I had a major realization today...

thebainbridge

I had a similar situation, I thought that I could lose some weight but never considered myself obese. Over the past few years my weight has crept slowly from 8 stone to 16 stone 4 a few months ago. You genuinely don't notice it happening, I just considered myself overweight but when I had to have a small operation and the surgeon said that he couldn't operate on me as my BMI was over 30 and I had to get another surgeon I cried so much. Yet, even knowing that I still continued to eat the way I was and doing very little exercise.

A few months ago I saw some photos of myself and then got a new set of scales and found I was 16 stone 4. I was devastated and cried so much, I couldn't understand how my husband could still love me considering I had let myself become obese but on talking to him he reassured me that he loves me no matter what my weight. Even though this is the case, I still want to lose weight to get to a healthy weight again. I'm not on a specific diet, just eating healthily and exercising 4-5 times a week and within two months I am now 15 stone 5. I've still got a lot of weight to lose but I am determined to get fit again and to feel better.

It's easy to eat a little too much everyday and for the weight to creep up and it is hard to start weight loss but nothing worthwhile having is ever easy.

It's important to feel good about yourself, no matter what your size. I know I have a long way to go with my weight loss goal but I know that a fitter healthier me will feel happier and so I am aiming to be happy

jerridavis2

First, I can completely understand how you feel. I think many of us on this site have had this realization at one time or another.

The first thing that I want to say to you is this:
NEVER QUESTION YOUR HUSBAND'S/BOYFRIEND'S LOVE FOR YOU!! He loves you for the person you are. Not for the size you wear. He loves you because of how he feels when he's with you. He loves you for a million little reasons that you couldn't possibly even fathom. His love for you isn't contingent on what your weight is or where you shop for clothing. It just is. Please understand that.

Secondly:
When you begin to make this change in your life (and it will have to be a life-change), you must do it for you. No one else. Not him, not your family, not your friends... just you! This is truly the one time in your life that you can be as selfish as you want. If your desire to be healthy and lose weight is anchored on someone or something else, it will not last. So before you commit to doing this, take some time and think about the reasons why you want to do it. If you have it settled in your heart and soul that this is what you want, then there is nothing or no one that will be able to hold you back. There will be challenges setbacks, we are only human of course, but you'll have that strength within you to stand back up and keep going. Failure isn't the end. It just shows us that we need to try something different.

Thirdly:
Find someone to confide in regarding this area of your life. And don't be surprised if your friends and family aren't as excited about your new health plans as you are. You will need the support and encouragement. I have a few friends on MFP that are always there to assist and encourage. I also have a friend IRL that is here with me and can share in my struggle and successes. I am so very grateful that person is my husband. I know there are many people whose spouses aren't exactly on the same page regarding healthy living. But having that person you can call when the bag or Oreos is open on the table and you're ready to eat the entire thing because the baby won't stop crying, the car has a flat, and a check bounced is worth more than their weight in gold!!

Regardless of your weight, you are a beautiful, loved person. That will not change as the scale changes.

I really hope you have a better evening. And if you ever need to vent, please feel free to add me!

icemaiden17_uk

You are so very not alone on this one!! I knew I was big and I had tried and failed and then had a baby and been ill and then I saw the size of my maid of honour dress for my sisters wedding! And then I saw the pictures!! I looked like my mother and I said no more! I started doing a food diary ages ago but it didnt really work as I never knew haw many calories I was eating and then I started logging on here and it has worked! Everyone is so nice and suportive and I can as much as I want (healthily) as long as I workout which means I workout every day now! It is great!! And even though I have lost a stone and not dropped a dress size I know I will get there and so will you!!

havalinaaa

With a few minor adjustments, I could have written that. The photo that put me over the edge was from my vacation, and I lost 10 pounds before we left! I couldn't believe that's how I really looked, it forced me to realize how much weight I'd really put on.

Once I had to face the facts, the problems with my diet became glaringly obvious. How did I think it was ok to use an entire stick of butter every time I cooked dinner? How had I deluded myself into thinking home-made alfredo sauce was healthy (sure, healthier than the chemical laden jar versions, but still atrociously high in calories per serving)? How did I think eating deli sandwiches with mayo and cheese every day for lunch was good for me?

The important part is you are being real now, and you know you need to get real about lifestyle changes. Excuses are easy, changes are hard - at first. I was pleasantly surprised how easy it has been to drop the next 10 pounds, and counting! The smallest changes make such huge differences. You can do this! And you don't have to do it alone. Use the forums, make friends on MFP for encouragement and support (feel free to add me if you'd like), set some realistic goals and see how easy it is to meet them!

Momma747

This exact thing happened to me except it was pictures from New years this past year. A friend of mine had taken the pictures however did not post them until this past summer on FB. I was completely speechless ( not in a good way) at how big I had become. I have always been the same thinking it would help if I lost a few pounds but its not like I really NEED to. I look at that picture almost every day now. I completely understand where you are coming from. We are here to listen and be supportive! :happy:

lilyfluffbottom

I am in constant denial about how I really look. I avoided pictures for years because I just couldn't stand to be seen. And I have this really terrible picture of me sitting sideways in a chair, looking like I weigh 500 lbs instead of 300. I've lost a little weight since then, but what I've learned is, (and I'm eating halloween candy while writing this so take it with a grain of salt) You have to love what you see in the mirror, and pictures. Its you. If you don't, no matter what weight you're at you'll never see yourself as you are; beautiful and intelligent and capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to.

Kslice39

Thank you all so much. I have realized, with your help, i need to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something positive in my life. Thank you all so so so SO much for everything. I can even express to you how grateful I am to you. I have never felt so much support in my life. My family, as always, is very critical of everything i do and how i look. They really have nothing positive to say...you would think i would have got the hit from them about how fat I've become! My man has always been there for me but he just doesnt understand the way you all do because he's never had an issue like this before. I still cant believe the person in the picture is me but i realize i need to change that person to how i really feel. I truly feel the warmth of your support and i want to thank you again, hopefully one day i can post on here a success story and thank you all yet again. I love you all and again thank you for everything. thank you.<3<3<3

janarmac

I know exactly how you feel!!!
After seeing myself in my friends wedding pictures I had the *click* where I knew I wasn't just "bigger" anymore and had a complete meltdown. I probably cried for a good hour straight then got angry and purged my kitchen of all the junk food I had and my closet of all of the clothes that no longer fit me (I regret getting rid of the clothes now...).
As crappy as that all was, that was the wake up call I needed to get me back in motion and care about myself again!

It's a tough journey and you'll have good days and bad days but places like MFP really help!!!


You can't push through a wall until you've hit it. This is you hitting that wall, now it's time to break through and become a better you!!!

Good Luck with your journey!!!

wmemmett

I was always pretty thin when I was a kid and had a pretty high metabolism. I was 190 (6'3") when I got married and not long ago I looked at the scale and I was 240. Thus the change in lifestyle. I used to watch those Biggest Loser-type shows with my wife and wonder how those folks got that way. When I saw 240 on my scale I knew the answer....one day at a time. That's the way I got this heavy and that's the way I'll get out of it.

Don't sweat the bad feelings and pity of how you got this way. Turn it into motivation that will help you get, day by day, to a place where you don't look OR feel that way again. You can do it.

nicehormones

You are gold now. This is the beginning. Nothing will hold you back now from changing your life.

ShannaDBowser

A few weeks ago, a group of friends and I went to the local Renaissance Faire. I wore this cute floor length plaid skirt, green tank, and a dark green corset. I thought I looked great! ... and then I saw the photos a friend took while we were there. It made me want to scream and cry. I have this mental image of myself that seriously does not match my outside, so I know how you are feeling.

Here's the photo:

Since I've actively started using MFP, the forums have been a source of encouragement for me, as have my friends. I've lost 7 lbs in 2 weeks and hope to continue the tread. Every journey has a catalyst and a first step. That photo can be your catalyst and your first step was joining MFP. Welcome to the fold and we'll help you how we can.

NiennaMarie

I felt exactly the same, I never realised how big I'd got either but once I'd seen it I used it to take control of my eating habits and I am now determined to get it off. Don't get too down about it, use it now as your motivation to get fit and healthy and get the weight off!

MinnieInMaine

Saw your reply but I just wanted to chime in another "you're not alone!". I was in the same place about 2 years ago. My body image was pretty good - knew I was overweight and needed to be better about eating right and exercising not just for weight loss but for my health as well (cholesterol levels creeping up & family history of heart disease). I think the difference was that I'd started feeling bad about how i looked and not having cute clothes to wear when I met up with friends. I even started avoiding the scale and I'd been a regular weigher for years! But really, it was the pictures from a couple of trips I took in 2009 that were the final straw. Who was that woman?!

Glad you're able to turn this in to motivation!

Kslice39

I would love more people to reply. It makes me feel good to know i am not at this alone and there are others out there willing to lend a helping hand to someone who has fallen. I hope others can connect here and feel the same way i do now. I have never in my life felt so much support and love from people ive never even met and i want others to feel the same. I want everyone to know the power word have. I feel like i finally got the shove that i needed to change my life, you all have changed my life. You have given me the courage to change my life, to become the person i have always felt inside and show the world who i really am. Thank you<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Vhovell

I know how you feel totally. And today is day one to improving your life and being happy with how you look. I didn't realise how big i had got, or how my fiance could love me. It's hard to hit this low but now it's time to pick yourself up and start a new journey.

I don't know what made me decide to loose weight, like proper loose weight and not just say it. Once that thing clicks you will be well away, believe me and it sounds like it may have clicked for you )

MFP is a great place for help, support and advice just be true to yourself and believe me you all of a sudden realise where and how you were going wrong! There will be bad days and hard days but you can do it.

Good luck on your journey, feel free to add me YOU CAN DO IT!

Vikki

bcattoes

Crying won't help. Those tears will not wash away the pounds. Exercise and a healthy diet will. You know what you need to do, so wipe away the tears and get started. The sooner you begin, the sooner you will succeed.

psych101

I think that the catalyst for a lot of people was seeing a picture of themselves....I know that it was for me.

Use that picture as motivation. think ahead to halloween next year and how smokin' hot you're going to look, then work your butt off to get there!

You can do this. You know you can

x

mrb_9110

The same thing happened to me. Last year was my first year of college, so of course I gained the "Freshman 15". By Christmas when I got to see a lot of my friends from high school again, I could tell they could tell I was heavier and the pictures taken then were HORRIBLE. Over the holiday break I started to get serious about losing that weight. To some people, and extra 15 or 20 pounds might not seem like a lot to lose compared to 50 or even 100, but losing any amount of weight takes hard work and support from people who understand.

STOP WALLOWING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I know that seems impossible but it's not. It's definitely not easy and you WILL mess up somewhere along the way; I do all the time. But it's important to keep going. Good luck!

Kslice39

You are all amazing and it warms my heart to know that perfect strangers would put themselves out there to support me. thank you all

slenderagain

Oh, I can relate! I had been on MFP for a few days and had lost a few pounds by Halloween. I don't know why, but when I start losing weight all of a sudden I just FEEL skinny. Even though I look exactly the same. So when I saw photos from Halloween, I was so disappointed that I didn't look as skinny as I felt. It totally messed with my head, too, because today I just said to heck with it and ate a whole bunch of Halloween candy.

I'm back on the wagon tomorrow and I'm just going to power through it. Just remember that the people in our lives love us for who we are, and people who see us all the time don't notice our fat when they see us. Because to them, we just look like us.

Tardis17

I couldn't pass by without sending you a hug. I hope you're feeling better and more positive now.

Think of that photo as your starting line, imagine stepping over that line and starting to head towards your goal. You can do this! Take one day at a time and stick with it. Find all your strength, take a deep breath and hold your head up high because you're going to show everyone who didn't support you or ever called you names exactly what you're capable of. Ignore them and do this for you. (((HUG)))

Kslice39

Find all your strength, take a deep breath and hold your head up high because you're going to show everyone who didn't support you or ever called you names exactly what you're capable of. Ignore them and do this for you. (((HUG)))

Thank you that was very inspirational! Because of all the wonderful and amazing people on here like you, this is exacty what I plan on doing. I am going to show all those who doubted me and even show myself that I CAN do this! We can ALL do this!!!! With the love, support and encouragement from eachother we can conquer this obesity epidemic and hange our lives for the better! I can't express the graditude I have for people like you willing to lend a helping hand to a perfect stranger and help them up to their feet, Thank You <3<3<3<3

Tardis17

So glad you're feeling positive! :-) You've made the first step so just keep going. There's so much great advice and support on here. XxxX

Kslice39

I just want to say that i feel so empowered and motivated! Everyone is so inspirational! All of the weight loss success stories and encouraging words makes me want to work nonstop to live a healthy lifestyle! I just feel so addicted to being healthy, like i cant get enough of MFP, gym time, looking up healthy recipes, etc!!! I hope this feeling of empowerment stays with me throughout this journey!