Significant Other Shows No Emotion/Affection Toward Animals

JBennis1013

I find that odd. I know that some people are not animal people, but to even think that way about a child is just strange. I'll use myself as an example...I am a HUGE dog person...they show unconditional love for their owners. I am am not that fond of cats, but would never deny love and affection for one if one came into my possession or I was in a relationship with someone who had a cat. If he can't show emotion towards an animal or a child I would consider how things might be if you got married etc.

erinrose07

I never wanted anything to do with kids, I mean I avoided them at all costs, when my sister brought her kids over I went right in my room and hid until they left. Unless you have a GREAT natural appreciation for children or you have your own or were raised with them ( I was the youngest child in my family) it's difficult to see the appeal. I now have three kids and two step kids and love them all more than anything, I'm still not big on OTHER peoples kids to be honest altho i do appreciate them a lot more .

Thank you- you give the future hope, lol!

erinrose07

As long as there are no signs of abuse or controlling behavior, you have my blessing. It's always different when it's YOUR pet or YOUR kid. If he were to choose a pet for himself or have a child of his own, he might do a 180.

How does he treat his family? Mother? Sisters? That is a big clue. Also if other people are warning you about him now, I would run. But if everyone loves him as you do, OK. Just give it time.

My mom and 2 best friends (one man and one woman) really like him and I love him, of course. He's not very close with his parents and they have a kind of "show affection by doing things for each other" way about them. This is surprising to me because he is so able to display affection towards me despite this type of upbringing. He's not abusive at all....rather, he is very rational, calm, practical, logical and by the book about things. His neighbors and roommate always tell me what a nice young man I have found....I just hope he'll come around when it comes to his own children one day!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I married a man like you're describing, thinking that his affection for me would make up for lack of affection for most other people. As it turned out, after 5 years of marriage I became one of those inconveniences-- he had nothing personal against me he just didn't want the inconvenience of being married anymore.

Ultimately no one knows your guy and your relationship but you. It's good that you're asking these questions now, before you get married. And honestly it's probably good that you're living together too; I wished I'd moved in with my ex and experienced what living with him would be like before we got married.

karenjoy

all joking aside, if you are asking the opinion of strangers then you have concerns, I would find a man with that little empathy and humanity a real concern, he sounds like the sort of man I would avoid like the plague, and the excuses that other people have made for him are just that, excuses for his behaviour, YOU are the one who has to live with him, make a good choice and think about what you deserve and want from a life partner, a cold man who can not show affection or interest, even a low level one to children and animals that are important to you sounds like one you need to pass up. Sorry, we are not talking about random dogs or children, they are ones that are important in your life,.

I would be saying 'I USED to date this guy who was a total emotional cripple, until I came to my senses....'

livnlite

Yep, I have to agree with the masses. Categorically there are people who are animal lovers, animal haters and those who are indifferent. If he says he doesn't like your dog then he is definitely not a lover, If he is not mean to animals, then he's not a hater ... sounds more like he just couldn't care less.

Although, if your pet is not trained, and has accidents, or is subjecting your household to any number of other dog related unpleasantries, your man's 'indifference' may turn to into down right resentment, which often manifests itself into some level of abusive behaviour towards that animal. It's inevitable.

I have friends like that, who were born and raised on a farm. They have the same attitude towards animals like dogs and cats. In 'their' world, dogs and cats are no different that livestock. They serve a purpose. They can tolerate then, they can even provide their basic needs but no affection .. none at all.

That's not to say ALL farmers are completely lacking in affection, just some.

If you plan on having a family sometime in the future, you really need to consider his short comings in that department. You really do have to decide what type of father figure you want for your children.

There is a time in our adult life, when we have to start making adult decisions. Like for insance, who we choose to spend our time with. You have to stand back and look at the big picture, when choosing a partner .. especially a longterm partner. If you to not only love them, but you have to like them. Sounds to me like this guy lacks in too many things that are important to you. The chances of this being long term may be somewhat challenged.

godroxmysox

If you're going to want children of your own one day then he is clearly not the right match for you. :flowerforyou:

^ these were my exact thoughts!

erinrose07

Thanks everyone for your honest opinions. It helps hearing all of the various perspectives. I know some of you were concerned by the mere fact that I was to the point of asking strangers for their opinions....that's fair. I guess I'll say that the only reason I ask total strangers is because I don't have any close friends in NC yet. I'm new to the area and my job is with kids...when you work in a house with babies all day you don't get much opportunity to converse with others your age or even the opportunity to meet anyone! This has always been a frustrating aspect of my job, but it's worth it. I have very close friends back home in MA, but since we live so far away we've just become "out of the loop" in what's going on with one another's lives.

Which brings up another topic.......
How does a girl make friends in a new area when she cannot do so at work? I don't go out to bars but I do go to the gym. I'm very outgoing yet I never seem to meet someone right off the cuff and feel comfortable asking them if they want to do something together sometime....I'd feel like the poor girl would think I'm hitting on her, lol!

Anyone in similar situations?

ItsCasey

I'm going to be another voice of dissent here. Even as a female, I do not get all mushy over babies the way most women do. That doesn't mean I don't like babies or that I don't want kids. I just don't lose my composure over them. My mom was/is the same way, and I couldn't have asked for a better mother, so don't judge the guy's potential as a father based on whether or not he is openly affectionate toward babies OR animals.

As for your dog, she's old, and she has issues related to her age that probably make her seem like a bit of a burden to someone who hasn't been around her for her whole life. If he'd known your dog since she was a puppy, I think he might feel differently about her. While I love pets, especially dogs, they are not humans, and unless your boyfriend is abusive to the dog, I think it's unwise to make judgments about his affection and compassion for humans based on how affectionate he is toward your dog.

TheBraveryLover

Which brings up another topic.......
How does a girl make friends in a new area when she cannot do so at work? I don't go out to bars but I do go to the gym. I'm very outgoing yet I never seem to meet someone right off the cuff and feel comfortable asking them if they want to do something together sometime....I'd feel like the poor girl would think I'm hitting on her, lol!

Anyone in similar situations?

www.meetup.com It's a great source for social groups who meet up and form friendships. Before my best friend moved back to our hometown, I attended a few meet up events and ended up getting really close to a few women. Definitely check it out.