I Feel Like Garbage Can

jbpretty

I am so frustrated. Maybe some of you have been here because I know this isn't the first time for me.

Here's a little about me first. It's taken about 17 months but I've managed to lose 69.5 pounds. It feels great! I don't know where my goal is at the moment and for whatever reason that bugs me. I'm 5'7" and I just have no idea where I'm going. I've finally made it to the "healthy" BMI range at 158.5 lbs but this isn't where I want to be. I feel a little lost. I've had some people who were supporting me become less than supportive as the weight has come off so I think I will have to cut those ties. I guess this is all very new for me because I haven't been here in 17 years - since I was 16. I'm enjoying this body. I want to be thinner yet and I'm getting frustrated with myself because I've had a throw away week where I ate like I was a garbage can and I feel like I just can't get a grip. I am really disappointed with myself. I really hate this out-of-control feeling.

What do you do to get back on track? I am back to logging but I am not happy at all and I just wish I could undo it all. I'm sure the scale won't be that bad but it's the getting a grip too.

Plus any extra help you can offer on setting your personal goals would be great. I'm hoping I'll know when I see it or feel it. Maybe that's part of the problem here, the food I've been eating makes me physically FEEL poor. Maybe a cleanse would be in order?

Sorry if this is too much information or too long. Any information you can offer is appreciated.

LadyOfOceanBreeze

I am so frustrated. Maybe some of you have been here because I know this isn't the first time for me.

Here's a little about me first. It's taken about 17 months but I've managed to lose 69.5 pounds. It feels great! I don't know where my goal is at the moment and for whatever reason that bugs me. I'm 5'7" and I just have no idea where I'm going. I've finally made it to the "healthy" BMI range at 158.5 lbs but this isn't where I want to be. I feel a little lost. I've had some people who were supporting me become less than supportive as the weight has come off so I think I will have to cut those ties. I guess this is all very new for me because I haven't been here in 17 years - since I was 16. I'm enjoying this body. I want to be thinner yet and I'm getting frustrated with myself because I've had a throw away week where I ate like I was a garbage can and I feel like I just can't get a grip. I am really disappointed with myself. I really hate this out-of-control feeling.

What do you do to get back on track? I am back to logging but I am not happy at all and I just wish I could undo it all. I'm sure the scale won't be that bad but it's the getting a grip too.

Plus any extra help you can offer on setting your personal goals would be great. I'm hoping I'll know when I see it or feel it. Maybe that's part of the problem here, the food I've been eating makes me physically FEEL poor. Maybe a cleanse would be in order?

Sorry if this is too much information or too long. Any information you can offer is appreciated.

our bodies cleanse themselves, think RAW foods,,,,you know the drill!!! you can get back to it without much trouble

because you already know how baby steps, start in the morning after a good night's rest, it'll be fine!

would you like to join us for the 5 pound a month challenge? come on over to a great group...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/378682-lose-5-pounds-a-month-november-2011-challenge

would love to see ya there & friend me too, I will send you a request. Biggest 3 things, RAW, sleep & H2O!!!

You CAN DO THIS:flowerforyou:

shellimus

I'm having a rough week too. I would like to hear what others have to say, but I really think finding a solid motivation will help, something really worth fighting for, ya know?

shellimus

I am so frustrated. Maybe some of you have been here because I know this isn't the first time for me.

Here's a little about me first. It's taken about 17 months but I've managed to lose 69.5 pounds. It feels great! I don't know where my goal is at the moment and for whatever reason that bugs me. I'm 5'7" and I just have no idea where I'm going. I've finally made it to the "healthy" BMI range at 158.5 lbs but this isn't where I want to be. I feel a little lost. I've had some people who were supporting me become less than supportive as the weight has come off so I think I will have to cut those ties. I guess this is all very new for me because I haven't been here in 17 years - since I was 16. I'm enjoying this body. I want to be thinner yet and I'm getting frustrated with myself because I've had a throw away week where I ate like I was a garbage can and I feel like I just can't get a grip. I am really disappointed with myself. I really hate this out-of-control feeling.

What do you do to get back on track? I am back to logging but I am not happy at all and I just wish I could undo it all. I'm sure the scale won't be that bad but it's the getting a grip too.

Plus any extra help you can offer on setting your personal goals would be great. I'm hoping I'll know when I see it or feel it. Maybe that's part of the problem here, the food I've been eating makes me physically FEEL poor. Maybe a cleanse would be in order?

Sorry if this is too much information or too long. Any information you can offer is appreciated.

our bodies cleanse themselves, think RAW foods,,,,you know the drill!!! you can get back to it without much trouble

because you already know how baby steps, start in the morning after a good night's rest, it'll be fine!

would you like to join us for the 5 pound a month challenge? come on over to a great group...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/378682-lose-5-pounds-a-month-november-2011-challenge

would love to see ya there & friend me too, I will send you a request. Biggest 3 things, RAW, sleep & H2O!!!

You CAN DO THIS:flowerforyou:

That is great advice!

Elzecat

I can very much relate to this...I'm setting very small goals for myself--starting with getting back into the gym for cross training (I've been doing pretty much nothing but running for the past few months). My goal is to get into the gym for weights/cross training activities 2 days a week and go from there...

I can also relate to the eating like crap. I find myself hibernating kinda from the cold and spending too much time at home eating junk...

LadyOfOceanBreeze

I am so frustrated. Maybe some of you have been here because I know this isn't the first time for me.

Here's a little about me first. It's taken about 17 months but I've managed to lose 69.5 pounds. It feels great! I don't know where my goal is at the moment and for whatever reason that bugs me. I'm 5'7" and I just have no idea where I'm going. I've finally made it to the "healthy" BMI range at 158.5 lbs but this isn't where I want to be. I feel a little lost. I've had some people who were supporting me become less than supportive as the weight has come off so I think I will have to cut those ties. I guess this is all very new for me because I haven't been here in 17 years - since I was 16. I'm enjoying this body. I want to be thinner yet and I'm getting frustrated with myself because I've had a throw away week where I ate like I was a garbage can and I feel like I just can't get a grip. I am really disappointed with myself. I really hate this out-of-control feeling.

What do you do to get back on track? I am back to logging but I am not happy at all and I just wish I could undo it all. I'm sure the scale won't be that bad but it's the getting a grip too.

Plus any extra help you can offer on setting your personal goals would be great. I'm hoping I'll know when I see it or feel it. Maybe that's part of the problem here, the food I've been eating makes me physically FEEL poor. Maybe a cleanse would be in order?

Sorry if this is too much information or too long. Any information you can offer is appreciated.

our bodies cleanse themselves, think RAW foods,,,,you know the drill!!! you can get back to it without much trouble

because you already know how baby steps, start in the morning after a good night's rest, it'll be fine!

would you like to join us for the 5 pound a month challenge? come on over to a great group...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/378682-lose-5-pounds-a-month-november-2011-challenge

would love to see ya there & friend me too, I will send you a request. Biggest 3 things, RAW, sleep & H2O!!!

You CAN DO THIS:flowerforyou:

That is great advice!

thank you, I appreciate the feedback too

ChangingAshleyForLife

I'm having a rough week too. I would like to hear what others have to say, but I really think finding a solid motivation will help, something really worth fighting for, ya know?

I have had the same problem this week and I am def going to take your advise and get back on track!

MA2012

I agree, sometimes I get fustrated but I try not to focus on losing weight faster! I just think of it is a rgular day, school, work, working out, visting family and friends then I began to see results after I stoped obssesing about my weight.

Eleanorjanethinner

Hi there,

You say "I've finally made it to the "healthy" BMI range at 158.5 lbs but this isn't where I want to be. I feel a little lost."

To me that suggests that you could do some soul searching... you've had a major journey over a long time focussed on a particular goal. Maybe you added some things to your weight goal i.e. 'When I get to a healthy BMI I'll: feel better about myself, be confident, be happy, have a more active social life, feel prettier, get a partner" or whatever...

Have a long look inside and see - what were you expecting when you reached your goal? Were they reasonable expectations? Are they achievable? Can you do things to make them happen (i.e. reach out more to others to strengthen your social life)?

And generally, now that you've more or less dealt with your weight, where to now? (Obviously need to stay healthy and keep maintaining) but what else? Could you volunteer? Learn a language? Get into a new hobby? What does your perfect life look like and how can you take small steps towards it?

Good luck on your emotional journey and well done for your progress so far!

kmbrooks15

Maybe you need to just concentrate on eating healthy and exercising and not worry about counting calories for a few weeks. It takes a long time to lose the kind of weight you've lost, and maybe you need a break from it all. Just focus for a little while on being happy and adjusting to the "new you". Set a time limit for this...maybe January 1. Until January 1, you will just focus on enjoying your family and friends and living a healthy lifestyle. Enjoy an occasional treat, but don't go overboard. Don't worry about counting and numbers for a while. Make sure you still exercise, though...exercising releases endorphins, which make you feel good. Then, on January 1 (a great time for fresh starts), sit down and evaluate where you are and where you want to go from here. What are you trying to accomplish by losing weight? Is it to look like a swimsuit model, or is it to be a healthy weight so you can be active with your family and friends? Then decide if that is a realistic expectation. If it is, what do you need to do to get there? If it's not, then tone it down to a more reasonable expectation.

I know I will never be a swimsuit model or anything like that. That's not my goal. My goal is to be comfortable in a swimsuit when I take my kids to the pool (a one-piece...I don't wear bikinis!). My goal is to be able to go places with my kids without worrying about how tired I'll be and how badly my feet and back will hurt at the end of the day. My goal is to be able to go on long bike rides with my kids without being exhausted. I'm also aiming more for a certain size (8) than a number of pounds, though I do have a goal weight in mind. Sometimes I think we make our goals so rigid that they seem completely out of our grasp.

It sounds like you need to give yourself a break and some time to figure out what you really want out of this. If you are still struggling with it, find a good counselor who can help you work through these issues. You could get down to a size 2, but if you aren't happy inside, it won't matter. Ultimately, it's what's inside that counts most, so work on figuring that out for awhile.

I have always needed to lose weight. I had a husband who constantly sabotaged my efforts, though (he'd bring me a milkshake, knowing I couldn't eat it, then when I said no, thank you, he'd get mad and not speak to me for 3 days!). Last year, I found out he was abusing our daughter; while he was out on bond awaiting trial, he killed himself. It has taken me a year of dealing with all of this and finding my footing (I'd been married 18 years) as a single woman and single parent before I had the strength to begin the weight loss efforts again. I feel like it will succeed this time because I have an incredible support system (I moved to be near my parents and sister, and they have been tremendous support). I also went to counseling after all this occurred in order to work through all of the issues it raised for me. A good counselor can help you see things more objectively and can assist you with figuring out where you want to go from here. Your insurance may even pay for it; it's worth checking.

Please feel free to add me as a friend if you want to. I know how hard this can be and what a struggle it is to find your footing, but I also know that most people are stronger than they think they are. If you'd asked me two years ago if I could handle going through a situation like I've been through this last year, I'd have said NO WAY. But I've discovered through it all that I'm stronger than I thought. I have a feeling you are, too; you're just experiencing what I call a "valley period". But don't worry...you can come out on top of the mountain if you fight your way through!

jbpretty

This was the first time I'd ever posted a question or topic on here and am I ever glad I did!

Thanks for the feedback.

Having a good night's sleep does make a difference. I can do this. I need to take a deep breath in and just do it. I am afraid I might give up. I'm afraid of going back to where I was. I step on the scale after a week like this (and I know it's mostly water weight so I don't even record it) and I'm up 3 pounds. BUT...I know it's THAT EASY to put it back on. IT'S SCAREY! I HAVE worked hard at this and some days I don't want to (yeah, I'm probably just whining).

Last year I started running. I got up to 5k and this year I ran and "official" 5k and it felt GREAT! Then somewhere I lost my mojo. It was just gone. I guess I didn't have another goal. I want to get faster, because I'm really slow but...I just don't know. The pounds have been coming off with food alone. I was doing some RockBody, Nike Training Club, small weights and running on top of that so I think I just got burnt out. My treadmill will be back in commission in about a month (we had a sewer back-up this summer and our basement reconstruct should be finished within a month) so I can get back at that, but like I said, I've been doing well with the food.

Eleanorjanethinner did touch on something there. When I started this journey, I had a lot of thoughts like "when I'm thinner I'll feel ______" or "I'll be able to _______". Really, I'm the same person, scared of the same things, with all the same feelings and the same thoughts. My body doesn't look how I want it to look or how I thought it would look when I lost weight and maybe that's why I think I have a lot to go. Like I said the last time I weighed this was 17 years ago, before I had kids. I never thought having kids changed my body, I thought it was because I got fat. I know, HA..HA..HA. STUPID. We have five kids and it HAS changed my body. It's disappointing. This is maybe something I will just have to accept. But as someone others said, it doesn't really help to obsess. I know, it probably makes things worse. Which brings back the idea that maybe volunteering or something like that would be a good idea. (I sit here shaking my head that I hadn't thought of that myself, my mom is a co-ordinator for volunteers in our health district and I've signed some of my kids up to volunteer).

I guess I just want to push through to see what I'm capable of, but I wish I'd stop sabotaging myself.

So here's some small goals: eat cleaner today + stay within calories ~ I have written and re-written goals here for the last 3 minutes. I think I'll just stick with those two. I always get my water in. Maybe I can work the running or even walking in sometime soon. I guess I could make that a goal for November. I'm in for the 5lb November Challenge!

Thanks everyone.

kmbrooks15

I think all of us carry a certain amount of emotional baggage connected to our weight. Often, we think just losing the weight will solve it all, and many times it doesn't. I'm still kind of in the early stages of losing, and I'm sure some of this will be an issue for me eventually, too. I appreciate your willingness to share your struggles; it will help me to be prepared if/when it happens to me. That's what I love about this site; we can all share our struggles and our victories, and it makes you feel like you aren't alone in the process.