Food and Shame=the food police!

merzback

I just posted this on my blog but wanted to share it-

Food and shame...The food police.... (Edit post)
Posted on 11/03/2011 by merzback

Around 10 years ago, I was at work and my supervisor was giving out donuts. At the time, I was pretty big, bigger than I am now. One of my co workers- who was about 60 at the time, I guess thought she was being "helpful" and said to me

ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT..YOU DON'T NEED A DOUGHNUT!!!

WHAT????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, I said to her "Name ONE person who NEEDS a doughnut and I will put it down." and that quieted her to the point that she apologized to me. Maybe I did get a bit snarky with her- but I am very strong willed and if you tell me NOT to eat something, then I want to have FIVE of them! LOL

I truely believe people do that because in their own minds they do not feel they should be eating it- so if they see someone even bigger, they are judgmental. It's their OWN insecurity coming out, and maybe jealousy because they feel they can never, ever, God forbid have a piece of candy. Do I really care about other's judgment? Maybe when I was 15, but not at 42

Do not allow ANYONE to attempt to shame you, or the reverse, telling you that you DESERVE a TREAT because you're already "Too thin"

Even if you are fit and thin or bla bla bla- it'spossible that you're a diabetic or that you just don't want to put that junk in your body. I would never say to someone "You can have that (Fill in the blank junk food) because you already look good." or "one won't hurt you" because that may be like telling an alcoholic- "One won't hurt you." When I was at my lowest weight, I heard that a lot "Oh come on, Mer, you've eaten so healthy, surely ONE candy bar won't hurt you."

Most of the people I know who are very fit are that way because they stay away from that junk and work out often. Very few people, with the exception of the cousins on my dad's side (and I love them so I can't be jealous, LOL) just have a crazy fast metabolism. And, even if they do, how is a doughnut going to benefit their day for more than 1 minute?

SO my point is, do not listen to the food police- on occasion, nothing wrong with enjoying a doughnut... the problem I get into is when an occasion becomes often.... and if people try to sabotage your efforts, even good willing because they truly don't know any better, just thank them and move on and never, ever tell people what they should and shouldnt be eating, unless they ask you and you know the true deal on nutrition, even if you have the best of intentions, most people get resentful if you food police them.

Sidesteal

Around 10 years ago, I was at work and my supervisor was giving out donuts. At the time, I was pretty big, bigger than I am now. One of my co workers- who was about 60 at the time, I guess thought she was being "helpful" and said to me

ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT..YOU DON'T NEED A DOUGHNUT!!!

WHAT????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It baffles me how rude people can be. That lady is lucky she didn't get punched in the face.

TavistockToad

I just posted this on my blog but wanted to share it-

Food and shame...The food police.... (Edit post)
Posted on 11/03/2011 by merzback

Around 10 years ago, I was at work and my supervisor was giving out donuts. At the time, I was pretty big, bigger than I am now. One of my co workers- who was about 60 at the time, I guess thought she was being "helpful" and said to me

ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT..YOU DON'T NEED A DOUGHNUT!!!

WHAT????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, I said to her "Name ONE person who NEEDS a doughnut and I will put it down." and that quieted her to the point that she apologized to me.

I think that's a great response! You were a lot more polite than a lot of people would be!

ayummymommy01

First of all, I said to her "Name ONE person who NEEDS a doughnut and I will put it down." and that quieted her to the point that she apologized to me.

GREAT ANSWER!!

Juliebean_1027

Around 10 years ago, I was at work and my supervisor was giving out donuts. At the time, I was pretty big, bigger than I am now. One of my co workers- who was about 60 at the time, I guess thought she was being "helpful" and said to me

ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT..YOU DON'T NEED A DOUGHNUT!!!

WHAT????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It baffles me how rude people can be. That lady is lucky she didn't get punched in the face.

^^^ This. Seriously. Some people can be so rude. Like you said, no one NEEDS a doughnut.

scagneti

I had the reverse happen to me, and it's just as embarassing.

I was at a school yard sale fundraiser last week and wanted to buy something, but didn't really need anything. I found in a box of books the DVD box set of Leslie Sansome's 5 walking dvds. I had used her program before, umm, not particularly legally and figured I might as well buy this set (never used and came with a stretching band). The girl who I was going to pay for it looked at me and then at the DVD and said "You know you don't need this, right?" I was stunned. I think she caught the look of horror on my face and said "Don't get me wrong, I want to make the sale, but you're way too thin to be using a workout dvd".

WHAA? :huh:

I asked her how she thinks I got thin and that everyone should work out with something they enjoy. They had a bunch of yoga & pilates DVDs too, but I was too embarrassed to even look at them after that.

Could you imagine if I wanted to buy it when I was larger and she said "OH THANK GOD, because you totally need this!!".

People are odd, and weight seems to be the last thing people can openly comment on. Hopefully they stop feeling that comfortable about it.

chrissym78

great post!!!

CarolineBooth

That was ever so rude but what a good reply I never understand why people say such things. Food is not purely functional but to be enjoyed even whilst trying to lose weight - occasionally a doughnut may just be the item that stops an entire food binge, or an item that you've saved calories especially for, or the extra hour or so in the gym.

End of the day what is the point of having good health if you cannot live and enjoy living.

jeepwidow01

Thanks for this great post! We can't judge others because we don't know their situations. There are people who just lack tact. When I was pregnant, it was so hurtful when people, jokingly, would ask "Are you sure there aren't twins or triplets in there??". I don't care if you are joking or not, you just don't say things like that to women when they are pregnant, just like you don't say something to a woman about being pregnant unless she offers it up first.

merzback

LOL you can't punch out people you work with , especially in a social service agency- she was older and I know that getting super angry or defensive does not help your case- what helps is a smart come back where the person who says it feels like a total @ss! Trust me, she felt HORRIBLE and was apologizing for it for 5 minutes. If I would have cowered down- which many women would have done- that would have been a shame.

I have a friend who is a body builder , fitness person, who was in dunkin donuts getting just coffee on free donut day. She was told she should take the donut because she "needs it" or something like that... Some people think that people in great shape were born that way- VERY VERY few are born like that. MOST have to work at it daily.

People are odd- When I was a teen, and maybe 5'6 and 190lbs, a waitress told me , after I ordered a burger and fries that I shouldn't get it because it was "Fattening." That was in my not as assertive days but if a waitress said that to me now I'd call over the manager.

I do think most people's comments about food is due to their own issues with food- but they should not guilt other people into their issues.

merzback

If people say something rude to me now I just look at them in a disapproving way and say
WOW!!! REALLY?????
Stand up to all bullies!

shovav91

It shocks me that people have the audacity to be that openly rude. Honestly; is it their job to decide what a person puts into their body? What gives them that right? I would have cried, probably, so I truly admire the way you handled that situation. Props to you for putting that person back in their place!

Sidesteal

Some people think that people in great shape were born that way-

^ This is also irritating as hell.

ljbhill

I had the reverse happen to me, and it's just as embarassing.

I was at a school yard sale fundraiser last week and wanted to buy something, but didn't really need anything. I found in a box of books the DVD box set of Leslie Sansome's 5 walking dvds. I had used her program before, umm, not particularly legally and figured I might as well buy this set (never used and came with a stretching band). The girl who I was going to pay for it looked at me and then at the DVD and said "You know you don't need this, right?" I was stunned. I think she caught the look of horror on my face and said "Don't get me wrong, I want to make the sale, but you're way too thin to be using a workout dvd".

WHAA? :huh:

I asked her how she thinks I got thin and that everyone should work out with something they enjoy. They had a bunch of yoga & pilates DVDs too, but I was too embarrassed to even look at them after that.

Could you imagine if I wanted to buy it when I was larger and she said "OH THANK GOD, because you totally need this!!".

People are odd, and weight seems to be the last thing people can openly comment on. Hopefully they stop feeling that comfortable about it.

Agh that is so annoying. I was much larger last year and only through hard work and dedication have I come so far. I get comments like that ALL the time. Some from friends... CONSTANTLY! "Go on have one, it won't kill you" (and if you have one)... "have another", "You getting salad again?", "You still trying to eat healthy? When are you going to stop this crazy diet?" (didn't know eating healthy was a crazy diet!) and if I'm at a BBQ and stuffed myself and say I shouldnt have dessert they say "you need it, have it"

It's so annoying. Why can't people just keep their comments to themselves about what you eat. I feel more uncomortable going out to eat now then I ever did when I was bigger. The crazy thing is my friends have always been slim!

tiedye

I also can't stand when people comment when I turn something down!!! Like ljbhill said, I had when people look at me and say, "why are YOU on a diet?!" I want to say, I'm not on a diet, I eat within my limits, maybe you should try it.

sjohnny

Like you said, no one NEEDS a doughnut.

I do.



I didn't until you mentioned it but now I need one.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

merzback

Like you said, no one NEEDS a doughnut.

I do.



I didn't until you mentioned it but now I need one.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

hahahah