Finding my MOJO

lucycaz

Hi

I just wanted to share the experience of my last 2 weeks and how for me I have realised that losing this weight is more than just a diet.... I hope this may ring bells with some of you and that you find my sharing of this an inspiration...

For those of you that have read my previous posts you may have some idea of how much of an emotional challenge this has been I have been heavy and I mean really heavy all of my life and not just my adult life either –I have tried diets and more diets and still more diets most of my adult life with little or no success. This year I made a change and started to deal with some of the emotional issues and guess what this has changed both my relationship with food and with exercise and surprise surprise the weight has started to fall off....

Well just when I was starting to think this was going to be easy my Personal trainer quit the gym well you might say that’s simple get another personal trainer. However from out of the blue I had the most intense emotional response to this and I mean intense I was tearful, panicked and completely overwhelmed, we had developed a good relationship but this was really intense and OTT. As a gay woman who is deeply in love with my wife I was shocked by how difficult I was finding him leaving.

I booked a session with another trainer at the gym but it did not work I just could not get back into it. My motivation was at a all time low for nearly a week I did not go near the gym, I kept up on my nutrition but it was a struggle every day I analysed and reanalysed my emotions and then I realised that I was falling back into my old patterns crediting everyone else for my own success not believing in myself or that I could do this and most of all even though he had shared with me his very personnel reasons for needing be at the other end of the country I felt rejected and a failure....

Then the penny dropped I thought about all the reasons I was doing this and the key one was that I was doing it for ME and I decided to re-find my Mojo, and with that my motivation and as soon as I made that decision in my head all everything else seemed to slot into place my darling wife announced that although she had planned to buy me a ki-fit (UK version of the bodybugg) for Christmas she wanted me to have it now to help me continue with my journey... I then got a text from my old trainer asking how things were going, I was honest and told him how tough things had been he then reminded me that I had been doing ALL the work ALL the time he also told me that things had been sorted out and he would be back within the month and although not returning to the gym would like to work with me again as a private client...

Now I am a believer in everything happens for a reason and I needed to find my inner strength or I would never complete this journey and because I did find that strength the other things fell back into place.

I realise the difference between the things that I NEED to succeed and the TOOLS that assist me and that these are different.

I only really NEED ME everything else is a BONUS

And you all too can succeed if you dig deep and find your inner MOJO.....

JipsyJudy

Lucy, good for you for posting, and good for you for getting through this. I had a similar experience many years ago. I had a very bad back injury in my late 30s and gained about 50 pounds. My orthopedic doctor sent me to a program where I got several months of physiotherapy treatments, followed by a lot of training with the physiotherapist, followed by three months of supervised gym, with the physiotherapist acting as my trainer. At the end of that whole process, I "graduated" from physiotherapy, which ended my relationship with the physiotherapist who had been with me all that time. I found myself feeling devastated by the loss of that relationship. When I stopped being a physiotherapy patient, the doctor and my physiotherapist had both advised me to join a gym and continue with my exercises, but to avoid working with a trainer there since a trainer wouldn't understand how my back problems meant that I should do things differently. It was awfully hard for me to keep up my program without the cheerleader, coach, and personal fitness counselor on whom I had come to rely. One morning after I had dropped off my kids at school and gone to the gym I was working on a leg press machine and suddenly realized that more than anything in the world I wanted to hear my physiotherapist say to me, "Look at you! I'm seeing some real definition in your quads now!" I almost started laughing as I realized that my physiotherapist gave me the same kind of verbal encouragement I gave my kids. From that moment on I vowed to try to be a better parent to myself. So I started keeping a fitness diary where I could pat myself on the back and celebrate all the little personal bests as they came along. I kept up the program for a couple of years. Eventually I stopped going to the gym and slowly begin to let the weight creep back up. Right now I'm in a bit of an emotional slump about dieting again, and reading your story here makes me realize I need to figure out how to become a better parent to myself again. Thank you for posting this!

CharlieBarleyMom

Lucy - glad to see you found it - it hadn't gone anywhere, you just forgot to look in the right place - inside!

I'm so proud to call you a PAL on MFP - I know that we will both meet our goals and although we are quite a distance apart geographically, we are right here together every day, doing what we know we want to do in order to save us. Not save ourselves, but save us ... save us from someone we're not... and that is quitters and losers...

Excellent!