NSV good and bad maybe???

koylefam

So my sis in law says to me "we are finding out what our baby is (boy/girl) next week. But we are going to wait and surprise everyone and tell Christmas day. Won't that be GREAT?" And in my mind I think PERFECT (with MAJOR SARCASAM) I am already spending Christmas with my other sis in law and her 2 month old baby, and now you are announcing gender, all the whiile I also have to survive the day celebrating my first Christmas without my baby (that would be 9 months old). Can I just skip CHristmas with the in-laws PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE....................
But I just say "yeah, I guess that would be a fun thing for you." All the while choking back tears ( I don't cry in public)...........
On a normal day I would go home and eat any and all junk in sight.......... not this time............ Maybe I am having this NSV because I hurt tooo much to even bother to eat......... or maybe it's because my habits are changing....... either way I will celebrate this because right at this moment i need something in my life wirthy of celebration

CollegeGirl19

I am so sorry for your loss! That seems really insensitive of your sister, but I'm sure she didn't mean it to come across that way. Sometimes people get too wrapped up in their own lives to think about how others might feel.

quietlywinning

I am so sorry. Having lost 4 babies, I remember how hard it was to deal with people and their babies. I LOVE babies, I wanted to love specific babies, but it was just too hard to think of anything but the baby I no longer had. I shared a due date with a friend, then had a 23 week stillbirth.....it took me 4 months to hold that baby.

(((hugs))) And YES. You CAN skip Christmas with the in-laws if you need to. A Christmas vacation might be exactly what you need. While you need to be loving and accepting and allow the excitement of others, you must also meet YOUR needs. YOU matter every bit as much as anyone else. If they are people capable of thinking, they will understand, even if it makes them feel sad, makes them miss you, or makes them miss the joy of "everyone" being thrilled for them. It's life. You are their family every bit as much as they are yours, and the give and take has to go both ways all the way through.

Myrtlemama4

Im so sorry for your loss. I had a loss in 2007 and it is still hard to put my head around it sometimes. Seek support in others, and do not suffer alone. Good job on paying attention to your eating habits. We are all here for you.

msmileyface

I like the idea of a Christmas getaway for you. If you have a good relationship with the in-laws, perhaps you can just tell them that you are so happy about their growing families, but this is a hard time for you and you need to "get away" at the holidays so that you don't have to endure too much pain (and thus allowing them to be as excited as they want, completely un-censored).

Thoughts & prayers are with you. Stay strong and keep up the good work!

koylefam

Thank you all for the encouragement. And support, I am happy for them . Just hurt. We were blessed with 20 minues with our little girl ( she was full term but had Trisomy 18). And while I wouldn't undo any of it, holidays are SOOOOO hard. Espically since my one sis-in-law is announcing and the other one will be here with a 2 month old little girl.........