Why is it so hard?!

april522

I started my weight loss journey in November 2009, 2 years ago. I was SUPER motivated and devoted. I went from my then heaviest at 182 lbs to 151 lbs sometime over this summer. I fell off the wagon a couple times here and there, but I was able to move past it within a month or two.

Ever since last October when I split with my boyfriend of almost 7 years, I have had so much trouble watching what I eat! I managed to focus this past summer, and with the help of 3 months of training, I got down to 151 at one point, but then I gained it again. I'm back up to 159.6, and it's disheartening that my size 8 jeans (stretchy jeans) are getting to the point of too tight for comfort, so I find myself going to my leggings more often now.

I have this mindset now of "why should I deny myself a piece of cake (or whatever it might be) every now and then" - and that would be fine if I ate it just like once or twice a month, but I don't. I eat candy and sweets whenever the mood strikes, and now that the boyfriend and I are back together and living together again, I'm cooking. But, I've lost my motivation to really search for healthier dinner meals. I just don't know why I am like this this time around. It's not like me.

I have signed up for another 3 months of personal training, and I am trying to get back into the mindset of eating food because I NEED it, not just because it tastes good. I also need to make the gym a HABIT again. The first 6 months I joined in Nov 2009, I was going 5 days a week. I did go 4 times last week but only twice this week. I miss the fitness level I'd reached with step aerobics and zumba. As of the past few weeks I've been trying to get back to 5 days a week, those 2 classes are REALLY kicking my butt, and that's disheartening too. It's amazing how quickly our bodies forget.

mrmarius

its hard both ways, its just that the way our lives have been developed usually put us on a course to gain weight, but its still a process and you just have to take it step by step.. and yes from time to time indulge so that you dont feel deprived. main thing is stay connected to the like minded people you have here. I find that s long as i have this thing in my face i dont quit. over the years ive lost a few lbs only to gain more back but since i've been here i havent had that problem i mean yea i've plateaued and gained some but i havent quit and wont quit.

Hanna82

nothing good ever comes easy.

Shakila87

It is very hard especially since you don't have a lot of weight to lose. The smaller you are ,or the less amount of weight you have to lose it becomes very difficult. I suggest you and your boyfriend work out together weight loss in pairs provides support and some copetition. Find things you are really interested in. I do water aerobics and zumba. I also like kickboxing. Any activity to keep you moving atleast 60 minutes a day. Do not deprive yourself, indugle once a week in your favorite food. Deprivation = ruin, if you deprive yourself all the time you will end up binge eating (which is worse). Remember one day at a time one step at a time. If you mess up, start over. Write your goals down, put them on the fridge, so everytime you go to open it you will think I need some healthy that will enable me to achieve my goal. You can do it!! Take care!!

coloradocuppiecake

Well first of all the blow of your split would cause some depression and we all know that takes away motivation.
Now that you are back together, Im sure you want to spend more time with him than in the gym. Dont worry, you
will get back on track. Make little changes every day. Good luck! Hugs!

daffodilsoup

...that's what she said.

Metsfn4life

It's hard to keep motivated. In all actuality, if it was for my MFP family, I would have given up months ago when the scale wasn't moving for 3 weeks straight, yet I was meeting my calorie goals and working out 5 times a week.

Support and encouragement help a lot. Is there any way your boyfriend can join you in your journey to a healthier lifestyle? Or perhaps a friend?

You can also create rewards for yourself. Do you have an eye on a dress or the latest gadget? Tell youself that you will splurge on something nice for you once those size 8 jeans fit perfectly again :-)

Eating sweets everyday is a no-no. Everyone knows that. But, you can't deprive yourself. On Halloween, I literally sat down with my daughters bucket and ate a ton of candy. I haven't done that in a while, so I didn't feel guilty or trip out over it. Also, my family has so many kids, that every month there is a birthday party to go to...I look forward to having a yummy piece of cake every month. No need to buy it :-)

Look deep inside yourself. Think of how important these things are for you and start getting into a routine. Clean your home of all the temptations for a while...your boyfriend should understand and support you. Once you stop having sweets for a couple of weeks, the cravings go down, and you can then maybe introduce them into your cupboards.

Debbe2

I think you're doing great! This is a process and you are trying and succeeding. Keep it up and I bet you will be back to exercising more days and taking off the additional weight. Just keep your focus... :flowerforyou:

WifeMomDVM

April,

The fact that you've been doing this for 2 years says alot about you! KUDOS to you for all of your hard work! Yes, losing weight (and even maintaining) take lots of hard work. Take some time to remember what motivates you. Is it the idea of living a long time? Being active in your golden years? Do you want to feel better? Just look like a hottie?

Whatever your motivations, write them down. Put them on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself why you're working so hard at all of this.

Also, set some realistic goals for yourself. Like, I want my size 8 pants to fit comfortably by Thanksgiving. Or, I'd like to be a size 6 by New Year's.... or whatever.

Cross off your goals as you meet them - it just makes it more tangible and more real somehow and is very motivating when you can SEE you've met your goals.

Lastly, one day at a time.... you WILL get there! You were my first friend I added on MFP, almost a year ago and I'm so glad I found you! You've got this!

april522

It is very hard especially since you don't have a lot of weight to lose. The smaller you are ,or the less amount of weight you have to lose it becomes very difficult. I suggest you and your boyfriend work out together weight loss in pairs provides support and some copetition. Find things you are really interested in. I do water aerobics and zumba. I also like kickboxing. Any activity to keep you moving atleast 60 minutes a day. Do not deprive yourself, indugle once a week in your favorite food. Deprivation = ruin, if you deprive yourself all the time you will end up binge eating (which is worse). Remember one day at a time one step at a time. If you mess up, start over. Write your goals down, put them on the fridge, so everytime you go to open it you will think I need some healthy that will enable me to achieve my goal. You can do it!! Take care!!

I would be thrilled if we both worked out together. I've asked him because we both need to loose weight (and he's said as much too). But, it's just not going to happen with him. I don't know what to do to actually motivate him to get some exercise, even if it's just walking somewhere.

Well first of all the blow of your split would cause some depression and we all know that takes away motivation.
Now that you are back together, Im sure you want to spend more time with him than in the gym. Dont worry, you
will get back on track. Make little changes every day. Good luck! Hugs!

That's what I'm doing right now - little changes. We've cut back drastically on the eating out (bad bad for you), so now I'm working on getting back to the gym 4-5 days a week. Thanks for the words of encouragment. I just need to refocus!

Look deep inside yourself. Think of how important these things are for you and start getting into a routine. Clean your home of all the temptations for a while...your boyfriend should understand and support you. Once you stop having sweets for a couple of weeks, the cravings go down, and you can then maybe introduce them into your cupboards.

I think I need to do that. We have quite a few bags of candy laying around, and I need to just get rid of them! It's the snack size mini candies that were intended to be a one-piece treat here or there, to satisfy a sweet tooth without overdoing it - but I usally don't stop at one piece. I've done this before. I just need to find my will and motivation to do it again. It's amazing how I can go from nutritional nut a year or 2 ago to what I am today (not caring... well, caring afterwards, but not when eating it).

April,

The fact that you've been doing this for 2 years says alot about you! KUDOS to you for all of your hard work! Yes, losing weight (and even maintaining) take lots of hard work. Take some time to remember what motivates you. Is it the idea of living a long time? Being active in your golden years? Do you want to feel better? Just look like a hottie?

Whatever your motivations, write them down. Put them on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself why you're working so hard at all of this.

Also, set some realistic goals for yourself. Like, I want my size 8 pants to fit comfortably by Thanksgiving. Or, I'd like to be a size 6 by New Year's.... or whatever.

Cross off your goals as you meet them - it just makes it more tangible and more real somehow and is very motivating when you can SEE you've met your goals.

Lastly, one day at a time.... you WILL get there! You were my first friend I added on MFP, almost a year ago and I'm so glad I found you! You've got this!

I think I might just do that. It gives me some type of direction to really focus on! I am going to really sit down this weekend, get my goals listed out (weight loss and other things in life since everything's kind of chaotic right now), and regroup as on Monday! Since it's just starting November, I'll think of it as a clean slate! And I'm glad you added me as a friend also WifeMomDVM.

I've noticed when I'm more active on MFP, I tend to do a little better, just knowing someone might take a peak at my food diary (when I finally start tracking what I'm eating - Monday!). It's also motivating to check out the progress and success stories on here. It's amazing! Thanks for the little emotional support in this thread. It has helped so much! I'm ready to do this!