await an explanation.

I don't want to be cruel, but I was sort of thinking the same thing. I'm a total 2x'er and would be happy for you and motivated by you, so I'm not feeling that excuse.

Are you sure you didn't do or say anything that might have been offensive to one or more of them? or maybe they thought that you thought they were jealous? --not saying you did. But who knows people are funny and they are just acquaintances not really friends.

Keep going with your weight loss.

kennethmgreen

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

Because it's easy to think in binary terms. It follows TV plotlines. It requires the least amount of mental effort.

There was someone who recommended the OP actually talk to her friends. I quoted it and agreed. But that approach is way more difficult (both to think about/write about and to enact). Directly dealing with people without jumping to conclusions - not to mention considering context, nuance, varying degrees of tone and meaning - that stuff is hard!

Kany

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

^^ and this

Gigi_licious

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

It is the MFP way. I'm kind of jealous that you ranted about this before I could.

I'm jealous that you saw this rant and got jealous about it first.

IronmanPanda

Really, I cannot understand why everyone always assumes that people are jealous. None of you know what actually happened.

Do you just assume that because people are overweight they are automatically jealous of people who are fit? If you are overweight, is that how you are?

I do not understand this mentality. I would love it if someone could explain why so many people on this website immediately jump to this conclusion.

I find this to be a disturbing trend here. Do we all need to feel better than other people and assume that they are jealous? And it always is heavier people jealous of the fitter ones.

I will also patiently await an explanation.

So you're saying I'm just really an A-hole and no one is actually jealous of ME?
Sad panda... :sad:

sunkisses

Have you asked them what the problem is? Maybe you made an offhand comment that you didn't realise was hurtful to one of them. There has to be a reason for this. I would urge you to find out what it is.

This. I'm all about confronting people. Just say "Hey we're not working out together anymore and I wondered if there was something I said or did that caused that." If they're going to be passive-aggressive about this and tell act like nothing's going on, then wash your hands of them. Strut around in your XS's and remember to keep your chin up.

koosdel

Jealously theory... Spock smash it.