Partner Doesn't Eat The Same

Options
Dexy_
Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
in Food and Nutrition
My partner doesn't need to lose weight, so I have to cook 2 different dinners every night. Even if he'll eat some of what I'm eating, they'll always be something he wants with it that I don't want. For instance I switched to brown rice but he refuses and still has white (I hate the taste of brown rice but it's so much better for me).

He'll also pig out on ice creams and chocolate ect right in front of me.

I'm just wondering how other people handle watching someone eat what you want to eat ALL THE TIME?!
«13

Replies

  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Options
    You are not a short-order cook. If it's stressing you out and you're the one doing all of the cooking, tell him he can eat what you make, or fix something for himself.

    As for the eating junk in front of you - maybe he doesn't realize that it makes it difficult for you? Try talking to him and just telling him that his support would help make this an easier journey for you, and you'd appreciate it if he could eat his chocolate/cake/ice cream out of sight from you.
  • Leanne926
    Leanne926 Posts: 158 Member
    Options
    I WISH I HAD A GOOD ANSWER FOR YOU BUT I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION.. I DON'T SO MUCH WANT WHAT HE IS EATING ANYMORE AS I AM JUST TIRED OF MAKING 2 MEALS.
    GOOD LUCK :)
  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
    Options
    Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

    He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.
  • elbandito
    elbandito Posts: 157
    Options
    Oooh, I hear you there. I have to turn down ice cream... cake... sweet stuff pretty much ALL the time.

    But in all honesty; perhaps it's not so much WHAT you eat, but how much of that stuff you eat. Have /some/ white rice. Not as much as you'd normally have. Control the amount on your plate. You get the yum factor, but not the bloat factor.

    I had a very similar question of my personal trainer once when I asked about cheese omlettes. I said 'I'll cut the cheese out' and he asked 'what would that do?'. I thought about it and said 'I'll get cheese cravings'. So he suggested 'Keep the cheese in the omlette, then you won't binge later'. Which I thought was a fair call on his side.
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    Options
    agree with daffodilsoup.

    Also, you don't have to eat brown rice if you don't want to. The difference between it and white is mainly the fibre. GI is not to be worried about unless you're diabetic.
  • elbandito
    elbandito Posts: 157
    Options
    That said; I often cook two meals. One for the family, and an omlette (which is super quick and easy) for me.
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    Options
    I guess you just get use to it. I did manage to change a bit of my family diet overall, but generally what I end up is switch/alter my side to veggies only. For example I bake chicken legs in the oven, and I make mashed potato for my hubby and my child. I also steam veggies in the steamer bag and while they get some veggies , I only get the veggies and no mashed potato.

    We also have the some fight over brown/ white rice. The difference is that i actually like brown rice, plus is better for us. My solution is that some dishes where the rice buried into the dish, I make brown rice, and usually they do not notice ;) If the rice is really a sidedish and very apparent on the plate , I make white rice.

    I keep both white and whole wheat bread at home, and my hubby gets the white, I get the whole wheat, and I try to get the whole wheat to the kid, but sometimes he ask for what daddy is eating. Oh well.

    The ice-cream, dessert, chocolate eating in front of me is part of life and I just live with it.
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    Options
    Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

    He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.

    sounds like a ****. Tell him to cook his own food & ditch him!
  • gp79
    gp79 Posts: 1,799 Member
    Options
    If compromising isn't an option, then maybe he needs to go through a little tuff love where he cooks his own food. Sounds like a turd that needs to be flushed.
  • Jedibeau
    Jedibeau Posts: 38
    Options
    As far as rice goes, why not try finding some enriched white rice....all the healthy parts of brown rice without the same taste!

    And yeah...he sounds like a jerk to me. What you described is emotionally abusive behavior and you shouldn't put up with that. Just my opinion...
  • AmythistRae
    AmythistRae Posts: 107
    Options
    Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

    He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.

    sounds like a ****. Tell him to cook his own food & ditch him!

    totally agree.....it sounds like it has nothing to do with food but with the lack of emotional support or giving a crap in the marriage..he may be find with you but you deserve to be who you want to be..
  • Shannonigans84
    Shannonigans84 Posts: 693 Member
    Options
    My boyfriend eats the exact opposite as me. Often times right next to me. He knows it's unhealthy, but he doesn't have a weight problem so diet is low on his priority list. I did join him last winter for a few months, and gained 10lbs. Now I've learned to tune it out because I know I'll gain 10lbs if I give in.

    ETA: Although we eat differently, my boyfriend is very encouraging and tells me constantly how proud he is of what I've accomplished and loves my will power. You need that support to succeed..I hope you start getting it.
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
    Options
    It appears he is an insensitive jerk! I agree he can cook his own meals. It sounds like a bigger problem. If he regularly treats you with this type of disrespect and insensitivity you might reconsider the entire relationship. This is a character flaw.
  • fromaquasar
    fromaquasar Posts: 811 Member
    Options
    Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

    He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.

    sounds like a ****. Tell him to cook his own food & ditch him!

    totally agree.....it sounds like it has nothing to do with food but with the lack of emotional support or giving a crap in the marriage..he may be find with you but you deserve to be who you want to be..

    I'm agreeing with this! Your partners job is to support you, you are supposed to be a team! Kick him to the curb and move on up!
  • samb
    samb Posts: 464 Member
    Options
    I used to be a vegetarian and had to cook 2 different meals...now I just make one and sometimes have alternatives....I have to eat gluten free so usually I will use the products that are gluten free and no one notices but sometimes I will give them the regular stuff and cook mine separately. Much easier than cooking the whole meals separate though. I agree with some of the above posters.... if he doesn't like it then he should at least make his own or should be helping you... But regarding how I handle people eating crap in front of me... my goals and well being are more important to me. I think about how it would make me feel if I ate that stuff and it makes me say away from it. I also try to keep tasty alternatives with me so I don't give in to it. I do have free days/meals once in a while too though that help to satisfy the cravings without destroying my efforts. Oh and to me its just not worth it to ruin all of the time and effort I have put in to get to where I am at that time!! As they say.... "a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips" & "Do not give up what you want most for what you want at the moment. " & "keep your eyes on the prize!"
  • DesertSunsetRain
    DesertSunsetRain Posts: 194
    Options
    You are not a short-order cook. If it's stressing you out and you're the one doing all of the cooking, tell him he can eat what you make, or fix something for himself.

    Yes, yes, yes. Point him in the direction of the kitchen if he doesn't like what you're cooking.

    Didn't read the other replies before I posted. He sounds like a jerk. Definitely kick him to the curb.
  • it_be_asin
    it_be_asin Posts: 562 Member
    Options
    You are not a short-order cook. If it's stressing you out and you're the one doing all of the cooking, tell him he can eat what you make, or fix something for himself.

    As for the eating junk in front of you - maybe he doesn't realize that it makes it difficult for you? Try talking to him and just telling him that his support would help make this an easier journey for you, and you'd appreciate it if he could eat his chocolate/cake/ice cream out of sight from you.

    Yup. In my family, the rule is 'there are two courses - take it or leave it'.
  • auctoritas
    auctoritas Posts: 204
    Options
    When I went on my diet, I told my boyfriend he was joining me, and that was the end of that. I'll cook sausage for breakfast for him, or add green peppers to his portion of the meal, but other than that we eat the same things. He complains now and again but he's looking a lot better now.

    Jerks who sabotage your diet obviously do not love or respect you and should get kicked to the curb.
  • santini1975
    santini1975 Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    Heck yeah I know what u mean! My fiance has to fight to keep weight ON! He can lose 5 pounds by skipping lunch. He makes himself a milkshake every night with whole milk and chocolate syrup just to keep the calories UP! I wanna choke him sometimes. As far as cooking seperate meals, no way. I've been doing nutrisystem or lean cuisines since january, so there's always a similar meal to what I cook him and the kids in my arsenal. Plus with the MFP phone app, I can just scan the bar code on the box to enter the nutritional info into my food diary.
  • Usbornegal
    Usbornegal Posts: 601 Member
    Options
    Sounds like there are multiple levels of things going on here. He might be afraid of your changing and be trying to sabotage it. If this relationship is worth it, find a counselor for you both to go to. If he won't go, don't let that stop you - you'll get the support you need from inside yourself once your counselor helps you find out why you let yourself be treated this way and how to stop it.

Categories