Pssst! Your insecurities are showing...

Shanna_Inc86

I take some small comfort that I'm not nuts...thank you for posting

It's already been stated but there are some great numbers I'm seeing...doing a wonderful job.

And yes men do this too...I had an ex that was more insecure about his stomach than I am about mine hah

Shanna_Inc86

Before I saw a very overweight and unhealthy woman. Now I see saggy skin, saggy breasts, floppy butt....the list can go on and on.

I think about getting plastic surgery...lift the boobs and plump them back up, tummy tuck (after 3 kiddos my belly is a mess). Then I wonder if I would be happy with that...or would I find more that needed to be "fixed".

Then I remember the muscle that I have gained and how I know have calf muscles. I look at the pic of my back and I am excited to see the progress. My husband constantly tells me that I am beautiful, so I strive to see myself the way that he does. It's a step by step thing....

It most likely also didn't' help that my dad would always "joke" about my weight. And his jokes were on the line of "Whoa...you need to do some sit ups and put on a shirt!! *laugh laugh*" (I was wearing a bikini on the beach...thanks a lot dad!!)

OH THE BOOBS AND STOMACH....
I'm more insecure about those than I ever was before!
Seriously terrified to become intimate with a guy
And my dad use to make those comments as well...or "oh, you're eating AGAIN" well YEA I'm on pms and I want some effing chocolate...I have serious issues with eating in front of ppl I don't know or I'm not comfortable with

I would also like to say, I would not guess you at 163...figured at least 20lbs lighter than that. You look great

All of you ladies are doing so good!!

em1976

Im down to my last 2 to 3 kgs after quite a few years work.I look in the mirror and I see the same areas...saddlebags,muffin tops:)To me,I see the exact same issues I had when I was fatter.I overlook the arms,no double chin,the overall width Ive lost and I cannot seem to get past the BITS.Is very strange and now Im at the point where Im deadset determined to get rid of them.

I figure If i only look in my bathroom mirror (which is chest up)I wont go bonkers,lol.Even though Im healthy and relatively happy I still pick the crap out of my figure and wonder if one day I will be content with where I am.*shrug*.

Ps.In regards to plastic surgery,well in my case what was once a large chest is now almost gone(literally).I have issues with it and will probably turn toward help later on down the track.Having said that,I feel if there is something we genuinely do not like about our bodies,something we are incapable of changing via weight loss or other non surgical methods then im of the opinion go for it.Just my thoughts on that:)

Shanna_Inc86

I'm not a woman, but you just gave me a whole new thing to fear. I think our weight problems are often more of a symptom of other issues rather than just a cause. Maybe they all get unwrapped in the order we adopt them. As you get closer, you've to go back and address some things that have gotten covered up along the way. Good luck with that.

Well you say this is for the girls. I do the same thing. I always want more. I hate it....

Thanks for posting guys...Yes, men are much better at hiding it!
I will say i don't talk about what I don't like or what I'm insecure about except on here and to my sister.
Recently I have spoken up to a couple friends of mine that had NO CLUE I was so insecure about certain things

Shanna_Inc86

i hide mine well...get to know me and you'll realize i'm a freekin basket case.

eh-hem....separated at birth like we discussed :laugh:

I think you look amazing for what it's worth

BecksgotBack

i hide mine well...get to know me and you'll realize i'm a freekin basket case.

eh-hem....separated at birth like we discussed :laugh:

I think you look amazing for what it's worth

thanks hunny. we can sit and eat effin chocolate cake together when we're pms'ing

drog2323

it's kinda like when us men get a cold....and we think we act like we are on our death bed....being huge babies. women have a cold, you don't hear much complaining.

some things just cannot be explained.

Shanna_Inc86

it's kinda like when us men get a cold....and we think we act like we are on our death bed....being huge babies. women have a cold, you don't hear much complaining.

some things just cannot be explained.

:laugh:
It's funny b/c its true

Shanna_Inc86

i hide mine well...get to know me and you'll realize i'm a freekin basket case.

eh-hem....separated at birth like we discussed :laugh:

I think you look amazing for what it's worth

thanks hunny. we can sit and eat effin chocolate cake together when we're pms'ing

I'm obsessed with Chocolate brownies :ohwell:

myofibril

I recommend reading a book called "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz to anyone who is dealing with these types of issue. Even though it is over 50 years old it is an amazing piece of work on this subject of self image. Essentially, Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who noticed a curious phemenon in some of his patients: they were no happier after the surgery he provided, sometimes even after scars or malformations were removed and still felt "ugly" or unchanged.

This lead him to explore the reasons why and how self image guides or behaviour and goals. He outlines the use of affirmations, visualisation techniques, objectivity and rationality amongst other things to change a negative self image to a positive one. This coupled with things like self hypnosis, anchoring, NLP to help with improving the way you view yourself.

Sometimes just as you take conscious steps to improve your body so must you take steps to improve your self image. The two don't always go hand in hand and you have to manually "reset" the faulty image that you have previously chained to yourself and no longer need.

So much of life is just perception. Make it work for you.

0001900

I'm by no means lacking in insecurities, but I sometimes wonder if growing up in China and with a Chinese family had something to do with the fact that I'm a little more easy-going about my body than most women I know. To clarify, when I was in China (20 years ago), a naked female body was no big deal since many people could only bathe in public bath houses. I would venture to say that I probably saw more naked women in my first 4 years of life than most men I know haha. When I came to America, I tried to get a little more puritan due to peer pressure and tried to do things like change in bathroom stalls for modesty, but my mom was always getting impatient with all the fuss and she'd always say, "What's the big deal? We're all women here so hurry up and get dressed!" Similarly, many Asian families at the time didn't see an issue if the girls swam in just their panties if they hadn't gotten around to buying swimsuits yet. Of course, this is all different now. I don't think China is as liberal about nudity as it once was and my much younger sister is definitely more obsessed about 'covering up' all the time (now I'M the one yelling about how it's not a big deal since we're both women!).

But I'm definitely glad that I got the chance to grow up in an environment that wasn't too touchy about nudity. Even when I was 20 pounds heavier, I never had a problem with being seen naked. In fact, I was surprised when my current boyfriend told me that he'd never met a woman as comfortable with being seen naked as I was (he had only been with American women before). Interestingly, I was reading a book about French women that said something very similar--French women tend to be comfortable with being naked (and being seen naked) than American women. Of course, these are just generalizations (I've lived with a few American girls who were okay with being seen naked--once even roomed with one who showed up in just her panties the day after I moved in), but I think there's certainly a trend of being more self-conscious about the naked appearance in America than in, say, Europe or Japan (lots of nudity there...the communal bathhouses continue to exist there). All in all, I wonder if there's something about American culture that promotes a fear of physical scrutiny?

drog2323

it's kinda like when us men get a cold....and we think we act like we are on our death bed....being huge babies. women have a cold, you don't hear much complaining.

some things just cannot be explained.

:laugh:
It's funny b/c its true

have you seen the Nyquil commercial?....classic!

Ephena

People keep telling me to stop losing weight or I will disappear. It's really annoying to hear especially when I know I'm not that small.

I get that too, or when I get dirty looks for saying that I'm still fat. I didn't say it looking for compliments and I'm not putting myself down. I am still overweight, therefore I am fat. And I don't want to lose my mindset that has allowed to get this far. It's amazing what head games we put ourselves through, maybe I should make that my new goal: get my head screwed on straight.....