What to do when your spouse eats less than you (What's that

kristelpoole

When I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 150 lb and he was 185 lb (at 6ft tall). We were both chubby, but in a cute way. Well, I don't eat meat and he does, but guess who cooks more. Anyway, after 6 months, I gained almost 10 lbs and he lost 20. (Life isn't fair.)

Anyway, thanks to a recommendation I got on MFP, I looked up his RMR, BMR, TDEE, etc and explained it all to him. He was SO SHOCKED when he realized how few calories he was eating (thanks to MFP, I can eyeball the calories in our meals now...and the tacos he was having were only around 350 and that was his entire dinner - haha). He realized that second that he was still hungry after his workout and wee baby taco dinner, so I made him a plate full of delicious, healthy, calorie dense food and he ate the entire thing. Haha.

Bless his heart, he ate a lot of good food today and may have even met his BMR goal (don't worry, I'll make him dinner tonight), but more importantly, thank you guys for the references so I could share. Hopefully, he will put on some muscle now and quit losing a pound a week, because I'm going to kill him if stays skinnier than me.

taso42

He's lucky to have you looking out for him :drinker:

TheBraveryLover

Wait, I'm confused. Does he want to gain weight or maintain or is he happy with his weight loss?

kristelpoole

Wait, I'm confused. Does he want to gain weight or maintain or is he happy with his weight loss?

He's happy with it... sort of. He is very, very skinny now, which I like, but he also doesn't have a lot of muscle. He's not eating enough and if he keeps losing, he'll be skinny fat. I'm encouraging him to go to the gym and strength train since he wants to build a little muscle, but he's not going to if he's only eating 1000 calories a day and his DTEE is 2000+.

TheBraveryLover

Wait, I'm confused. Does he want to gain weight or maintain or is he happy with his weight loss?

He's happy with it... sort of. He is very, very skinny now, which I like, but he also doesn't have a lot of muscle. He's not eating enough and if he keeps losing, he'll be skinny fat. I'm encouraging him to go to the gym and strength train since he wants to build a little muscle, but he's not going to if he's only eating 1000 calories a day and his DTEE is 2000+.

Well you sound like a great girlfriend! And yes, this site and another has taught me sooo much about BMR, TDEE, etc. It really is amazing all of the misconceptions one has before changing their health for the better. I happen to mainly do this for aesthetic reasons (sue me ;-)) but the information on health/fitness benefits are certainly a plus.

I_give_it_2_u_str8

So recap:
You couldn't lose weight so you thought a good alternative was to make your boyfriend fatter than you?

TheBraveryLover

So recap:
You couldn't lose weight so you thought a good alternative was to make your boyfriend fatter than you?

That's what I originally thought, but if you see her follow up post, that's not what she was trying to do. She's just trying to teach him about ways to increase his muscle (which is something he wants but isn't educated on how to go about it).

I_give_it_2_u_str8

Oh I see.
As long as he's lifting weights.. Eating alone doesn't get you more muscle

kristelpoole

Oh I see.
As long as he's lifting weights.. Eating alone doesn't get you more muscle

Duh. Give me some credit here.

And also, I never said I couldn't lose weight. I've lost 6 pounds since 10/9 so I think I've actually been pretty successful.

Anyway, I've been motivating him to strength train and eat more by setting an example and educating him on the science of it. I love him, so naturally, I want him to be healthy and happy.