Another Backhanded NSV

ReginasHorror

I know we’ve seen this a thousand times on here- but it happened to me and I had to share this.
As I was walking back from the break room (after refusing an unhealthy breakfast of bacon and French toast provided by the drug reps) I was stopped by one of the nurses. “Oh, Stephanie, you’re losing some weight aren’t you?”
“We’ll I’ve only lost a few pounds. But yeah, I’m working on it.” Directly after she said this another nurse walked by and said, ‘If you get any skinnier you’ll blow away.” The concept of her saying this to me was hilarious and I laughed. I weigh 175+ pounds at 5.3! The only thing that’s going to blow me away would be a hurricane! I know her statement was ludicrous but it’s still a little insulting!

sunnyrunner23

jerks!

mndamon

Kick the **** out of them and take their lunch money, then you can buy healthy food for breakfast. Wait, that wasn't the problem?

Seriously, don't let it get to you. She may have meant it in a totally innocent way. We construe what people say in our own way, it's possible it wasn't meant to be backhanded.

mgmlap

its the concept of you making them feel bad for their food choices..cause they know subconciously..they should walk away like you did.

Good for you for having the willpower..so they feel angry at themselves..and you were the target of the animosity..

But who the heck cares..you are doing awesome..keep on pushing!

horndave

yeah, I wouldnt have taken that as being backhanded. It might be she didnt know what to say and made the comment to give a compliment but didnt come out right.

lynn1982

Do you think they meant it as a compliment? My step-mom called me the "incredible shrinking woman" the other night. It has taken me 6 months to lose 35 pounds, so it's hardly incredible, but I know she meant it as a compliment...

Hellbent_Heidi

Seriously...I think people are just trying to be nice, but when they open their mouth, the stupidity comes rushing out!

Someone said to me today "you need to stop or you'll get too skinny", I was like "ummm...ok, whatever". I know I'm not "overweight" anymore, but trust me, I'm also not anywhere close to being "too skinny" !

Anyway...take it as a compliment. These days, I'm learning to just say "yes, I've lost weight...thanks".

BTW...way to go on refusing that bacon/french toast breakfast. That is an NSV by itself!

mallorybriann

Kick the **** out of them and take their lunch money, then you can buy healthy food for breakfast. Wait, that wasn't the problem?

^^ do this.

My1985Freckles

I didn't find that insulting either.

manderson27

Light travels faster than sound
That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak:laugh:

capriciousmoon

I don't know... I'm not thin yet and on very windy days I've come close to being knocked over. You could be closer than you think. :laugh: I'm actually very scared of wind because as a kid I was holding an umbrella on a windy, rainy day and it lifted me off my feet.

ReginasHorror

Kick the **** out of them and take their lunch money, then you can buy healthy food for breakfast. Wait, that wasn't the problem?

Seriously, don't let it get to you. She may have meant it in a totally innocent way. We construe what people say in our own way, it's possible it wasn't meant to be backhanded.

OMG! I laughed out loud when I read this. And Everyone, I understand you may not find it insulting, it may have just been the tone she used.

kristilovescake

It sounds like it could have been a genuine compliment, like telling you that you look like you're not overweight. I've heard people say it before, and it's always meant in a good way like "you don't need to lose weight".

MrsCon40

You can CHOOSE to find it insulting *or* you can choose to think she was just engaging in hyperbole in order to bolster her compliment.

All this cynicism makes me sad.

Qarol

How was this insulting?

killagb

You can CHOOSE to find it insulting *or* you can choose to think she was just engaging in hyperbole in order to bolster her compliment.

All this cynicism makes me sad.

She was clearly jealous of the weight she's lost.

CathiAnne

I wonder if they really are trying to pay you a compliment and just don't know how? My response to that would be a smile and keep walking. You know inside yourself what you're doing and why.

macpatti

Here's a backhanded compliment I got:

Lady I work with: "Patti, you look like you've lost weight".
Me: "Yes, I have. About 25lbs".
Her: "Well, that's a great start".

WTH???? How does she know I wasn't finished???!!!

BigDaddyBRC

I know her statement was ludicrous but it’s still a little insulting!

Since this is in writing, I can't say that wasn't meant as a real compliment. I read it as so. Wasnt there to actually hear if there was any sarcasm is the second nurse's voice...Could be that you miss took how she said it?

personally, I would've said...I hope I do.

koosdel

Bacon and french toast is not unhealthy. I am offended by the suggestion.

You can pm the apology to me, if you choose not to go public.

Jeff92se

i would have stormed off and stole all the bacon

elliemay63

Totally understand your thought process! My mind goes the wrong way when I hear - "Man - you've lost a TON of weight!" :indifferent: My first thought is "was I so big you thought I weighed a ton?" :noway: But my GF says I have a skinny face now and maybe that is what prompts the comment. I have lost about 20 pounds since last Christmas and have toned ALOT. :drinker:
And I agree - good job on passing on the breakfast! Best of luck to you on your journey!!

MinnieInMaine

I was thinking it must have been the tone she used that made it backhanded... On the other hand, I've had some over the top compliments from girls at work that made me thing the same thing - was that really a compliment or is she being a smart *kitten*?
Like "you're so skinny now, if you stand sideways, we'd lose you" or "you're melting away!".

One day, I looked over my shoulder, grabbed a hunk of my rear and said "if I'm so skinny, what the heck is this?". That was probably a bit mean but I couldn't help it! The gushing was just too much... So now I just smile and say "thank you!" and leave it at that. Don't analyze it or sink to the level if they are being backhanded, kill 'em with kindness!

Jorra

That's a very common phrase, I wouldn't take it too seriously.

12in2012

It really depends on the person who said it.

I have some catty co-workers and if they said it to me it'd be the subtle b--chiness behind it. Some women never get out of high-school. The need to cut others down, while pretending to be sweet about it can just be their style.

Don't sweat it. Just Sweat.