family falling out

Options
cba4994
cba4994 Posts: 147 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am going through a really heart breaking situaltion with my oldest sister and could use some objective insight. My sisters and I lost our parents in early adulthood and I for one developed a very strong devotion to family. My sisters became my foundation and the thought that any of them, especially my oldest sister, would ever not be there for me never entered my mind. Recently, my oldest sister has been making decisions that I strongly disagree with and I believe will eventually not only hurt her but her children.

I am a very straight forward person and do not believe in sugar coating things or just sitting back and watching someone I love do things that concern me without at least sharing my concerns with them.

Long story, short. My sister has essentially turned her back on me and my other sisters and walked away because she knows we do not approve of what she is doing.She does not have any contact with any of us. I sent her a package with a heart felt letter about how family is forever and I will always be here for her and after a very congenial and quick thank you call about 3 weeks ago, I have heard nothing from her and don't expect to again.

I am very shaken and hurt and feel that I have put the ball in her court and don't intend on reaching out to her again, but I feel that in her current state of mind she will view this as me abandoning her.

I can't help but feel like she has slapped me in the face and I should just walk away, but I know the sting of losing loved ones with unresolved pain and how fragile life is. What do I do?

Replies

  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry. Try to do what you can to maintain some family contact and peace, and don't expect anything from a family member that they are unable to give. I have an older sis that I feel has "alienated herself" from me and my other sister as well. I haven't had a falling out as you have, but it is just annoying to be THE ONE who picks up the phone or makes the plans to get together. As a result, we have only occasional contact. Some things to ask yourself--- Is it more emotionally draining to wait for her response, or just be the one who keeps the contact going? Sometimes there is just one who always has to put it together the best they can, or nothing happens. I watched my now deceased mother alienate herself from her brothers and only in recent years restored some sense of family contact. She was the first to die, and they have regrets and guilt over the falling out. I hope you can come to terms with this.

Categories