Feeling rather hopeless

SueInAz

The more I really think about it, the more I know I DON'T want my jeans to be tight again. I don't want my shirts to be tight again. So I really don't want to give up. I am doing this for me. I am doing it because it feels better to be more active. I want to do it because it feels better to eat healthier. I also don't want to be super lazy and never doing any exercise. I have done that for too long and I am just so weak (no muscles) and not much endurance and it's pretty sad how little I can do right now. I don't want to rely on food for "happiness" for the rest of my life. I want to actually go out and live life. However, I have a long ways to go before I can do that I think.

Gosh, I practically just told my life story on here. Kind of embarrassing haha. But again, I really appreciate everyone being so nice and understanding. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

I was sitting here practically cheering out loud for you as I read this part and my eyes are all watery. You CAN do this and do it for the right reasons. When I started all of this in March I was weak and out of shape, too. I could barely run for 30 seconds without feeling like I wanted to die and I wasn't even technically overweight! What I was was flabby from not getting off the sofa or away from the computer in a decade. I started the Couch to 5K program in April and last weekend I ran/walked 8 miles. I'm training for a half marathon in January and I know I can do it because I WANT to do it. You can reach the goals you want if you want it badly enough and it sounds like you honestly do.

I hope everything works out for you, just the way you want it to. If you'd like to friend me here, please feel free to do so.

16mixingbowls

Thanks again for the people who gave me encouragement. I focused too much on the negative and now I am feeling kind of silly for allowing someone being negative to get the better of me.

I think lately it's just feeling a lot more lonely because I am breaking away from my coping habit of watching tv and eating too much junk food. So things are just kind of really coming to the surface and I am having to deal with them. It's just getting to be overwhelming.

I also don't want to be super lazy and never doing any exercise. I have done that for too long and I am just so weak (no muscles) and not much endurance and it's pretty sad how little I can do right now. I want to actually go out and live life. However, I have a long ways to go before I can do that I think.

Hello again, I think you are making huge strides in this journey by thinking about these issues. Also, I think your goals might be too big or too general. You can't go out and live life???? Unless you're living in a cave, you have small opportunities to do this every day. Sure, you might not go out tomorrow night and have your IDEAL 100-item list of things be fulfilled in one night, but you can definitely START doing things. Why not write down a list of things you'd like to do and plan backward about how to achieve them?

In teaching this is called Backward Mapping. Us teachers take a learning objective we have for our class and then figure out step by step what our students will need to learn to do in order to complete the objective. (For example: to create a fictional business that makes profit, students would need to learn about price per unit, which would necessitate division skills, which would require understanding multiplication, which requires understanding repeated addition facts, which requires basic number sense. Then, as a teacher, I'd start teaching number sense and addition and move forward from there. But my planning goes backward. I can't JUST JUMP IN. The kids would never be successful.)

I suggest doing this kind of planning for yourself. You don't want to waste another day hoping and wishing for a life that is fulfilling!!! If you're waiting for the scene to be perfect, you'll never get the life you want.

Try this for your physical goals, too. I used to be soooooo weak in my upper body. I couldn't even do a real push-up. So I did as many as I could from my knees and wrote that number down. The next day, I added one more. Finally, after about a week, I could do a real push-up! Same goes for my cardio. I got so tired after about 15 minutes. SO my goal became to add one minute every day. 16, 17, 18, etc. When I got to 20 minutes I started increasing by 5 minute increments. Then, I was able to be proud of my achievements rather than be down on myself that I can't run for an hour straight. On days I was feeling especially tired, I went back to the number from the day before, but made sure to never do less than the day before.

I don't know what kind of cell phone you have, but I just read about a cool new app called "Streaks." You can enter in any goal you have, and then log each day you do it, and it keeps track of your streak of commitment. I'm going to get it and keep track of my personal "no ice cream" streak. I want to go at least 7 days. (Ice cream is my kryptonite!)

You can do this!!!