Receiving Compliments and Shame

soniams

I recently attended a dinner where I saw a large number of people I had not seen in a long while. All were very complimentary on my new appearance. Hearing their kind words was wonderful and inspirational validation for all my efforts over the past year and a half.

There is a small part of me that also feels shame at having gained so much weight in the first place. I have a slight tinge of embarrassment when receiving such compliments as it was my poor behavior that caused so much weight gain in the first place.

While I am able to accept the compliments and am so pleased that my new lifestyle is welcomed, it does bother me that I let myself reach such an unhealthy weight in the first place.

chickybuns

I know it's hard, but you have to let go of the past. What's important is what you're doing NOW and that you're committed to a healthier lifestyle for the rest of your life. Don't feel bad, enjoy the compliments.

cherbapp

I agree....be proud of what you accomplished! Don't let guilt bring you down, your weight loss is your apology to yourself! Forgive, and move on...but don't forget, it will keep you motivated.

debswebby

I agree....be proud of what you accomplished! Don't let guilt bring you down, your weight loss is your apology to yourself! Forgive, and move on...but don't forget, it will keep you motivated.

I love that. I am going to make this my mantra. Thank you :flowerforyou:

Congratulations on your weight loss. Be proud. Be very proud xxx

spottedlee

I recently attended a dinner where I saw a large number of people I had not seen in a long while. All were very complimentary on my new appearance. Hearing their kind words was wonderful and inspirational validation for all my efforts over the past year and a half.

There is a small part of me that also feels shame at having gained so much weight in the first place. I have a slight tinge of embarrassment when receiving such compliments as it was my poor behavior that caused so much weight gain in the first place.

While I am able to accept the compliments and am so pleased that my new lifestyle is welcomed, it does bother me that I let myself reach such an unhealthy weight in the first place.

I wanted to say "lesson learned" but that's a wrong word! I wouldn't be shameful that you gain in first place. I mean,, there ought to be a reason for it and you finally figured it out and do something about it.. to me,, that's a HUGH achievement. You made a difference in your life...

susanofscottsdale

Congratulations on your weight loss - what an impressive accomplishment. And, I admire your personal insight recognizing your own discomfort with compliments.

Something to consider, if you do not think that you deserve the compliments, you may find increasing emotional issues that cause you to "reject" being slim. Based on personal experience, these emotional issues must be addressed and resolved in order to sustain the healthier body and lifestyle you are currently chosing.

Best wishes for your continued success.

icemaiden17_uk

I second that! I hate myself for letting myself get so big!! It is awful! But then that is why I am so determined to get it right this time!! Well done on your loss so far and I know you too can make it stick! Because that is the real test!

fteale

I totally feel like that. I hate it when people comment on how much weight I have lost, as I am only just back to where I should be, weight wise, and I hate that I was bigger than this for so long. I also hate that some people manage to just snap back after having children, whereas I have had to work my *kitten* off for it!

soniams

I totally feel like that. I hate it when people comment on how much weight I have lost, as I am only just back to where I should be, weight wise, and I hate that I was bigger than this for so long.

I think this is the issue for me. By getting smaller, I am just getting to a normal size - someplace I should have been all along. While clearly the effort to reach this place is remarkable the outcome is just to be normal.