What People Say To You, or DON'T

TinaDay1114

I've lost about 17 lbs. over the past year, most of it since joining on here in May. I feel FANTASTIC, am wearing sizes smaller than before I had kids, and am fitter than I've ever been (I've got BICEPS that actually show, for the first time in my life). I'm actually starting to like my body, for the first time in 40 years. BIG NSVs, all of them!

But I have a confession -- part of me wants someone to notice all the hard work (someone besides my husband, and all my great MFP friends)!

What's been your experience with this phenomenon? Do you think people in your life are just afraid to say something b/c they don't want to offend? Is 10-15 lbs. not enough of a difference for people who see you every day to notice? Or am I just falling prey to my own (gulp) vanity?? **embarassed to admit it might be so** :blushing:

hbarney

I think most people want others to notice and recognize it. I do think that at times people aren't sure what to say so they don't say anything. Keep up the great job and listen to those that are acknowledging your efforts!!!!!!!

Aegelis

Weight is a personal and touchy subject. I don't mention it unless it's one of my guy friends with casual mention, "Lost some weight there?", "training for a marathon?' and let it go. In all other cases, society deems it taboo. If you do it for yourself, you'll never be disappointed. If your husband notices, that's a blessing beyond most people have.

TwinMumCork

I totally understand the need.

That is definitely enough weight for people to notice.

I suggest wearing something real figure hugging that will really reveal your new figure.

That should invoke a response. You deserve a reward for all your hard work.

Qarol

But I have a confession -- part of me wants someone to notice all the hard work (someone besides my husband, and all my great MFP friends)!

sorry...these are the ONLY people I want to notice. I cannot stand it when other people say something about my weight loss. It makes me think bad things...

lexximan

I am right there with you.

I still dont see myself as thinner or weighing less, and if no one else says anything to me how am supposed to know if I am doing a good job.

microwoman999

I think that the amount you lost and the time it took to loose it......It is to vague for people to notice. It is great that you are so happy with your body and you should be. I think it took about 20lbs or more for people to notice on me and I did it fast pace so the lbs came of quickly. I wish more people could tell you because it is a great feeling to hear it and you really should be happy for yourself!

bhoochy

LOL I know what you mean. I have alot of friends who say..."Oh your face is looking so slim." My face was never the problem.

lrod2323

I think some people are jealous so they say nothing, or they really are just oblivious lol Alot of people dont notice things if it doesnt involve themselves.

TheirEllie82

I'm a teller supervisor so I see a lot of the same people daily and I fully understand your need of having people notice. The weeks no one says anything about my progress I eat more junk but the weeks people say something I am all over eating right and staying on track.

Aviendha_RJ

It wasn't until I hit around the 20lbs mark that people starting noticing my weight loss journey. I started to feel the way that you do as well. :ohwell:

The people that see you every day don't notice it much because it is a gradual change. If you meet up with someone you haven't seen in a few months, they'll notice, believe me. But the people who see you every day see past it, because they're used to it... wait till you hit around 20. A friend of mine at work told me "hey, I never noticed your *kitten* before" when I was filling the photocopier with paper... lol... apparently I never HAD an *kitten* to speak of previously. :huh:

It'll come. :bigsmile:

TinaDay1114

LOL I know what you mean. I have alot of friends who say..."Oh your face is looking so slim." My face was never the problem.

LMAO People are so SILLY!!

mickipedia

I think that maybe its not enough to notice the difference hugely.. especially if they see you every day. I've had a few comments when I've seen people I might not have seen for a few weeks about me losing weight.. but then again I know I wouldn't wanna say to someone "have you lost weight" just in case they say "no" and then think I'm being insulting. The main thing is to make sure you're happy in yourself.. and if you're not necessarily noticing the difference trying measuring hips/waist etc so you can get a figure that way of what you're losing.

Good luck and I'm always here for support so feel free to add me xx

garysgirl719

I've lost about 17 lbs. over the past year, most of it since joining on here in May. I feel FANTASTIC, am wearing sizes smaller than before I had kids, and am fitter than I've ever been (I've got BICEPS that actually show, for the first time in my life). I'm actually starting to like my body, for the first time in 40 years. BIG NSVs, all of them!

But I have a confession -- part of me wants someone to notice all the hard work (someone besides my husband, and all my great MFP friends)!

What's been your experience with this phenomenon? Do you think people in your life are just afraid to say something b/c they don't want to offend? Is 10-15 lbs. not enough of a difference for people who see you every day to notice? Or am I just falling prey to my own (gulp) vanity?? **embarassed to admit it might be so** :blushing:

I have to admit, to me, it sounds like some vanity. I also admit though, I have the same issue. I have worked really hard for it, and love when others notice. However, there is the flip side to the coin. Would we be equally happy if they pointed it out when we gained?

jenalderman

Oh DON'T GET ME STARTED on this one. Women, as a general rule are jealous creatures!!!! I have lost just short of 90 lbs now. After about 50 I would notice their eyes go up and down. It was obvious that they noticed and yet the sooooooo few would EVER comment. Even now, having gone from a size 22 to a size 10 some of them pretend not to notice. It hurt my feelings at times, infuriated me at other times. Don't get me wrong....the one's that love me and support me always commented but every now and then I would have loved to hear from those who didn't know my daily struggle with food choices and exercise. Hang in there.... focus on the people closest to you who do notice. If it's just your hubby for now, then cling to his every word. Just know in YOUR heart and mind that it all counts and it shows!

LivLovLrn

I agree that it is a societal taboo. People don't want to hurt your feelings by saying something and being wrong.

TinaDay1114

I think some people are jealous so they say nothing, or they really are just oblivious lol Alot of people dont notice things if it doesnt involve themselves.

I think that's true, too! You worry so much about what other people are thinking, and usually (what's that old saying??) they're too busy thinking about what you might be thinking about THEM to notice.

efarrar13

My experience is people do notice but most won't say it to your face. I trained and ran my first marathon and I am down over 30 lbs since I started running (13 or so on here.) No one from the neighborhood has said a word to me(in person or facebook.) Of my wife and I am the more out going one. She stands at the bus stop with my son and everyone keeps telling her how great I look and how I am always running. I see these people all the time and they say nothing to me. I think seeing someone be succesful and "facing" them is like looking in a mirror. In order to aknowledge your successes they have to admit to themselves they didn't. I don't know, only thing that seems to make sense. The reason I think this is I put my kids to bed, so most of the time I am out running in the dark at night. One of the neighbors told my wife he saw me running as he was getting ready to head to bed. He hesitated and thought, "or I could work out like Ed." He ultimately decided to go to bed. So I think their is some level of guilt on their part.

bcattoes

What's been your experience with this phenomenon? Do you think people in your life are just afraid to say something b/c they don't want to offend? Is 10-15 lbs. not enough of a difference for people who see you every day to notice? Or am I just falling prey to my own (gulp) vanity?? **embarassed to admit it might be so** :blushing:

My experience is that people are afraid to say something. At least I guess that is the reason. My husband and I work for the same company but in different departments. When I dropped 20 lbs no one mentioned it. I was down 2 dress sizes and it was very noticiable. I mentioned to my husband one day that it kind of bothered me that no one mentioned it and he said "Really? Several people have mentioned it to me".

????

TinaDay1114

I think that maybe its not enough to notice the difference hugely.. especially if they see you every day. I've had a few comments when I've seen people I might not have seen for a few weeks about me losing weight.. but then again I know I wouldn't wanna say to someone "have you lost weight" just in case they say "no" and then think I'm being insulting. The main thing is to make sure you're happy in yourself.. and if you're not necessarily noticing the difference trying measuring hips/waist etc so you can get a figure that way of what you're losing.

Good luck and I'm always here for support so feel free to add me xx

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!! Just lovely, and I love your confidence in that last photo!!

Contrarian

Sometimes people don't mention how much you have lost because they don't want to imply that you were overweight before. Weight can be a touchy subject so some people just steer clear of the entire conversation.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and be happy you are successful. While pats on the back are nice, not receiving them doesn't have to impact you one way or the other.

luv_lea

I get negative and positive comments. I don't care what anyone thinks (except MAYBE the person I'm with). I'm not doing this for anyone other than myself, and the healthy habits side for my son. But that's just me.

lrod2323

Oh DON'T GET ME STARTED on this one. Women, as a general rule are jealous creatures!!!! I have lost just short of 90 lbs now. After about 50 I would notice their eyes go up and down. It was obvious that they noticed and yet the sooooooo few would EVER comment. Even now, having gone from a size 22 to a size 10 some of them pretend not to notice. It hurt my feelings at times, infuriated me at other times. Don't get me wrong....the one's that love me and support me always commented but every now and then I would have loved to hear from those who didn't know my daily struggle with food choices and exercise. Hang in there.... focus on the people closest to you who do notice. If it's just your hubby for now, then cling to his every word. Just know in YOUR heart and mind that it all counts and it shows!

(my reply to this was posted somewhere else lol sorry everyone, Im new on here and cant figure this out yet)

Aegelis

This reminds me of the commercial where there's a man approaching a woman at the office:

Man: "So when are you due?"

Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!"

TinaDay1114

I have to admit, to me, it sounds like some vanity. I also admit though, I have the same issue. I have worked really hard for it, and love when others notice. However, there is the flip side to the coin. Would we be equally happy if they pointed it out when we gained?

REALLY GOOD point -- that would be reaaaaaaallly bad. Hmmm. That one's gonna stick with me.

evans72002

There's no excuse for people not noticing. I don't like when people say, "have you lost weight?" but would it kill them to say, "you look great?" You can't really take that the wrong way.

TinaDay1114

This reminds me of the commercial where there's a man approaching a woman at the office:

Man: "So when are you due?"

Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!"

OH, don't get me started -- I used to get asked that at least 1x/month after I had my first kid. At least I haven't been asked that in about 6 months, so that's PROGRESS!! :laugh:

lrod2323

You are so right, very true. Especially if your "friends" are not as fit looking as you and not happy with themselves, they wont be happy with you.

acstansell

I feel you - I've lost 16lbs in 50 days and unless I mention it, no one comments. I don' t know if it's because I weighed too much for it to be really noticeable yet, or if it's because I'm still wearing my old clothes (though not for much longer) or if it's because people just don't want to ask...

It gets bad because i just want some one to ask - to notice - in some way, it helps with motivation. My husband hasn't really said much, but he is happy that I'm trying...

Sigh...

TinaDay1114

I feel you - I've lost 16lbs in 50 days and unless I mention it, no one comments. I don' t know if it's because I weighed too much for it to be really noticeable yet, or if it's because I'm still wearing my old clothes (though not for much longer) or if it's because people just don't want to ask...

It gets bad because i just want some one to ask - to notice - in some way, it helps with motivation. My husband hasn't really said much, but he is happy that I'm trying...

Sigh...

HANG in there. I think wearing new clothes truer to your new size (even if they're from a consignment store to get you through the transition) makes a difference -- you feel better, and I think people can see it more. Once I started getting a few pieces in my new size, it made me feel FANTASTIC.

TinaDay1114

There's no excuse for people not noticing. I don't like when people say, "have you lost weight?" but would it kill them to say, "you look great?" You can't really take that the wrong way.

^^^ THIS. :flowerforyou: Hee hee....